


A Fine Day for a Forced Wedding

by Alexis_Tenshi



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Abuse, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dark, Angst, Barry Allen Whump, Bigotry & Prejudice, Blackmail, Dark Barry Allen, Dark Iris, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder, Revenge, Torture, Violence, all characters are either dark or gray morality, brief reference to past sexual harassment, metahuman rights issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-05-21 09:25:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 53,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14912757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexis_Tenshi/pseuds/Alexis_Tenshi
Summary: Barry had wanted to marry Iris, but that was a long time ago. That was before he’d understood how the world worked, and what a marriage to her would really be like. Now he dreaded it and longed for a way to escape his fate. But he had no choice. If he didn’t marry Iris, his father would be killed in prison.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please note this is a DARK au. All characters here are portrayed with some shade of dark to grey. There are no clean white hats here. 
> 
> I consider the ending I have planned mostly happy and hopeful, but not everyone may agree with that. Essentially, it leaves both Barry and Len well enough off and happy together. But not everything else is fixed or tied up happily. 
> 
> Since both Barry and Len live, I haven’t tagged this major character death. However, characters that are major in the show do die, and violently.

Barry’s neck hurt. It was a minor problem, in the grand scheme of things. It was a minor problem in his life. But it still hurt.

It wasn’t the extreme pain of broken bones, or gunshot wounds, or radiation poison, or electrocution; all of which Barry had firsthand knowledge of, among countless other injuries. But it was a sore, throbbing, itching, ache. It was constant, and it hurt.

And no one cared.

It was thanks to the meta-power dampening collar Barry wore. It was too tight. It chaffed his neck. It rubbed at the tender skin of his throat constantly. As fast as Barry healed, his neck was still always sore because he always wore the collar. As soon as his powers managed to heal the wound once, it was just inflicted again.

The collar was currently set to suppress only _most_ of his powers. So his neck healed faster than a human. But not fast enough to ever stop hurting completely for more than a few hours.

A few hours here and there were all he was ever allowed access to his powers fully, when he was on missions requiring them. Even then, it was the collar’s power that was turned off. The collar itself never left his neck, so it could be turned back on at a moment’s notice if he stepped out of line. He’d worn it since he turned 16; the legal age metahumans were first allowed to be collared for ‘their own safety and the safety of others.’

Joe had put that first collar on Barry after he’d caught Barry using his speed to do chores around the house. Metahuman powers were dangerous, Joe had said. Using them for something like that was just lazy, he’d said. Never mind he’d never set that rule before. Never mind that Barry promised to listen and not use his powers. Having the collar made it easier for Barry to not give in to temptation, Joe had said.

Joe, his foster father, was Barry’s first ‘primary handler’ as they were called. All metas had one, as soon as they developed powers. Metas were too dangerous to be responsible for themselves, they said. The handlers were meant to be benevolent and in the best interests of everyone, metas included. If no human family member was willing and available for the role, all communities had patrolling cops that fulfilled the duty. A meta could never be the handler for another meta. Metas had secondary handlers at school or work. They oversaw them when they were there, had control of their collar there, and reported their behavior back to their primary handler.

Barry was lucky, he was told. Joe was a good dad, he was told. Metas assigned to the cops had much stricter supervision than those lucky enough to get a family member. Never mind Joe _was_ a cop. He was a good cop, Barry was told.

Barry even agreed, sometimes. Joe could have been much worse. But he could have been better, too.

He could have set up meta power dampening outlets around the house, so Barry could at least take the collar off at home. He refused. He said a meta without a collar was just asking to be accused of a crime. Yes, even if Barry was at home without one. Joe wasn’t willing to risk it. Or so he said.

The real reason Joe refused to let Barry ever take the collar off was because he was afraid Barry would run off to visit his dad in prison. Barry knew that and shouted it at Joe during one of their heated arguments about the collar. It was the one and only time Joe used the shock feature of the collar.

As Barry’s handler, Joe had a remote to the collar. It had settings to control how much of Barry’s power it suppressed. It also had a stun feature. When a button on the remote was pressed, the collar sent millions of volts of electricity directly into Barry’s neck. The voltage was set specifically for Barry; who with the extent of his powers was considered a high risk meta. It wasn’t enough to knock Barry out, unless done repeatedly, but it hurt like hell. It left burning welts on his neck.

Seeing Barry gasping and withering on the ground from being shocked, Joe swore never to use it again. To his credit, he never did.

But he never set up the power dampening outlets to let Barry take the collar off, either. He never let Barry visit his father, even supervised and with the collar on.

Barry’s father was a killer, Joe said. He’d vibrated his hand into Barry’s mother’s chest, killing her like the monster he’d always been, no matter how well he’d hidden it before. Barry didn’t believe it. He’d seen the real killer that night. But no one listened to a little boy defending his dad. Especially when that little boy had the meta gene, like his father, and his mother had been human.

Barry’s dad, Henry Allen, was more commonly known as the Flash. He was a speedster superhero that tried to help anyone that needed it. The public loved him, for years. He saved countless lives. He’d gone by Jay Garrick in public, in an attempt to keep his family life private. But he’d used his real name; Henry Allen, when he married Nora.

He’d adored Nora, and she’d respected and supported him. She never bought into any of the anti-meta fear mongering or politics. She believed in Henry’s vigilante work. She’d trusted him.

And it’s gotten her killed, Joe said. There was no speedster in yellow, no matter what Henry and Barry said. Henry was the only speedster on earth, until Barry grew up and developed the same powers. No one else could have committed the crime. So Henry got convicted and got sent to prison. He wore a collar he never got to take off, too.

His case was used as fuel for the anti-meta fire. Laws requiring a ‘benevolent’ handler for every meta were instituted. Metas that refused to obey the new laws ran, some escaped, but more were captured and imprisoned. People abused the laws and set up meta trafficking rings. Illegal paperwork was created to make the highest bidder a handler to whatever metas they could pay for.

With all that in perspective, Barry was lucky. He knew that.

Joe had been Henry’s friend and police contact. So he approved of Joe fostering Barry. For four years, it was even a good arrangement. Joe was strict, but fair. From the age of 12, until Barry reached 16 and developed powers, Joe treated Barry just like a normal kid. Barry could almost see him as a father, for those four years.

Barry kept campaigning Henry’s innocence. But no one listened. Except Iris.

Iris was Barry’s best friend, confidant, and first love. She was kind, and supportive, and understanding. She argued for him at school when a teacher accused Barry of something unfairly and threatened to push the shock button for his collar just because he stood up for himself, or when a bully tried to push him around. From the ages of 12 to 18, Barry idolized her.

Even when Joe put the collar on Barry at 16, Iris was on Barry’s side. She tried to convince her father to let Barry take the collar off at home. She bought healing creams and ointments for Barry’s neck. She even applied them herself; using her long fingers to rub his skin under the collar.

Barry confessed to her at 17, right after they graduated high school together, and she took it fairly well. She said she was very fond of him, but wanted to wait until after college before seriously dating anyone. It wasn’t quite rejection, but it wasn’t affirmation either. Still, Barry took it as positively as he could. Barry said he would wait for her, though she hadn’t asked him to and made no promises herself.

Iris went to Opal Town University, an Ivy League school. Barry went to Central City Community College. It was unfair, and both Joe and Iris sympathized. Barry was the top of his class, but no universities accepted him. Their excuses were flimsy and the real reason obvious. Barry was a meta.

It was illegal to discriminate against metas at schools or jobs, as long as they agreed to the handler laws. Teachers, or supervisors, or security guards would be given the remotes to all metas under them as secondary handlers. Their primary handlers could never be more than 50 miles away. But it could so rarely be proven as discrimination when positions and jobs went to qualified humans instead.

So Barry commuted to college from the West house, while Iris moved to the dorms at hers. It was the beginning of the end for them, Barry realized later.

They didn’t see each other again until Christmas break. Barry tried to call her often, but she was usually too busy to talk. So it was the first time in months he’d really had a chance to tell her how he was doing at college. At first, everything seemed normal. But then Barry told her how one of his professors had turned the shock on his collar on several times that semester, just because he’d tried to debate with him about metahuman history.

“Well, maybe you should have just kept quiet, Barry!” Iris had sighed, as if very tired of him. “He _is_ the professor!”

“But he said metas have historically been more violent than humans!” Barry protested. “That’s just not true!”

“Now look, Barry, I’m not saying all metas are violent. But historically, he’s right! Look at all the serial killers that have been metas, the dictators, the mobsters! Statistically there has been more violence lead by metas than by humans, since metas started appearing in the last century.”

“Iris…” Barry had been so hurt and shocked he’d barely been able to form a reply. “Metas are no different than humans, besides our powers! Our brains and emotions function exactly the same way! We are no more predisposed to violence than humans! The science…”

“Don’t tell me the science!” Iris waved at him in dismissal. “I’m not a nerd. I don’t understand brain science and all that nonsense! But I know the history! Just look at the news over the last two decades! 75% is meta violence! Even your own father was a…”

“My father is innocent!” Barry cut her off, hurt and offended.

“I know you believe that, Barry.” Iris gentled her voice, but she sounded patronizing rather than sympathetic. “I wanted to believe you, I did! But what are the odds that there’s another speedster out there running around that no one saw before or since! You imagined him, to deal with the trauma of what you saw!”

Barry had felt so betrayed he hadn’t been able to respond.

“I know you’re a good person, Barry! I do! I know you want to believe metas are just as good as humans. But just because you’re good and a meta, doesn’t mean the majority…or even half…of all the other metas are. I know this is hard to hear. But if you believe that, you’re just setting yourself up for hurt.”

“Iris…I…where is this coming from?!”

“College is…eye-opening, Barry.” Iris sighed again. “I’m sorry you couldn’t go to a real college to experience it for yourself.”

“I’m _at_ a real college, Iris!” Barry snapped. “It might not be as prestigious as yours. But at least I’m not learning to be a bigot!”

“Barry Allen, you take that back! I am no such thing! I’m an African American woman! I know more about experiencing prejudice than you ever could!”

“I have a collar on, Iris. You have a remote to it in your pocket that can send millions of volts of electricity into me. Why?! Because I did something wrong? No! Because I’m a meta and you’re a human!”

“How did you know Dad gave me a remote to your collar?! Were you spying on us?!”

“No! I overheard! I…”

Barry snapped his mouth shut as he watched Iris finger the remote in her pocket.

“Are you going to use it?” Barry asked in a low voice, his throat tight.

“Of course not!” Iris frowned deeply. “You’re right; an argument is no reason to shock you. But I _know_ you, Barry. Your professor couldn’t have known if the argument was about to turn violent! He was probably just scared!

“Dad just gave me a remote to your collar because people are scared! Meta violence has escalated in the past few months! More and more metas are protesting the meta protection laws, and getting into huge brawls with the cops. People are scared! If we’re out together and I can show them I have your remote, they’ll leave us alone! But a meta without a handler nearby is scary!”

Barry swallowed hard. His mind was swimming in hurt and confusion. Iris had only been gone a semester! How had she changed this much so quickly?!

“Iris…did something happen at your school? Did a meta hurt you?!” Barry ventured a guess.

Iris’ eyes widened and she looked away. She didn’t respond for several moments. Barry waited, hoping he was wrong. But it didn’t seem that way.

“No…” Iris finally spoke. “Not me. But my roommate…she was killed. She was…cut up….stabbed and dismembered. She…her boyfriend was a meta. We…we joked about how he had claws like Wolverine. They seemed so happy together! But…but he _killed_ her! For _no_ reason! And I…and I…I found her, like that, in pieces in our room, and I….”

Iris started crying and Barry felt horrible for thinking the worst of her. She was clearly traumatized! He went to hug her and she flinched. He backed away and kept his hands to himself.

“I…I am _so_ sorry, Iris! There was nothing about it on the news. I would have heard!”

“They kept it quiet.” Iris shook her head. “Her mother is rich and…not fond of metas. She didn’t want it to get out that her daughter’d been dating one. You know they’d victim blame her on the news if they knew; say it was her own fault for being with a meta.”

Barry didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to help her. He wanted to say she could have called him. But she knew that. He’d called her plenty of times. If she’d wanted to talk to him about this, she would have. She clearly didn’t feel comfortable talking to him about it.

“I’m seeing a therapist about it. So you don’t have to worry, Barry.” Iris assured him. “I’m working through it. I’m sorry if I….said anything that offended you. I just need some time.”

So Barry kept quiet and hoped Iris was right. He had faith in her good nature and kindness. In time, he thought, she would realize not all metas were to be mistrusted, not matter how horrible some might be. Therapy would help, if she had a good therapist.

Years later, Barry wondered if he could have changed things if he’d said more that day. If he could have somehow steered Iris in a different direction; if he’d just known the right things to say. If he’d asked more about the therapist, would Iris have admitted that they were anti-meta themselves and only confirmed Iris’ fears? But Barry hadn’t. Iris was her own person on her own path. Barry could only do so much.

Barry and Iris grew as distant as their two colleges. They rarely talked. When they saw each other over summers and on holidays, their conversations were awkward and stilted. But Iris was never mean. She never pushed the button to shock Barry. She never spoke against meta rights in Barry’s hearing. But he worried about what she said when he wasn’t there.

\------------------------------

After college, finding a job wasn’t easy for Barry. He wanted to be a forensic scientist. He passed the certification tests with flying colors. But no police force would have him. Between being a meta and his father’s record, they wouldn’t even consider him.

Then Argus came calling. Amanda Waller, the director of the organization, visited him personally. Barry had never considered working for the government, and certainly not a military-like organization like Argus. But they offered him a job, when no one else had. He didn’t have many choices, and they presented an appealing offer.

Argus offered him a unique deal. He would put on a super-suit, much like the one his father had worn as the Flash, and fight metahuman criminals; save innocents and protect lives. If he did that, as needed, he could work in their science lab the rest of the time. It would be good publicity for metas, they said. He could show the world not all metahumans were bad. He could be a beacon of hope for good metahumans everywhere, while putting away the metas that gave them all a bad name. He could reclaim his father’s legacy as the Flash, under Argus’ careful supervision. People, both meta and human, would see the Flash as a hero again.

Joe, as his primary handler could work for Argus, too. They could always use more talented detectives. And that way Barry would have someone there he trusted.

Iris too, was offered a job. They had administration and pr positions open. It would be a great start to her career.

They wanted them both there to better control Barry. Barry realized that later. But at the time, it sounded like an opportunity he couldn’t turn down. He really did want to do good for the world. He wanted to help people. He wanted to stop anyone hurting people. He wanted to show the world that metas could do good with their powers. With his powers, he was in a unique position to be able to do that.

Both Iris and Joe encouraged him to accept. They both wanted the jobs. Iris had other offers, but she loved the idea of working for Argus. Joe would get a large pay increase from his CCPD job. It was all too good to be true. But Barry agreed, not seeing that at the time.

\---------------------------------

It went to shit pretty quickly. At first, Joe worked closely with Barry while he learned to use his powers. Barry was trained and he loved getting to use his speed. But he was never good enough, never fast enough. Joe was too soft on him, they said. Joe was quietly assigned to other duties. No hard feelings, they said. Not everyone was meant to be a teacher, even if they were a good handler. Joe scowled, but obeyed. He’d still be Barry’s primary handler when they weren’t at work.

At Argus, Barry was assigned to train with a team of people. Harrison Wells was his handler during work hours in the Argus lab and training facility. Wells was also the handler of Cisco Ramon and Caitlin Snow while they were at work. Both were scientists working for Argus and also metas.

Cisco had meta genes that hadn’t manifested in noticeable powers. But still the handler laws applied to him. Powers could appear at any time, or never. Some powers were highly dangerous and others mostly harmless. But metas were still metas, under the law.

Caitlin had cold based powers. But she hated using them. She only would if forced to. There were reasons there, but she didn’t like to talk about them. Barry didn’t press her. He hoped Argus respected her wishes.

Together, the team slowly got Barry up to speed. Wells was tough on him, but not cruel. He never shocked Barry, or Caitlin, with the collars. Ramon suffered his anger a few times, and got shocked. But that was rare. None of them complained. They liked the work and wanted to be able to keep doing it. They could have had it a lot worse. They became friends, the three of them, and they respected Wells.

When Barry started going out in the field, it was always with a team of Argus agents. The highest ranking one always held Barry’s collar remote. It was rarely the same team. They said that was to discourage bonding between team members. An agent more concerned about his team mates than the mission had a higher chance to fail the mission, they said.

Barry disagreed. He thought developing rapport with a team you trusted was the best way to success. But he knew better than to voice that. Argus was harsh, even for the military. When Barry was working in the lab with Cisco, Caitlin, and Doctor Wells, Barry could ignore the brutality of the organization. He really thought they were doing good work, in the lab. They studied the meta genes. They experimented with Barry’s control of his powers.

But out in the field it was different. At first, Barry was happy to hunt down violent metas. But more and more he realized not all the metas he was sent after were violent. Some were petty thieves. Some had done nothing wrong besides refuse to submit to a handler. But in the eyes of the law, they were all guilty. Most didn’t even get trials, just got carted off to an Argus prison that Barry had never actually seen.

And then there were Barry’s field handlers. Sometimes he got Joe, or a few decent others, and it was fine. Sometimes he got the ones that decided he’d not listened well enough, or fought hard enough, or even just been particularly annoying. Then they pressed the button on the remote to his collar and sent millions of volts of electricity directly into his neck. Sometimes they laughed while Barry withered it pain.

Sometimes, to vary it up, they didn’t shock him. They just turned the power dampening on his collar back on to full, suddenly and without warning. Barry was forced to trip and fall, suddenly infinitely slower than he’d been a second before. He broke his legs countless times. He fell down a building he’d been running up. He got concussion after concussion. Each time they just turned the collar’s dampening off to let him heal after, and blamed slippery fingers or malfunctioning equipment. As if that made it all better.

Barry complained to his superiors, and he got assigned to Joe more often, for awhile. But it never lasted. He always ended up back with the agents that hated him for existing and used any excuse to take it out on him.

Barry complained more and was told he could quit if it was too much for him. But if he did, then Joe would be left to go on the dangerous missions without meta support. And what about missions that needed support from a van while they were in action, or crowd control of civilians…wouldn’t Iris be great for those?

It was a thinly veiled threat. But it took. Barry might not always agree with Joe and Iris. But they were still the closest thing to family he’d had growing up. He still cared about them. They didn’t want to leave their jobs. They didn’t listen when Barry told them about the abuse he suffered, or the threats on their own lives. They said he was over reacting and taking things too personally. But still Barry couldn’t just leave them there. They’d gotten those jobs in the first place because of Barry.

So Barry stayed. But every time Joe and Iris smiled at him and told him how wonderful Argus was and what a good job they were doing cleaning up meta trash, after not really listening to a word Barry said, Barry’s chest ached. Every time he had to capture a meta that’d just been trying to gain a little freedom for themselves, something inside Barry broke. Every time one of his superiors used his collar to beat him down, something else inside Barry snapped.

With every passing day working for Argus, Barry was pushed further and further from who he used to be.

 

**End notes:**

I’m nervous sharing this one, I’ll admit. Not for this first part here so much, but for what I have planned later. **Please take note of the tags and the beginning note.** I don’t want anyone to be unexpectedly upset by anything.

If you’re still sticking around, I hope you enjoy the ride. Comments and kudos are very much appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

Things _really_ went to shit when they found out the truth about Wells. Barry had been working for Argus a little over two years at that point. He’d been training as hard as he could, between missions and the heartache of realizing what sort of organization he’d become part of. But he never got fast enough for Wells…Eobard Thawne.

Eobard, the speedster from the future that’d killed Barry’s mother and let his father be framed for it. Eobard, who managed to pose as a human for years after killing the real Wells. Eobard, who needed Barry to run fast enough to send him back to the future. Eobard, who was the distant descendant of Eddie Thawne; the man Iris had been dating for months.

Eddie was an ambitious rookie Argus agent. But he had a good moral center and seemed to truly love Iris. He was cautious around metas, but he seemed more open minded to them than most agents. He was good for Iris, Barry had to admit. Iris was better, kinder, more like her old self around him.

And Barry had to kill him.

Eobard was trapped behind a force field that Cisco had developed, but it wouldn’t last long. Eobard had lost patience with Barry. Eobard was furious and ranting and ready to go on a rampage against Barry and the team of Argus agents standing in his way, including Eddie. And then the voice on Barry’s comm ordered him to do the unthinkable.

“Flash. Kill Edward Thawne. Do it now. Quickly.”

“What?!?!”

“This is Director Waller. Kill Agent Thawne. Kill Eddie. Now! That is a direct order!”

“What?! No!!!” Barry yelled, absolutely horrified and resolute.

Barry turned toward Eddie, who was talking to other Argus agents and trying to work out a solution. Eddie didn’t react, so obviously Waller was talking directly to Barry’s comm only.

“He’s that lunatic meta’s forefather, you idiot! Kill him now, and Eobard will never have been born! You’re not fast enough to take down another speedster, Flash. Eobard trained you and know exactly what you’re capable of! Killing Eddie is the only way.”

“No. I will _not_.” Barry’s voice went cold as he answered.

“Mr. Allen…” Waller’s voice was just as deadly. “Iris and Joe are only a few feet away from me. Your little lab rat friends aren’t much further. Your father is defenseless in Iron Heights. You will kill Eddie, or I will kill _everyone_ you care about!”

Barry shook in rage and agony over this choice he was being forced to make. He didn’t doubt Waller for a second. He’d gotten to know her methods well over the past few years. She was ruthless and completely self righteous in her methods. He had no doubt she would carry out her threat if he didn’t obey. She would start with Joe and Iris, then move on to the others. One by one she would kill everyone he cared about until he listened to her order.

Eddie and the other Argus agents were all disarmed. Eobard had destroyed their weapons before they trapped him. None of the other agents could kill Eddie quickly, even if they would have listened to Waller’s order. Eddie could defend himself from them, and by the time it was over Eobard would be free. Barry was the only one capable of it.

It was wrong. Absolutely. It was morally reprehensible. Barry didn’t believe in the ‘just following orders’ excuse. This was his choice to make. But what choice was it, really?! Kill one good man, so five others could live? Maybe even more than that, if Eobard started killing when he got free.

Barry made his choice, wishing desperately he didn’t have to. He sped over to Eddie. He tried to not look at the man’s face, but Barry knew Eddie’s clueless, innocent expression in that moment would be burned into his memory for the rest of his life. Using fighting techniques Argus had taught him, Barry grabbed Eddie’s head, twisted it, and snapped his neck. It took Barry less than a second to do it. It was too fast for Eddie to even feel it before he died.

Eddie dropped to the ground, quite dead. Barry should have grabbed his body and not let him fall, maybe, he thought. But he couldn’t bring himself to. He felt dirty and unable to touch Eddie again, after what he’d done.

Eobard faded.

In the command center, Iris screamed and screamed.

Barry hated himself. But he hated Argus more.

Barry stepped back, away from Eddie’s body. The other Argus agents there turned on his collar; both power dampening and shocking him. He couldn’t explain his actions between the shocks, not that they would listen anyway. Barry withered on the ground in pain for a long time before Waller bothered to explain to them that he’d been following her orders.

\--------------------------

That would be the end of any real friendship between Iris and Barry, he thought. They hadn’t been exactly close in awhile. But they had maintained some semblance of what they once had together as children. With Eddie gone, that was gone too.

Oh, Iris didn’t come right out and say it. She remained coolly polite to Barry. She said she understood his choice. She knew he’d been acting under a direct order. She knew what had been at stake. But Barry saw the disgust in her eyes when she looked at him.

He told her about the threats Waller had made. He didn’t think it would make any difference, but he had to try.

“She didn’t mean it, obviously.” Iris had scoffed. “She shouldn’t have had to say it, either way. You should have just obeyed. It’s that what your Star Wars ear guy said? _‘The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one’?_ If Eobard lived, who knows how many people he would have killed. Eddie would have agreed. I don’t blame you, Barry.”

She’d gotten Star Wars and Star Trek mixed up again, but Barry barely noticed. He felt numb and lost. She was telling him she forgave him, but he saw the hate in her eyes.

It would’ve been easier if she just admitted it. If she raged and cried at Barry, he could have taken it. But this fake friendliness, this false calm, disturbed Barry more.

Iris refused to quit Argus, even then. She said Eddie had died in the line of duty there, so the best she could do to honor him would be to work harder there. Joe agreed. Barry stayed because what else was he going to do? He had nowhere else to go.

His father had been proven innocent; Barry tried to hold onto that. But even that was taken away from him.

Eobard hadn’t left any proof. There was no recording of his confession. Plenty of Argus agents had heard him confess. But that was classified, they said. Maybe someday, they said, they could testify to what they’d heard. But not now. The public would panic. Metas would riot. Humans didn’t need to know an evil speedster had been running around killing and impersonating people. Metas didn’t need to know their former superhero was rotting in prison on a false conviction. Maybe later when tensions weren’t so high, then they could look into getting Henry released. Another thing to hold over Barry to get his continued cooperation with Argus.

He still wasn’t permitted to even visit his father without a handler, and none had ever agreed to take him. Barry hadn’t seen his father since he was 12. He couldn’t even go tell Henry that Nora’s killer had met justice, in a way.

So Barry seethed, and hurt, and felt useless and lost.

\-----------------------------

Things got worse.

Barry, Cisco, and Caitlin got a new handler in the labs. His name was Julian Albert and he didn’t hesitate to tell them all how much he hated metas. He didn’t hesitate to shock them all using their collars. He didn’t hesitate to constantly be horrible and cruel.

Barry’s collar was turned on even more often, dampening his powers. His training slowed. He was fast enough for his Argus missions. He didn’t need to be faster, they said. It was obvious they didn’t want to risk Barry actually achieving the ability to time travel, like Eobard had hoped.

Barry was miserable and bordering on hopeless. That was why when Iris asked him to date her, just a few months after Eddie’s death, Barry agreed. He didn’t really care for her that way anymore. But she remembered his confession from what felt like a lifetime ago. She said she was ready to try.

He didn’t believe her. He saw the way she looked at him. There was no love or desire in those eyes, just contempt and disgust. But he went along with it, thinking maybe somehow it would fix things. Maybe somehow spending more time with her would bring back the old Iris. Maybe it would somehow make up for his part in Eddie’s death.

So he played the part of smitten boyfriend and she played the part of sweet girlfriend. He knew she didn’t really feel that way about him. But he kept thinking if he just went along with it, maybe it would help her somehow. And what else was he going to do? So he kept it up.

Later he realized that was one of his many mistakes. He should have never said yes to her. He should have cut her off as soon as he realized it wasn’t working. But he didn’t. And somewhere in there, Iris became convinced he was in love with her still…or again.

If it’d made her happy because she thought he cared for her that way, he might have been happy about it. But it didn’t. It made her happy because it gave her power over him. It gave her status and respect at Argus. The Flash’s girlfriend. Of course she was important. She wasn’t just another secretary-type now. They moved her to the command center and she started barking orders to him over the comms.

She wasn’t exactly good at it. He could have figured out what to do and done it ten times by the time she got done saying it once. But he wasn’t allowed to do that. He had to wait for her orders to act. He wasn’t out in the field to _think_ , they told him. Save his brain for the lab, they said. In the field, he was just there for his speed.

“We did it, Barry.” Iris would say after a successful mission. “And you know why? Because we’re the Flash!”

Iris had started doing that; calling them both together the Flash. It irritated Barry. He was the one out in the field risking his life. He was the meta with a collar around his neck. If she had been saying it in solidarity with him, it might have been different. But she was saying it to prop herself up and diminish him. She soaked up the accolades she got from Argus. For Barry, it was just another unfairness he needed to endure among many.

Iris became friendly with Director Waller. Iris began to perfect the art of seeming to be kind while actually being cruel.

Barry became more miserable. But he felt trapped, in more ways than one. If he broke it off with Iris, it would just get worse. And it wasn’t like it even felt like dating, to him. Oh, they went out on dates. Occasionally they held hands or kissed. But it all felt fake and forced, to Barry. He felt no real connection to Iris anymore at all. It was like going through the motions, like so much of his life had become.

\-----------------------------

And then it got worse anyway.

Barry got hit by a meta with some sort of brain scrambling powers. He didn’t remember it, honestly. But apparently he’d become a rambling idiot, by Waller’s description; making no sense and talking gibberish. Caitlin compared it to Alzheimer’s and they had no way to cure it.

In the meantime, they were under attack by some sort of samurai metas intent on fighting the Flash. Iris, in her misguided wisdom, goaded them to take her instead. She said the Flash would come save her. She really believed it. She really thought that was the best way to force Barry to recover; by putting her own life in danger.

It didn’t work.

Joe apparently pleaded with Barry, telling him Iris was going to die. Barry had no memory of that. He didn’t snap out of it. He didn’t race to Iris’ rescue. He couldn’t. A brain injury wasn’t a ‘snap out of it’ thing. But that didn’t matter to Iris, so certain that Barry was so devoted to her that it’d be enough.

She didn’t die, in the end. She got skewered by a few swords, lost a lot of blood, but recovered fully. She was completely healed by the time Caitlin, Cisco, and Julian did find a cure for Barry.

Joe, and others, weren’t so lucky.

Joe died because of his own daughter’s foolish bravado, and because his foster son wasn’t as much of a miracle worker as she’d wanted to believe. Iris watched while the samurai impaled her father, while Barry sat incoherent and unaware in an Argus cell. It’d taken dozens of Argus agents and high tech bombs to defeat the samurais.

There were civilian casualties, too. Casualties that might have been avoided if Iris hadn’t let them take her to a different location in the first place. Barry might have reacted differently, but it was all over by the time he was coherent. There was no point in raging at Iris about it then. Especially because the rest of Argus was hailing her bravery and placing the blame on Barry and the scientists for not curing him sooner. Iris became Barry’s new primary handler in place of Joe, of course.

Barry mourned Joe, but it was in a detached way. He mourned the man that’d been kind to him as a child. But that man had been gone for a long time, to Barry.

Barry wasn’t sad, as much as he was angry. Angry at himself. Angry at Argus. Angry at Iris. Angry at Julian. Angry at the whole damn world. So much senseless violence and lose. But his anger had no outlet, so it was left to fester. He didn’t know what to do. It all felt hopeless and he felt helpless.

“I’m so sorry, Iris.” Barry told her, at Joe’s funeral.

He meant it, in a way. As righteously angry at Iris as he was, Joe had been her father. If anything of the old Iris was left buried in there somewhere, she would be suffering more than anyone else from this.

Barry wasn’t sure his words would even register to her. But to his surprise, she turned and smiled at him. It was so fake and forced that Barry flinched. But Iris pretended not to notice. Maybe she didn’t. Maybe she’d gotten so used to faking being fine, she’d fooled herself, too.

“It’s ok, Barry. We’ll be ok. We’re the Flash.”


	3. Chapter 3

Barry paid attention to politics, as much as he had time and could stomach to. There was a growing meta rights movement that he wished he could support publically. One of its more vocal leaders was Oliver Queen, the mayor of Star City and a human. His wife was a powerful civil rights lawyer, and a meta. Laurel Queen was one of the few metas that’d managed to overcome the odds and rise to success in a difficult career field.

Thanks to Argus intel, Barry knew Oliver and Laurel Queen were also the vigilantes known as the Hood and the Siren. They ran an underground movement to help abused metas, by force if needed. They ferried countless metas out of danger, getting them new identities and helping them relocate and evade capture.

To Barry’s shame, he’d fought them under Argus’ orders a few times. He’d held back, secretly agreeing with what they were doing. He’d gotten shot with arrows in his back for his trouble. But he didn’t blame them. He blamed Argus.

At least Argus hadn’t gone after them publically. Once they’d confirmed Oliver Queen was entirely human, despite his impressive use of a bow, the case against him became more complicated to win in court. And people would notice if either Oliver or Laurel went missing without a trial. They were well known public figures. So Argus started to turn a blind eye on their activities, for the most part, to Barry’s relief.

Slowly, the Queens’ movement gained force. About three years after Barry joined Argus; there was a landmark win to roll back some of the laws governing metahumans. After reaching the age of 25, metas that met certain criteria were allowed the choice to live without a handler and free of a collar or other power dampeners.

It was monumental, but it wasn’t perfect.

All metas under the age of 25 would still be required a handler. The excuse being they were too young to understand their powers and the consequences of using them.

If a meta was married to a human, that human automatically had control of their rights; exactly as a handler would have, including the option of a collar. It was a dangerous loophole, but the excuse given was that it would be far too easy for a meta to use their powers to abuse a human spouse. And if the meta willingly married a human, they ought to trust that person completely and not protest.

The Queens’ fought those caveats and others to the law change, but in the end agreed to them. It was a start, they said. They’d continue to fight for further changes, but for the time being at least this was something. The new law would go into effect in two months.

The day after that verdict was passed, Iris asked Barry to marry her.

They’d been dating for nearly a year at that point. It still felt fake and uncomfortable to Barry. But he’d seen no way out of it. He wanted to break up with Iris and quit Argus, but if he did, where would he go?

Metas still had a terrible time finding jobs. Even if Barry _could_ find a job available somewhere open to hiring metas, Barry had a reputation now. Argus hadn’t bothered to hide Barry’s identity as the Flash. Metas hated him and humans feared him thanks to what he’d done for Argus, exactly the opposite of what Argus had initially promised to entice Barry to join. All Barry had wanted to do was help people, both humans and metas. Now he felt trapped and helpless himself.

And Iris was his primary handler, as well as girlfriend. If he broke up with her and applied to switch handlers, he’d likely end up with a local cop as a handler outside of work and that would be worse. With Iris, as least she pretended to listen to him and consider his feelings. Handler cops wouldn’t even bother. Like Julian, who was a fellow scientist, but managed to make Barry’s every moment working in the lab a living hell. He never listened to Barry, obviously didn’t respect him, and shocked him for the smallest infractions.

But once the new law went into effect, Barry wouldn’t need a handler. He could finally take off the damn collar and breath freely again. He was considering quitting Argus, the danger of being penniless be damned.

That dream had lasted all of a few hours for Barry. Waller called him into her office soon after the news of the upcoming law change. She showed him photos of prisoners. Dozens of them. Some holding crude shivs, some looking like they could tear a person apart with their bare hands.

“Any one of these men would be quite happy to kill Henry Allen.” Waller explained; cool and confident. “We’d barely even have to offer to pay them.”

Then she showed Barry a photo of his father. It was the first Barry had seen in years. Henry looked old, Barry couldn’t help thinking. Old and worn and tired. He deserved rest and peace, not threats to his life.

Barry was somewhat surprised by the instant emotional connection he felt to the father he hadn’t even spoken to since he was 12. Barry had felt disconnected and purposeless for months, just going through the motions; hopeless and lost. Waller must have noticed. She must have realized threatening Iris wouldn’t work anymore.

Barry wasn’t even sure he could have gotten up enough emotion to care that much if she threatened Cisco and Caitlin; not compared to the prospect of finally being free. They were still friendly, but ever since Barry had killed Eddie, they’d started to look at him differently. It hadn’t helped they’d been punished harshly with the shock collars when they hadn’t been able to cure Barry’s scrambled brain fast enough. They didn’t hate him, Barry thought. But they’d started maintaining more and more distance between themselves and Barry. They blamed him for their own suffering, if only on a subconscious level, Barry thought. And they knew being close to him only put themselves at further risk.

Barry would still _care_ if they were in danger, of course. But it wouldn’t have been the same deep gut sorrow he felt looking at his father’s photo. His father, who had been the hero as the Flash that Barry could only pretend to be. His father, who’d always been innocent, and even knowing the truth about Eobard, was still rotting in jail because Barry couldn’t save him. Barry, who was working for the same organization that refused to lift even a finger to free Henry, even though they knew he was innocent.

“When Iris asks you to marry her, you will say _‘yes’_.” Waller decreed.

So Barry did.

\-------------------------------

“You’ve been dating the Flash for over a year and you two haven’t fucked?!”

The incredulous tone of Patty’s voice came over the comms directly into Barry’s ear. She obviously wasn’t talking to him. Someone must have turned the comms back on in the command center by mistake and it was picking up Patty and Iris’ conversation.

Or…someone had turned them back on on purpose, Barry considered as he looked at the cruelly smirking faces of the other Argus agents in the transport van. They were on their way back to base after a mission, and no one seemed in any hurry to turn off the comms or correct the ‘mistake’. Barry knew Waller was away. This wouldn’t be her doing. She wanted Barry and Iris to be on good terms. But plenty of other agents were jealous of Barry’s relationship with Iris or hated him for any myriad of unfair reasons. This would be just the kind of thing they’d do to hurt him.

“No. I’m not interested and Barry’s too much of a pushover to press for sex.”

Barry swallowed hard and his face heated up in embarrassment. It was almost comforting that he could still feel upset over something as mundane as being the subject of trash talk. He’d known about Iris’ distaste for him for a long time. The clear disgust in her voice didn’t surprise him. He hadn’t understood why she’d even wanted to date him, for a long time. Now, he suspected she’d done the entire relationship charade under Waller’s suggestion; so Iris could control Barry. Their upcoming marriage was just the next step. But being talked about like this, with all the agents in his team listening in…it still deeply bothered Barry.

“So you’re just…not into sex? Like at all?” Patty asked, pressing for clarification. “Because while he may be lacking in personality, that boy’s ass is _fine_! And he is a human vibrator!”

“Eww, _no_! If we _do_ ever have sex, like after we’re married maybe I’ll throw him a bone, there is _no way_ I’m turning off his collar to let him use his powers during sex!! That’s just disgusting! I don’t want to be reminded I’m with a filthy meta! I’ve got a nice human guy to see to my needs.”

The other agents were outright snickering at Barry while they listened to that. Barry wished he could disappear. He wished he could rip the damn collar off and run away, but it was locked tightly around his neck as always. His embarrassment and shame was turning to anger, but it had no outlet. There was nothing he could do but sit there and listen.

“Oh, so you’ve got a side piece? Who?! Does Barry know?” Patty asked.

“I’m not telling you who! Of course Barry doesn’t know! It’d break his poor pathetic heart! So you just keep quiet!” Iris snapped. “This marriage is important! Argus needs me to stay in control of Barry, and that only happens once this stupid law goes into effect if I’m his wife!

“He needs to believe I actually love him, at least long enough to say ‘I do’. Thankfully, the laws for divorce aren’t changing; metas can’t be the one to file. Once we’re married, there’s no way he can wiggle out of it. I can finally treat him like he deserves and zap his dumb ass with his collar. This past year, acting all nice to him, praising him, has made me sick!”

Barry was breathing heavily; his fists were clenched in his lap. If his collar hadn’t been dampening his powers, he would have been vibrating in mortification and fury. The last of Barry’s patience and tolerance for Iris ended with that overheard conversation, as the other agents laughed at him. The comm connection switched off a moment later, but the damage was done.

Barry had been resolved to his fate. He’d been willing to go through with this marriage without putting up a fight. But the fight had just been kicked back into him.

\---------------------------------

But just because Barry was willing to fight, didn’t mean he could win.

“Dude, she’s hot as hell, you grew up together, and she’s nice! What else do you want?!”

Cisco gaped in disbelief when Barry went to him for help. He refused to believe Iris’ affections weren’t genuine, saying Barry must have misunderstood the conversation he overheard.

“Girls bitch to each other about their guys.” Cisco went on, “They don’t mean it! It’s just talk! You can’t take that seriously! You’re just overanalyzing and having second thoughts since it’s almost your wedding day!

“Iris is _great_! You two are like the perfect example of a meta and human couple! Don’t doubt her over just one conversation heard out of context!”

Barry tried to convince him. He told him about other anti-meta things Iris had said and done. But Cisco wouldn’t listen. He told Cisco about the threats to his father in prison, and the past threats on Caitlin and Cisco himself.

“They’re just threats, Barry. Waller is scary, yeah. But I don’t believe she’d actually go through with that. Especially when the fate of the world isn’t exactly at stake. You’re not _that_ important to Argus, you know! We do have a lot of other meta agents!”

Barry did know about the other metas. He’d seen them around, but never really gotten a chance to interact with them. He never worked with other metas in the field. Argus thought it was safer to only assign one meta per team. But he knew there were other meta agents that worked there.

But Barry was the only speedster. After Thawne, they only had more reason to fear the possibilities of Barry having full control of his powers. He knew Waller’s threats weren’t empty. But he couldn’t manage to get Cisco to agree.

“Look, Barry, buddy!” Cisco sighed. “Even if I _did_ believe you, I can’t help you! When the new law goes into effect, I’ll finally have a chance at a real life! I’ll be able to move out of my family’s place, go collar free! I’ll be able to put up with Julian once he can’t electro-shock me every time we disagree. I _need_ this job!

“You’re my lab bro, Barry, you are! But I’m not risking my future just because you don’t want to get married!”

It hurt, but Barry wasn’t exactly surprised. Cisco and he might have been really close, under different circumstances. But under the strict meta laws and Argus’ iron grip, their friendship hadn’t moved past casual. Still, if Cisco had at least believed him, even if he hadn’t been willing to help, it would have been something. At least then Barry would have felt supported. Now, he felt worse than before he’d asked.

\---------------------------------

Caitlin was even worse.

“Barry….I know this is a touchy subject and we’ve never really talked about it before, but…have you ever considered we’re better off _with_ the collars and handlers?”

Barry gaped, not knowing what to say. No, he hadn’t ever considered that. The injustice and basic indecency of the handler and collar system had always felt obvious to him. That another meta was defending it…Barry didn’t even have the words for it.

“I know it’s not ideal.” Caitlin went on. “I know Argus isn’t perfect. But powers like ours, left unchecked….I think that’s worse.”

Barry still couldn’t manage to speak. He was just so shocked.

“I was engaged too, once.” Caitlin broke eye contact, seeming to look far away from the present. “Ronnie was a wonderful man. A human. A fellow scientist. After he proposed, my family offered him a copy of the remote to my collar. He refused. He trusted me. He didn’t believe in using the collars.

“So he was completely helpless when my powers reacted badly to another meta nearby. She…I…I’m not going to explain my powers. It’s too painful and frankly none of your business. But it’s not just control of the cold. It’s…She…I…I killed Ronnie that day. He froze to death, pleading me to stop and telling me how much he loved me. He died, because of me, because of my powers, because there was no handler close enough to shock me and stop me.”

“I’m so sorry, Caitlin.”

Barry wished he could help her. He wished she’d talked about this before and given him a chance to understand the science behind her powers. If all of them in the lab, maybe even Julian, had worked together, maybe they could have found a way for her to control her powers without the collar. But apparently she didn’t even want to consider that.

“Metas shouldn’t exist, Barry.” Caitlin spoke, again shocking him. “We’re genetic mistakes, freaks of nature, and dangers to the entire balance of the planet. The best we can do is to try and keep our powers in check as much as we can. The laws may not seem fair, but they’re for the best. This rollback is a mistake.”

Barry left without another word. He wished he could have helped Caitlin with her powers, and her guilt, and apparent self loathing. But there was nothing he could do.

\----------------------------------

“I’m sorry Mr. Allen, we can’t help you.”

Barry swallowed hard, his gut churning, his heart racing. This meeting had been such a risk, and so difficult to arrange. He’d had such hope…but for nothing.

“You help metas. It’s what you _do_.” He protested weakly.

“We try to, when we can.” Oliver Queen agreed. “But I know you’re not here looking at me as a politician. I know you, as the Flash, are aware of my night job.

“If you’re telling the truth, I’m truly sorry. But I just can’t risk my whole operation on it. It’s far too likely you’re an Argus spy. I’d be putting hundreds of innocent metas in danger by giving you access to what we do. I just can’t chance it.”

Barry felt like he might cry. He hadn’t cried in years. Some of that must have shown on his face.

“We are working to get more laws rolled back or rewritten.” Laurel Queen spoke up, gently. “If you can wait a few years, you may be able to file for divorce.”

Barry laughed, hollowly. He didn’t know if he could survive that long. But they weren’t exactly giving him a choice.

“I wish I had the time to look at your father’s case.” Laurel continued. “But I just don’t. I’m sorry. I’m working on cases that will hopefully help countless metas. I can’t afford to take the time to focus on one man, innocent hero or not.”

“I understand. Thank you for your time.”

Barry _did_ understand. He didn’t know why he’d bothered to hope. Oliver and Laurel weren’t his friends. His friends had turned him down. Why should he expect any more from strangers?

The Hood and the Siren might be heroes. But they weren’t _his_ heroes.

The Flash was Argus’ puppet. The Flash was a threat. The Flash was feared. He wondered if he was a villain. Maybe he was only getting what he deserved. He’d made so many mistakes. He’d hurt so many people. His father was the hero, not Barry.

If the cost for keeping his father alive was his freedom, maybe it was time for Barry to accept that. Barry felt the will to fight that had been reignited in him begin to fade out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is finally the wedding! That's actually where I originally envisioned this fic starting, lol. Then I realized flushing out the backstory properly would take quite awhile first. But I'm glad I ended up doing it this way, setting it all up has been interesting. And yes, Len finally shows up next chapter too ^_~


	4. Chapter 4

 

Barry’s wedding day came with him no closer to finding a way to avoid marrying Iris, without dooming his father. He’d become mostly resigned to it, like so much in his life. He wanted to fight, but at what cost? It was easier to suffer himself than know his actions would result in the death of his father.

Barry’s neck hurt. It was a minor problem, in the grand scheme of things. It was a minor problem in his life. But it still hurt.

That he couldn’t seem to stop focusing on that on his wedding day was a sign of…something. Barry wasn’t sure what. Mental deflection?

He’d dealt with the pain of constantly wearing a collar since he was 16; nearly an entire decade. He’d dealt with being shocked with it several times a day for years, since joining Argus. Why was it bothering him so much now?

Maybe because his real problems, like marrying a woman he didn’t love and who was disgusted by him, felt so huge it was safer for his brain to focus on something small. Maybe it was the prospect of being stuck in that collar for years more, after getting so close to being able to be rid of it.

There was no one there supporting him. No one telling him to keep fighting for what he really believed in. No one to tell him his father wouldn’t want this for him. Everyone close to him told him how wonderful marrying Iris would be. No one had ever encouraged Barry to strike out against the system on his own. Maybe he was the one that was wrong to want to. Maybe it was better if he just went along with it.

But his neck hurt. He wanted the collar off, so badly. But even on his wedding day, that wasn’t allowed. So he wore the blinking steel contraption tight around his neck, instead of a bow tie. He couldn’t button his shirt all the way to the top because the collar was there.

Barry sat on a bench in the hall outside the main area of the church where his wedding would soon take place. He looked down at the flower in his lapel. Yellow. He didn’t know why Iris had picked that color. But he didn’t like it. It made him think of the electricity that ran from his collar into his neck every time he was shocked. It made him think of the speedster suit that Eobard had worn when he killed Barry’s mother.

Around the wedding hall were yellow and red flowers. Barry’s speedster suit was red and yellow. His father’s Flash suit had been similar. But Barry still didn’t like the colors.

The lightning Barry created when he ran was blue. They weren’t sure why. It didn’t seem to be a reflection of his specific speed abilities. But Barry liked the color blue.

“Cheer up, mate! You look like you’re going to your funeral instead of your wedding!”

Barry looked up from his lone introspection to find Julian standing nearby.

“We’re not friends, Julian.” Barry huffed, frowning deeply. “I don’t even know why you’re here.”

“Iris invited me, of course. She invited pretty much all of Argus. I heard she’ll be getting a promotion soon. It would be remiss of me to not attend.”

Barry scowled more. Iris was being rewarded for making his life hell. Typical.

“But buck up, mate.” Julian spoke again, “You never know how things might work out. You might have an entirely different perspective by tomorrow.”

Julian winked at him and Barry glared more at the words. As if getting to share a bed with Iris would somehow make this all better! He honestly hoped she wouldn’t initiate sex, wedding night or not. He knew how she felt about him now, and he was disgusted by the prospect of being with her to match her own disgust toward him.

Julian walked away with a smirk on his face, leaving Barry to his thoughts.

\-----------------------------------------

Standing at the altar, watching Iris walk down the aisle toward him, Barry tired to imagine what that moment would feel like if they actually loved each other. Iris looked beautiful in her wedding dress, there was no denying that. She looked at him and smiled, and Barry’s heart clenched in anticipation.

Once, Barry had been in love with her. Or an image of her. He was no longer sure if the Iris he’d loved had ever existed. Not in this world, at least.

That smile wasn’t sweet and full of love. That smile was mocking and full of lust for power. This Iris wouldn’t beckon him to bed with a finger wiggle and excitement for shared pleasure that night. This Iris would look at him with disgust and finger the remote to his collar. That was who Barry was marrying, no matter what pretty fantasies he tried to conjure in his head.

Barry’s neck hurt. He forced himself to keep his hands folded in front of him and not scratch his neck.

Barry glanced at the rows of people in the church. Amanda Waller wasn’t there. She’d had business elsewhere. But she’d stopped in that morning to remind Barry of the consequences of not going through with the wedding. She’d shown him new photos of Henry. She’d even left him one, putting it in the inside pocket of Barry’s suit jacket. Barry felt it against his chest as his heart hammered against his ribs.

Barry wished the aisle were longer. He wished Iris would never make it all the way to the altar. He wished for something, anything, to happen and stop this. But nothing did.

Iris was soon next to Barry, far too soon. She was smiling that mocking, superior smile up at him. He forced a smile back. He didn’t even know why he put in the effort. Except maybe Iris would be kinder to him if she kept believing he really loved her.

They turned toward the priest and the vows began. The priest talked about love and commitment for quite awhile, and Barry tried to tune him out. Barry’s neck hurt and he let himself focus on that.

But he did hear when the priest reached the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ part. There was silence for a few moments, Barry heard his own rapid heartbeat, and wished someone would speak up. But he knew it was hopeless. He’d asked everyone he could to help him, and they’d all refused.

The priest finished waiting, looked back down at his lectern, and opened his mouth to continue the ceremony. Then a bright light momentarily blinded Barry. He blinked rapidly, reorienting his vision, and saw the book and the stand it was on were both frozen solid.

The priest stumbled back as frost chilled the air around the stand. There was an audible gasp from the audience behind them. From the back and left of the altar strode a man walking with cat-like confidence and pointing a glowing gun at them.

“That was close, almost missed my cue.” The man drawled. “Would hate to ruin a perfectly good entrance by being tardy.”  

Barry’s mouth hung open in shock. It was only by an extreme force of will he didn’t start laughing hysterically. He was so relieved! For a second that was all Barry felt; bone deep relief. Then the reality of who this was and what was happening caught up to him.

Barry was familiar with Captain Cold. He was unmistakable in his signature parka and goggles covering his eyes. They’d never met before, but Barry knew about him. He was human, hence why Argus never sent Barry after him. They preferred to only use the Flash for meta threats most of the time. But Captain Cold was well known among Argus.

Leonard Snart was a criminal genius and the mastermind behind a metahuman slave trafficking ring. It was the largest one of its kind, rivaled only by Amunet Black’s operation. That Snart had achieved that distinction while being a normal human going up against a metahuman earned him begrudging respect amongst Argus agents. He’d developed the cold gun he was known for himself, designing it specifically to counter meta-powers.

As much as Barry didn’t want to marry Iris, he also wasn’t thrilled with the prospect of being sold into slavery to the highest bidder, either. There were worse people to have to obey than Iris. There were worse places to be than Argus.

Barry didn’t have high enough Argus clearance to know the details about Snart’s slavery ring. But he could easily imagine the worst. Barry did have experience going up against Amunet. Being in her clutches was not a fate Barry would wish on any meta. She saw other metas as property, as dollar signs, not sparing them a moment of pity. She kept one man hung in chains for months, starving, and tortured him just so she could sell his tears. If Snart was anything like Amunet, Barry did not want to be his captive to find out.

But before Barry could make a move to do anything with that decision, Snart fired the cold gun toward him. Barry’s collar was still on, his powers were still mostly suppressed, there was no way he could get out of the way in time. Barry started shivering and looked down to find both his feet were covered in solid ice.

“Sorry sweetheart, looks like the groom’s got cold feet!” Snart chuckled at Iris, seeming delighted with himself.

“Barry, vibrate yourself out of there!” Iris yelled at Barry, as if he couldn’t have thought to do that himself.

“I’m trying! I don’t have my powers!”

“What?! I turned off your collar the second Cold walked out!” Iris looked down at the remote in her hand in confusion.

“I’m afraid your handling of the Flash is over, Ms. West.” Snart smirked. “We now have control of every meta collar in this room. We’ll be taking the scarlet speedster, as well as every meta here that’s worth their weight on the market. Everyone just stay cool, hand over any valuables on you, and no one gets hurt.”

As he spoke, more people walked in from every entrance to the church. Barry recognized some of them as Cold’s Rogues. Heat Wave was there, brandishing his heat gun. Snart’s sister, the Golden Glider, was there with her gun as well. Pied Piper, Boomerang, Weather Wizard, Trickster Junior, Peekaboo, and others Barry wasn’t as familiar with, surrounded the crowd. They were an eclectic mix of both humans and metas, all loyal to Cold.

“Oh, with one notable exception.” Cold amended his threat. “There is someone here that owes us more than pocket change and sparkly jewelry, and we plan to collect. Not every meta is fit for market.”

Barry watched, helpless, as Heat Wave and Glider moved toward the man Cold must have been referring to. It took Barry a moment, but he recognized Ralph Dibny. Barry had only spoken to the man a couple of times, but he knew about him.

Ralph had been a cop with Joe, one of the few metas to achieve that status, until getting fired for both tampering with evidence and sexually harassing prisoners. Argus had hired him, happy to use his powers for their gain, and open to looking the other way with his frequent misconduct toward prisoners.

Ralph wore a collar, like all metas under Argus employment. A collar new controlled by Cold’s Rogues.

“Remember me, Ralphie?” Glider asked, as she inched closer to him with her gun drawn.

“Now, now, Lisa, of course I do! We…we had some fun, right? No harm done, right? No hard feelings?”

“Of course not, Ralphie, no hard _feelings_ at all! Just a hard _body_!”

Glider shot her gun at Ralph, incasing his lower half in gold-like coating. The people near him got out of the way quickly. Ralph screamed and struggled, but he was stuck there, only his head and shoulders able to move. Without access to his powers, he couldn’t stretch and free himself.

“You remember how many times you touched me without permission while I was in that cell at the precinct, Ralphie?! All the times you oh-so-subtly snuck your stretched out hand to grope me, your long fingers to poke at me?” Lisa asked; her voice deadly. “All the things you said you’d do to me, once you got me alone? How many women didn’t have a big brother like mine to break them out before we got that ‘alone time’, huh?!”

“It was just a little touchy feely, Lisa! Come on! I never even took off your clothes! I never took it that far! It was just a little flirting, some teasing, a little joke, no one got hurt!”

“No one got _hurt_ , huh?! Fuck you, you disgusting waste of skin!”

Lisa quickly switched guns with Heat Wave, and then set Ralph’s head on fire. He screamed for several painful moments, but without his powers he couldn’t survive long under that onslaught of fire. Ralph’s screams died as the man himself lost his life.

“Hmm…smells like burnt rubber.” Heat Wave chuckled.

Lisa moved to burn the rest of Ralph, melting the coating from the gold gun under the extreme heat, along with the remains of Ralph’s body. Soon it had entirely dissolved into a puddle, which she continued to burn until there was nothing left but a stain on the floor of the church.

Barry winced and looked away. There would be no coming back from that. Ralph was good and gone. But he didn’t have much time to consider Ralph. Barry realized as he turned back toward the altar that Iris was no longer there. Cisco, who had been on Barry’s other side, was also gone.

“Looking for your bride and best man? Oh, they ran off _long_ ago, as did a few dozen other people not frozen to the spot by the show.”

Snart gestured to Barry’s still frozen feet and Barry shivered as if on cue.  

“But a smaller crowd is much easier to control, anyway. And we got what we came for. The stretchy-man is dead, and the Flash will start the biggest bidding war the meta market has ever known. Death and profit, a fine day’s haul!”

Barry opened his mouth to retort something, but was overcome with more shivering. With his powers repressed he didn’t know how long he could stay frozen without permanent damage.

“Don’t worry, you’ll heal. Damaged merchandise decreases value.” Cold commented. “But transporting conscience prisoners is far too risky. So you’ll feel a little pinch.”

Barry blinked not knowing what he meant, then felt someone come up behind him and stab a needle into his neck, hitting the small amount of skin the collar didn’t cover. Some sort of tranquilizer, clearly. As darkness overtook him, Barry’s last thought was that his neck hurt even more now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Len has arrived! Keep in mind that Barry's impressions of Len aren't necessarily accurate. But it might be awhile until Barry realizes that.


	5. Chapter 5

Barry woke up slowly, remembering the events of his interrupted wedding as he regained consciousness. As he opened his eyes, he was surprised to find he was in a warm, soft bed, with a thick pillow under his head, and several layers of blankets pulled up to his chin. He wasn’t restrained at all. He seemed to be in a normal room. He’d expected to wake up in chains, or in a cage, or a cell, or some other equally uncomfortable place. He pushed his shock aside to further examine himself.

He was wearing soft sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and tentatively moved his body to test for damage. His neck hurt from his collar, but otherwise he seemed fine. To his relief, his feet felt normal and he had no problem moving them and wiggling his toes. He had thick socks on, to his continued surprise. He pulled them off to double check his recently frozen feet. They looked perfectly fine, so he put the socks back on.

Barry let himself sigh in deep relief. He didn’t know what Cold and his Rogues had in store for him, but so far it was infinitely better than he would have guessed. He couldn’t let himself get comfortable, though, he reminded himself. They’d kidnapped him. They’d terrorized the wedding guests and burned Ralph to death in front of them.

Barry thought he should care more about that, but he found he couldn’t. Ralph hadn’t been his friend, and their few interactions had Barry not doubting he was the abusive asshole that Lisa Snart had claimed. At one point, a long time ago, Barry would have condemned the revenge killing of anyone, no matter how guilty. Now, after everything he’d seen and done with Argus, he just felt numb to it. He didn’t exactly approve, but he didn’t really care either.

Barry looked around the room he’d found himself in. It was simple and sparse, but fairly nice. Besides the bed, there was a nightstand nearby, a small table with two chairs, and a door leading into a bathroom. The bathroom light was on, shining enough to dimly light the main room. There were no windows. There was a lamp on the nightstand, so Barry turned it on. He blinked in further surprise to find several full, sealed water bottles on the stand, and the photo of his father that he’d had in his suit jacket pocket at the wedding.

He swallowed down the strong emotions seeing that photo brought up. He could only hope that Waller wouldn’t have his father killed since Barry had been kidnapped, not run away. She was a practical woman, and knew if they got Barry back, she’d be wasting a valuable asset for further threats if Henry were dead. At least, that was what Barry hoped.

Barry opened the drawers of the nightstand to find a few sets of clothes. The suit he’d been wearing wasn’t there. They all looked new, and were his size. Nothing else was hidden in the drawers.

Otherwise the room seemed bare. There was a closed door that likely led to a hall outside, but Barry didn’t feel like bothering to check it. Captain Cold wasn’t foolish enough to leave it unlocked, even if he didn’t expect Barry to be awake yet.

Barry realized he was thirsty, so he picked up a water bottle and turned the cap to break the seal. He had a moment of doubt, wondering if it might have been drugged and then resealed, but he pushed his worry away. If they wanted to drug him, there was no way he could stop them. If not via the water, they could just inject him again. He might as well not be thirsty, too.

He’d drunk about half the bottle when he heard the door to his room being unlocked. He felt an instant spike of fear, but tried to suppress it. Whatever happened, he would just have to deal with it somehow. There was no point in succumbing to fear.

In strode Captain Cold himself, closing and locking the door behind him. He didn’t have the parka on, opting for a simple black shirt and pants. But the goggles hung from his neck, and the cold gun was strapped to his thigh. Cold fingered the weapon, tapping a long finger against the metal gun, clearly intending to draw Barry’s attention to it.

“It should be obvious, but I’ll say it anyway.” Cold began, “Don’t try anything or I’ll be freezing some part of you again. Maybe something more _fragile_ than just feet. Your accelerated healing is impressive, but not infallible. I don’t want you damaged, but I won’t hesitate to take that risk if you force me to.”

Barry frowned deeply, but nodded. Not that different from Argus, really. They’d hurt him as much as they felt like, counted on his healing to fix the damage, and blamed him for the pain being ‘necessary’. 

“What do you want from me, Cold? Or should I call you Snart? Why are you here and not off negotiating for the highest price for me?”

“Len is fine, Barry.” He said, as if by using Barry’s first name he was challenging him to do the same. “As for the rest, these things take time. In the meanwhile, I do pride myself on maintaining my merchandise in the highest possible quality.”

Barry blinked, not understanding. Cold…Len…came closer and Barry instinctively shifted further back in the bed away from him. Len sighed and rolled his eyes.

“This is happening, one way or another. You can either sit still and cooperate, or I’ll freeze you down so you _can’t_ move until I’m done.”

Barry shivered in memory of his feet being frozen, even though it was perfectly warm still in the room. He had no idea what Cold was talking about, but he obeyed. He’d learned obeying was easier than struggling, unless what was being done was truly terrible, thanks to Argus.

While Barry watched, Len slipped a long thin metal tool out of his sleeve, and began to fiddle with Barry’s collar. He was tampering with Barry’s collar? Barry tensed more. What did he hope to accomplish? He already had control of the collar, as he’d demonstrated at the wedding. Was he going to up the voltage? Barry didn’t know if he could handle the electric shocks being more painful than they already were. Barry tried not to start panicking, using all of his willpower to stay still.

He considered fighting back. Maybe he could overpower Cold and grab the gun before he was shot. But then what? The other Rogues were surely nearby. Without access to his speed, there was no way he could get past all of them before one of them got the remote to his collar and started shocking him. Then they’d all be pissed at him and he’d only be worse off.

They were simple comforts, but he liked not being tied up, and the warm bed and soft clothes, and the available bottled water, and the access to a bathroom. He didn’t want to risk losing that for nothing. Maybe that was why Cold had given Barry such a nice set-up to begin with; so the threat of it being taken away for an attempted escape could keep Barry in line. Even knowing that and resenting Cold…Len…for it, it was still effective.

Barry couldn’t see what Len was doing. There were no mirrors in the main part of the room, just the one over the sink in the bathroom. But it seemed to be taking a long time. With every shift and click of the little tool working the mechanisms in his collar, Barry tensed expecting a painful shock. But none came.

Eventually, a louder click sounded from the collar and Len sighed in seeming satisfaction. Now, Barry thought, now the pain was going to come. But it didn’t. It took Barry several slow seconds until he realized what was actually happening. The collar was…looser?

Len had put the tool away and was using his hands on the collar, pulling it apart and…taking it off?!?! Len had picked the lock of the collar?! The collar’s dampening and shocking was controlled by the remote, but the lock needed an actual metal key to undo, so hacking the remote wouldn’t release it.

Barry stared at the collar now in Len’s hands and no longer on Barry’s neck, blinking in complete shock. The collar was off?!? Oh god, oh god, the collar was _off_!!!

Barry gasped in shock, his hands flying to his neck as realization set in. He felt his bare neck for the first time in nearly a decade. He ran his hands over the sore skin, whimpering as it hurt to touch, but he couldn’t stop. He was still in shock. The collar was off!!

Barry started crying, not even caring that Len saw. He hadn’t cried in ages, but he couldn’t help it. He hadn’t been without a collar in so long; he’d almost forgotten what it felt like! Collar tech was advanced enough they didn’t need to be removed for maintenance. Barry had worn that damn thing since he was 16. Len wasn’t saying anything and Barry couldn’t make out the man’s expression through his tears.

He didn’t understand why Len had taken it off, but he didn’t care. Maybe Len had another one, a more painful one, that he was about to put on in its place, but Barry didn’t care about that either in that moment. For precious long minutes, Barry could breathe without the weight of the collar on his neck. His skin still hurt, throbbed, as he touched it, but the metal of the collar no longer rubbed against it.

Barry felt Len’s hands returning to his neck, and he tensed, waiting for a new collar, though he couldn’t see one through his tears. But he just felt skin on skin. Len was rubbing Barry’s neck, surprisingly gently, his hands cold and soothing. There was some kind of lotion on Len’s hands that he was working into Barry’s sore skin, and it felt _amazing_! Barry leaned into the touch before he realized what he was doing. But he was too overcome with relief to feel much embarrassment.

As Len massaged his neck, the throbbing disappeared, the itching went away, and there was no collar there to bring it back a moment later. Barry felt almost high he was so happy with relief. The constant pain he’d endured for almost a decade thanks to that collar was gone! He didn’t even care if the lotion had some drug that was adding to Barry’s mood.

Len moved his hands away, apparently done, and Barry let out a little needy noise of disappointment. That _did_ manage to dent his euphoria with embarrassment. Barry wiped his tears and tried to pull himself together.

This was a monumental act of kindness, as far as Barry was concerned. But he’d still been kidnapped, he was still a prisoner, and he was still going to be sold into slavery. He sobered up quickly as he remembered that. But he still felt lighter than he had in years with the collar gone, for however long it lasted.

Barry looked up at Len in question. The Rogue’s expression was cool and unreadable, but not cruel or mocking.

“Special antibiotic and painkiller; made for your metabolism.” Len said, tapping a small container he’d set on the nightstand. “One dose should be enough. But apply more later if you need it.”

“Why?” Barry whispered, still a little in shock and awe.

“I told you.” Len smirked slightly. “I keep my merchandise in top condition.”

Barry frowned, sobering further at being called merchandise.

“So…the collar will go back on me, once I’m healed?” He asked, with trepidation.

“No need.” Len answered, surprising Barry again. “There are power dampening outlets installed in this room, as well as the rest of this compound. They’re much more practical than individual collars, considering all the metas I deal in.”

That…sounded like a lie. Turning on and off dampeners in any area would be much less effective than a collar on whatever meta they wanted to limit the powers of. And there was no way to shock them with the outlets instead of the collars. But Barry certainly wasn’t going to argue. If he could actually be collar free for a few days…weeks?...until he was sold, then Barry was going to relish every second of it.

A knock sounded at the door and Len got up and opened it. A large cart was rolled in, heaped with food. Barry’s stomach growled immediately at the smell. Heat Wave was pushing the cart and Barry blinked at the seeming absurdity of it. He guessed even super villain slave traders needed to eat. Maybe it would be easier to absorb if he just started thinking of them by their first names, like Len had seemed to encourage. Mick glanced at Barry and grunted, seemingly unimpressed, but didn’t say anything.

Barry had expected Mick to drop off a plate of food for Len, and maybe one for Barry if he was lucky, then continue on to drop off more food elsewhere. He had not expected Mick to move _all_ the containers of food onto the little table in the room. They barely fit! But Mick left them there, nodded at Len without a word, and rolled the now empty cart out.

Len sat at the table, fixed himself a plate, and began eating. Barry just blinked at him, drooling, and trying not to lick his lips. Len rolled his eyes and looked at Barry as if he was being very dense.

“Unless you’re going to attempt something supremely stupid like refusing food and starving yourself, come here and eat.”

“How…how much food am I allowed?” Barry whispered.

He was ashamed to ask, especially the way Len scowled at him after the question. But he was only allowed to eat a certain amount of real food, normally.

The West’s had only been able to afford so much. Once Barry made his own money, it wasn’t enough to splurge on huge meals either. And Argus considered it a waste to give him enough actual food to fill him up when he ate meals there. Whatever additional fuel he needed, he’d been expected to eat specially designed energy bars for metas with high metabolisms. They tasted horrible and weren’t at all satisfying. But they kept him from passing out from malnourishment.

“I know how your metabolism works. You remember what I said about keeping my merchandise in good condition? Eat as much as you want.” Len answered. “If this isn’t enough, Mick can bring more. But get on with it, before it gets cold.”

Barry swallowed hard, forcing back the tears that threatened to come again. Len _sounded_ cruel, but compared to how Barry had been treated for so long, Len’s actions were such an unexpected kindness!

Barry hurried to obey, jumping out of bed and taking a few steps before promptly falling on his face. His speed was unexpected. He’d overbalanced. His powers were much less dampened than they normally were. Not so much that he could reach anywhere near his top speed, but he could move noticeably faster than normal humans. Had Len done this on purpose or by mistake?

Barry stood up and looked at Len. He had his eyebrows raised and was fingering his cold gun, but didn’t say anything. Len knew, then. He knew and he was allowing Barry access to this much of his powers, if he behaved. Barry saw no good reason to make trouble. Not at the moment, anyway. So he took his seat and began to eat.

The spread was amazing, everything delicious and obviously home made. There was fresh salad with good Italian dressing, chicken marsala with gravy and mushrooms, mashed potatoes with garlic, and thick buttery bread. Barry didn’t bother to hide how much he enjoyed getting to eat all this real food, grinning and licking his lips between helpings. He almost forgot where he was until he was done and looked up to find Len smirking at him.

“Thank you. Tell the cook it was delicious. And…thank you for taking the collar off, too.”

Len’s expression showed clear surprise for a moment before it smoothed back to cool confidence. But it made Barry think he’d made the right decision to say that. He was a prisoner, and he was scared, and he hated the business that this man ran. But what would the point of raging against him about it be? After suffering at Argus for so long, Barry knew how to appreciate being treated decently.

“Mick will appreciate that. He does take pride in his cooking.” Len commented, ignoring the part about the collar.

Barry blinked, surprised to find that Heat Wave was the cook. But before he could think much about it, Len spoke again.

“I have a proposition for you, Barry. Now that you’re healing and full, I’m hoping you’ll have the sense to listen and consider it.”

“Ok. I’m listening.” Barry frowned in confusion.

“There are several prospects I am considering for your future. I’m not willing to discuss the exact details with you. But I have reason to believe your life up to this point has been rather difficult, and you don’t agree with many of Argus’ policies, and you may have been less than enthusiastic about your wedding.”

Barry inhaled sharply at how much Len apparently knew about him. Len was watching him closely, gauging his reaction.

“Now, don’t misunderstand.” Len cautioned. “This was not a rescue. You are not free, and I am no hero. I fully intend to get everything you’re worth, one way or another. But, depending on your actions, you may like the results more. You may find you end up somewhere much more… _agreeable_ than Argus, if you in turn are agreeable to your new arrangement.”

Barry’s heart hammered in his chest. He was a fool for hoping, but the feeling was there. If Barry’s life hadn’t been such hell for so long, if he hadn’t grown to hate Argus and found himself trapped there, if he’d had any real friends he could trust…maybe then he would have laughed and rejected whatever it was Len was offering. But Barry knew better than to turn this down without considering it, whatever _this_ was.

“Ok. I’m still listening.”

“First, you will not try to escape. Even with the dampeners around, I know it will be tempting. You’re a smart man, a scientist, resourceful, even without your powers. I know there are ways you will see to try and escape that will be very tempting. But if you do, any and all privileges I grant you will be revoked _permanently_. I’m sure you realize how much more unpleasant your stay here could be. Do not doubt I will make it _quite_ unpleasant for you if we have to recapture you.”

Barry nodded, licking his suddenly dry lips. Len didn’t mention what Barry would face if he _did_ escape successfully. But Barry was thinking about it, and he suspected Len knew that. Going back to Argus and Iris? Barry definitely didn’t want that.

Being on the run on his own, with no one to turn to? Barry was smart, but Argus was powerful and had connections everywhere. Even with full access to his powers once he got past the dampeners there, Barry wasn’t unstoppable. Barry had to slow down sometimes and he had to sleep. Argus had studied him for years. They knew his weaknesses. On his own, Barry didn’t have much chance fighting them for long. Argus would find him and he’d be much worse off than he was.

Here, at least Barry had a chance for something better, if there was even a grain of truth in what Len was saying. Argus had been looking for Cold’s Rogues for years and never found any of their bases.

“I…think I can do that.” Barry offered.

“Good.” Len smiled tightly. “But there is more.

“You’re worth more if you have better control of your powers. I know your training at Argus was stalled. I propose you restart it, here. Work with my people and learn more about your abilities. Not just going faster, but fine tuning what you’re capable of.

“We have a room set up that’s suitable for meta training, with no dampeners in it. So you would need to wear a collar during training. But it would be taken off afterward each time, and only be used if you tried to escape or harm my people.”

“Sure it would.” Barry couldn’t keep the disbelief and scorn out of his voice.

He’d heard _that_ before. This was suddenly sounding like just another Argus.

“If anyone shocks you or harms you, Barry, I will hear about it. You won’t even need to tell me. But you are welcome to come to me if anyone steps over the line. My people know how much you’re worth to me, Barry. They know how _angry_ I get when one of my valuable possessions is damaged. They know what happens when someone doesn’t follow my rules. If you listen to what I’ve told you, you _will_ be treated fairly as long as you’re with us.”

“And why should I believe you?!” Barry huffed, suddenly very tired and sick of it all.

“You have absolutely no reason to.” Len smiled, as if happy to see Barry could still get angry. “But you also have very few options. Refuse to train and you limit your own prospects. You could sit alone in this room until I decide what to do with you. Accept training and prove your obedience, and you may be given more freedom to move around here and interact with my people. You lose nothing by giving it a shot.”

“I get a collar around my neck again!” Barry spat.

“You do. But remember who took it off you in the first place.”

That simple truth stunned Barry into silence. He sat there, unsure what to say or do. His head felt heavy and his thoughts were swimming with everything he’d heard and gone through in such a short time. That morning he’d expected to wed Iris and enter a loveless marriage, stuck under Argus’ thumb…had it been that morning? He wasn’t sure. It felt like just that morning to Barry. Now he was here, with Captain Cold, and being offered a very enticing deal. But would it really prove to be any better, in the end?

“Take some time. Get some sleep. Maybe take a shower and relax. Think about it. I’ll be here with breakfast in the morning. After that, you can either start training or sit here and do nothing. It’s your choice.”

Len got up without another word and left. Barry listened to the lock slide into place behind him. Barry was scared and uncertain, trapped, and felt lost.

But his neck didn’t hurt.


	6. Chapter 6

Barry agreed to train, because of course he did. There was no point in sitting and sulking in that room. The more he learned about his powers, the better. If it was that bad, he could always refuse later. Len smirked at him when Barry told him. Barry might have found the smugness annoying. But he was too busy stuffing the pancakes, bacon, fruit, and coffee into his mouth that he’d been given for breakfast. Quantities enough to satisfy his metabolism again, too.

When he was done eating, Len gave him a new pair of sneakers and told him to change into some clothes from the drawers, then meet him outside the door in the hall. Len left and Barry did as ordered. Soon, he was following Len down the hall toward the training room.

Barry begrudgingly allowed Len to put a new collar on him before they entered the room. It was different than his government issued collar. It locked with a code, a sequence of numbers that Barry couldn’t see as Len input them, rather than a key. And it _didn’t hurt_. It was looser around his neck, and even had soft padding between the metal and his skin. Barry blinked in surprise and gratitude as he followed Len into the training room.

The ‘room’ ended up being as big as two gymnasiums and full of high tech equipment. Len introduced the two people that Barry would primarily be training with. One was the Pied Piper, Hartley Rathaway. The other was a woman Barry recognized from the attack on the wedding, but hadn’t heard of before. Her name was Felicity Kuttler, and she went by the Calculator.

“I thought the Calculator was a man.” Barry frowned, having vague memories of the famous cyber criminal.

“He was. He passed away a few years ago.” She answered. “He was my father, raised me alone the best he could when my mother died giving birth to me. I’ve taken to using his moniker as a tribute. But you can just call me Felicity.”

“First name basis is fine with me, too.” Hartley agreed, though he rolled his eyes as he did it and sounded annoyed.

They got right down to training, and Barry considered his new situation as he worked. Len stood and watched, saying little, but clearly paying close attention to everything going on. He occasionally fingered his cold gun, but it seemed more like restless fidgeting than a threat.

Both Felicity and Hartley were clearly brilliant scientists. They bantered back and forth with each other good naturedly, and Barry found himself almost wanting to join in. They were people he felt like he had interests in common with. But he held back. The situation was far too new and confusing for him.

Felicity was human, while Hartley was a meta. But Hartley wore no collar, despite the lack of dampeners in the room. And he didn’t seem submissive to Felicity, or even Len for that matter. Neither acted like a handler toward him.

Hartley was outright rude to Felicity a few times, and Felicity snapped at him. But no threats were made. No mention of him being a meta. No derision in her tone at all. No _fear_ , either. She didn’t seem afraid of what he could do with his powers in that room, uncollared and unhampered.

It was an interesting arrangement, certainly. Barry had never thought much about Cold’s Rogues before. He knew they kidnapped and sold metas, as well as pulled elaborate heists for money to fuel their organization. He also knew both humans and metas worked for Cold. He hadn’t really considered if the meta Rogues were treated as equals to the humans. He had just assumed they weren’t. Metas were treated poorly most places, why should a group that sold meta slaves treat them any better?

But then, Barry considered, all he knew about Cold and his Rogues was what he’d heard at Argus. He’d never even had access to the official file on them. Argus could be wrong, or hiding the facts. It wouldn’t surprise Barry.

But then again, Barry thought, it wasn’t good to get his hopes up. Everything Len had said to him pointed to Len selling Barry. No matter how much better the Rogues treated metas in their group than Argus did, Barry wasn’t a part of that. He was merchandise, as Len had so rudely put it. Barry wasn’t training for a new job. He was training so he’d be worth more when sold.

But even knowing that, Barry couldn’t help enjoying this. Training was actually _fun_ , like it had never been at Argus. Hartley and Felicity encouraged him to really push himself, to test the limits of his powers, and try new things with them. They let him take breaks whenever he got winded. They never mocked him. They never laughed at him, even when he failed at something. They never upped the dampener on his collar without warning. They never shocked him. They never even threatened to.

Len didn’t say much, but he never mocked or threatened Barry either. Not since the beginning, when he’d laid out what would happen if Barry tried to escape or attack anyone. But Barry didn’t, so Len never repeated the threat again.

Days passed that way, with no shocks and no threats. Then the days turned to weeks.

Every morning Len unlocked Barry’s door and took him to the training room. At the end of the day, he walked Barry back to his room.

Len stopped staying for the entire training session every time, though sometimes he stopped in and checked the progress. But Hartley, Felicity, or both were always there. Sometimes other people joined in; sometimes they sparred with Barry, both metas and humans with advanced weapons. But they never actually tried to hurt him. The few times someone did get injured accidentally, training was immediately halted and the wounded tended to. Metas or humans, both were treated with the same care. Barry didn’t comment, but he took note of it all.

Barry’s life was limited to the training room, his own room, and the hall between the two. He had no idea where he actually was and had no contact with the outside world. But he was never shocked, and he was never threatened. Some of the people that briefly participated in his training did look at him with disgust, but they concealed it quickly if anyone else was looking. And they didn’t say a word out of line.

Barry was given plenty to eat, and always good food. They even gave him energy bars to snack on that didn’t taste horrible. He was given a pack of cards and even some books to occupy himself with in his room. His days were more enjoyable than they had been in years. But he kept telling himself not to get comfortable.

He kept telling himself this was temporary, he was going to be sold. He kept telling himself that Hartley and Felicity weren’t his friends, even if they had laughed at some of his jokes and taken his suggestions about the training. He kept telling himself that Len wasn’t kind, even when he asked Barry if the new collar was irritating his neck at all and offered him more healing cream.

Barry kept telling himself these things. But no matter how much he told himself, he couldn’t stop the hope that was forming inside him.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Things couldn’t just keep going smoothly, of course.

The day had started out normal. It was early afternoon and Barry was taking a breather during training. Hartley suddenly got called away, which wasn’t unusual. But then Felicity was, too. Normally at least one of them was always in the room with him whenever Barry was there. It wasn’t a rule, as far as Barry knew. But he was used to their presence and felt fairly comfortable around them by then. Without them there, Barry suddenly got a bad feeling something might happen.

It didn’t right away. Shawna was chatting with Barry about music, and he was half listening. Shawna had proven to be quite friendly and open. They’d trained together a few times. Barry learning to try and anticipate where and when she would teleport; and she trying to best evade Barry’s speed. But then Shawna had to leave, too.

Barry swallowed nervously, realizing he was alone with three men that had all given him _looks_ before. They hadn’t outright said anything against Barry. But Barry knew when people looked down at him, when they narrowed their eyes at him suspiciously, or when disgust crept into their expressions. They weren’t paying attention to him at the moment, talking amongst themselves. They’d been there to run an obstacle course set up for humans. The three of them were human, of course.

Barry would have taken them for being anti-meta. But they didn’t seem to have a problem with other metas; just Barry. Barry had no idea why. But he’d learned the _why_ didn’t often matter as much as the harm someone could cause.

And considering they were standing by Felicity’s computer, where she kept the remote to Barry’s collar…they could do a lot of harm to Barry, indeed.

Barry considered flashing over there and grabbing the remote before they realized they were alone with him. But what if there was another one he didn’t know about hidden somewhere and they got one anyway? And what if they just ignored him and he was worried for nothing, and then Len found out he’d swiped the remote?

Barry realized then just how much he’d grown to like his life as it was. It was simple and he didn’t have much freedom. He wanted more, of course. But what he had he enjoyed, and he didn’t want to lose it. He never wanted to go back to the despair and hopelessness he’d felt when he thought he had to marry Iris. He didn’t want Len to think he’d made a mistake trusting Barry this much.

So Barry just stood and stared, unsure what to do. He glanced away from the men to the door, wishing someone, anyone, else would come in. He looked back to find the three men all looking straight at him. He tried to not show he was afraid. But he didn’t think he managed to hide it well. He forced his hands to stay at his sides and not touch his collar.

None of that really mattered though. Like Barry had known, _why_ didn’t really matter when someone wanted to hurt someone else. If they had a way to cause harm, they’d _find_ a why.

“Well, well, well, look what _we_ found.”

The man’s grin was so blatantly cruel that Barry flinched. The man, whose name was Louis…Stan and Dennis were the other two…not that their names mattered, Barry thought absently…Louis held up the remote to Barry’s collar and Barry’s stomach dropped.

Barry tried to run to do, something, he didn’t even know what. He just instinctively tried to get away from the pain he knew was coming. But Louis had already turned the dampener on Barry’s collar on. He couldn’t access his speed. Barry ran a few steps, then stopped, knowing it was useless. But they’d found their _why_ , easily enough.

“Will you look at that?! I think he’s trying to escape.” Louis was still grinning cruelly as he spoke.

“He is. I saw it, too! He was looking at the door and then tried running!” Dennis agreed.

“Looks like he needs a lesson, to me.” Stan snickered.

Louis pressed a button on the remote and even though Barry knew what was coming, there was nothing he could do. The strong electric current ran from the collar into Barry. Barry screamed, spasmed, and fell to the floor.

God, it hurt! It’d barely been a full month since he’d last been shocked, but he’d already gotten used to going through his day without this pain. Barry gasped, and shook, and kicked helplessly at the floor.

He was in pain, but he was also royally pissed. He hated feeling this helpless! He hated being taken advantage of like this! He hated the unfairness of it, the pure cruelty, and the pain that just kept coming wave after wave. He hated that he was going to be blamed for this. No one would believe he didn’t deserve it. No one was going to listen to him. Len would take away everything he’d given Barry.

But somehow, disappointing Len upset Barry even more. Len had been the first one to treat Barry with any sort of kindness in ages, even if he’d denied it was that. Len had been the first one to trust Barry in ages, even if he hadn’t said it. His actions had proven otherwise. Barry realized through the pain how much he wanted to make Len proud, even if Len would still sell him later. Now, these three assholes were taking that away from Barry.

Fueled by rage, Barry fought to steady himself against the onslaught of the electricity. He worked against the convulsions, gasping and flinching, but managed to get to his feet.

Stan shot him in the leg. Barry screamed and fell back to the floor. He hadn’t even seen Stan raise the gun; hadn’t considered he’d have one; he’d been too focused on trying to stand. Now his leg was in agony, spurting blood from the wound in his upper thigh. Barry tried to get his hands over the wound to apply pressure and stop the bleeding, but the electric shocks kept coming. He couldn’t stay still. He was going to pass out from blood lose while these idiots laughed at him, Barry thought.

“How fucking _dare_ you?!”

That voice…that was _Len’s_ voice!! Barry turned to find Len had entered the room, alone, and looking more furious than Barry had ever seen him. This was it then, Barry thought, Len was never going to forgive Barry for this. Len wasn’t wearing the cold gun, Barry noted. Maybe he’d just let Barry bleed to death instead of freezing him. He’d hardly think Barry was worth the trouble of keeping after this.

“That is _mine_!!” Len snarled, pointing to Barry and glaring daggers at Louis, Dennis, and Stan.

Barry was dazed from the pain, but had Len just said that?! Was he actually not blaming Barry for this!?

Louis stuttered, clearly shocked and afraid, and tossed the remote away. It crashed against something, and the shocks stopped. Barry sucked in air in huge gasps. He clasped his hands down on his thigh to stop the bleeding. His healing wasn’t working, his powers were still dampened. But at least the shocks had stopped.

“Look, boss, I know you think the Flash is valuable, but you’re making a mistake!” Louis stammered.

“Yeah, yeah, he was trying to escape!” Dennis piped up.

“Oh, _really_? So when I play back the video from the cameras in this room, that’s what I’ll see?” Len asked, derision obvious in his voice.

Barry actually smiled a little at that. Len had cameras in there. Of course he did.

“It doesn’t matter what he was doing!!” Stan snapped. “He’s Argus scum! He’ll betray us all sooner or later! It’s just a matter of time!”

That was why they hated Barry so much then.

“Yeah, look Cold…” Louis added, “We put up with working with metas. But we draw the line at Argus assholes! Former, or whatever, Argus is still Argus! We want out!”

Dennis and Stan nodded, the three men all agreeing.

“Oh, well, if you’re out, you’re out.” Len drawled in a seemingly careless tone.

Then Len drew a gun from his back and shot all three men dead.

Stan he got first, a perfect shot between the eyes and out the back of the head with a gush of blood and brains. Louis raised his gun, but he dropped it when Len shot straight through his hand before Louis could get a shot off. A shot to the side of Louis’ head followed, with more blood and brain splatter. Dennis was running, so he got three shots; first taking out both knees, then the final one to the head while he screamed on the ground.

Barry just blinked at all the blood and the lifeless bodies on the floor. Len was a pretty amazing shot. Barry was in shock and still losing blood himself. But somehow he suddenly found the entire thing funny. Those men had thought they could do anything they wanted to Barry and get away with it. Barry had thought that, too. But Len _hadn’t_. Len thought Barry was worth more than _all three_ of them. Barry started laughing and couldn’t stop.

“Please tell me you didn’t hit your head, too.”

Barry forced himself to stop laughing and look at Len, who was watching him warily.

“No. Just shot and shocked silly. Nothing my powers can’t heal.”

Len had gotten the remote from the floor, looked at it, and swore. He threw it back on the floor in anger.

“Fucking thing is broken.” Len snarled.

Barry swallowed. That wasn’t good. Blood was still seeping from between his fingers over the wound. If he couldn’t heal…

Then Len was crouching next to Barry, rapidly pressing the buttons on Barry’s collar, and the collar was unlocked. Len ripped the collar off and threw it on the floor next to the remote. Barry blinked at the discarded collar as his powers kicked in.

There were no dampeners in the room. Len had just taken off Barry’s collar and thrown it away, not caring if it broke in the process. Barry was shot, and so not as much of a threat as he could have been. But he still could have used his arms at this close range and killed Len before Len could even move to draw his gun. Len knew that. Len didn’t even have the cold gun.

Len trusted Barry that much.


	7. Chapter 7

Len insisted that Barry take a full two days to recover before returning to training, which really was entirely unnecessary. Barry was fully recovered by the next morning, thanks to Len turning down the dampeners in Barry’s room so far that they were practically off all night.

Barry enjoyed the training. He liked being active. Sitting around in his room for two days doing practically nothing wasn’t appealing to him. He told Len as much, when Len visited him for breakfast the morning after the incident. Len smirked at him, as if pleased Barry had the guts to argue with him.

“The break isn’t just for you.” Len conceded. “I need to look into some things before I’m willing to let you train again. Specifically, if it was just a coincidence that you were left alone with those three men, or if it was by design. If it was planned, I need to find out who else was involved.”

That sobered Barry. He hadn’t even considered it might have been planned. He was so used to having to take abuse, that it hadn’t occurred to him that someone might have to make a plan for it to happen now. But it meant a lot to Barry that Len cared enough to take it so seriously. Even if it was because he didn’t want his merchandise damaged again.

“Alright.” Barry sighed, accepting it. “Are there any more books I can have? Or maybe a crossword puzzle or something?”

Len snorted in amusement. Barry tried to not focus too much on how happy hearing the sound made him and knowing he was the cause.

“I’ll see what I can find. I’ll stop back in at lunch with something.” Len agreed. “In the meantime, don’t be surprised if you get a few other visitors. Felicity, Hartley, and Shawna were worried about you.”

Barry was surprised to hear that. Both that they were worried and that they might visit him in his room. He was relieved the three of them were apparently above suspicion, though.

Len got up to leave, and Barry hesitated. He wasn’t sure if Len wanted his input. Wouldn’t he have asked, if he did? Len hadn’t reacted badly yet to Barry having an opinion. But this was different. This was about Len’s people. Barry had learned Len was very loyal to those he considered his people, since Barry had been there. But Len _had_ shot dead three of them, without hesitation, for hurting Barry. Len clearly didn’t take betrayal well. And what if Barry was wrong? Well, he considered, Len wouldn’t do anything just on Barry’s word, right?

“Len, you…” Barry started, hesitated, then continued, “If you want, I can make a list of the people that have….seemed…hostile…to me. If you want.”

“People here have been _hostile_ toward you, and you didn’t tell me before this?” Len narrowed his eyes at Barry; his voice had a dangerous edge.

“I mean, not directly!” Barry swallowed nervously. “No one has outright said or done anything before. But just…sometimes the way I’m looked at…or just a feeling…it’s not proof of anything! I’m not saying it is! But it’s just…somewhere for you to start, I guess…if you want.”

“Alright. Make your list. I’ll take it when I come back for lunch.”

Len turned on his heel and left. He wasn’t happy, clearly. Barry wasn’t sure he’d made the right choice or not, but it was done. Hopefully Len wouldn’t hold it against him.

\----------------------------------

Hartley and Felicity visited Barry soon after breakfast. Barry knew it was foolish to trust the two of them, or to start considering them his friends. But somehow he still found himself doing exactly that.

Felicity was obvious in her concern and genuine in her apologies for leaving Barry alone with those men. Hartley wasn’t obvious and his apology felt forced, but it still seemed sincere to Barry. Hartley just wasn’t the best at saying things like that out loud, Barry thought.

Barry had been spending so much time with the two of them, he felt like he was really getting to know them. They were honest in a way that Cisco and Caitlin and the others in the lab at Argus had never been. It wasn’t that they never lied or hid things from Barry. But it was like they were still somehow really being _themselves_ with him. Like they weren’t afraid to be who they really were there. It was so unlike the iron fist that Argus seemed to hold over all its employees, especially metas, keeping them timid and afraid to misstep. Most of Len’s Rogues seemed to genuinely want to be there and be happy to work for him.

Hartley and Felicity didn’t stay long, as they had work to do, but Barry felt better after seeing them. Maybe it was time to stop fighting his own instincts, Barry considered. Maybe these people would betray him in time, too. Maybe Len would sell him to someone horrible and Barry would have to resent and hate Len. But for now, Barry was here, and he was being treated fairly. Barry could almost be happy. He might as well enjoy it while it lasted.

Soon after the two of them left, Shawna stopped by. She was even more apologetic.

“I should have known better! I knew what jerks those guys were! I never should have left you there! I didn’t even have somewhere that important to be! I just…I didn’t even remember you still had to wear a collar! I’m really sorry, Barry!”

“It’s not your fault.” Barry assured her.

“I should’ve noticed both Hartley and Felicity were gone! I was the last one there; I should have stayed with you!” She continued, “But I’m glad you’re alright, and you don’t blame me. I got enough of that already. I’d forgotten just how scary Cold can be when he’s truly pissed.”

“He…” Barry swallowed hard, suddenly worried, “He didn’t…Len didn’t hurt you, over this, did he?”

“Oh no, no way! He glared that icy stare at me, and lectured me in that cold controlled voice. But he’d never lay a finger on me! He knows it was a mistake and I’m loyal to him. He knows what the Rogues mean to me. I screwed up, and he let me know it. But he’ll forgive me after awhile.”

Barry nodded, sighing in relief. Shawna had never worn a collar in Barry’s presence. Len clearly trusted her. Barry wanted to believe Len was only harsh with people that really deserved it. But he didn’t know if that was true, or his own wishful thinking.

And there was still the whole meta slave trader thing. Barry didn’t know what to make of that. He hadn’t heard talk of anyone being bought or sold since he’d been there. He wanted to believe it wasn’t true. He wanted to believe it’d been Argus’ misinformation or a cover for something else. But even Barry wasn’t sure if he could afford _that_ much wishful thinking.

“Len will tell you he’s not a good person.” Shawna spoke up, almost as if she could read Barry’s mind. “That might be true, depending on who you ask. Good is subjective, if you ask me. Len has been _good to me_. He’s treated me right, respected me, every day since I first met him. Even when I do something stupid, even when I fuck up, Len still does right by me.

“I can’t…You fit in here so well, that I forget how new you are.” Shawna continued, “I can’t make that mistake again. There’s stuff I can’t talk to you about yet. But just…just hang in there, alright? Don’t give up just because of those three assholes.”

“Don’t worry.” Barry grinned; feeling reassured more, “I’ve been beaten down before. I’m still getting back up. But this time…this time it’s _them_ that aren’t getting back up. And that’s thanks to Len. I won’t forget that.”

\----------------------------------------------

Len came back at lunch, as promised. He took the list of people that Barry had written without comment. He brought a stack of new books, and a new proposition.

“Your training has been going well. However, I’m considering adding a new aspect to it.”

Barry raised his eyebrows in question as he ate his third turkey sandwich.

“You’ll still train your powers every morning, as you have been. But in the afternoons, it’s time we started training your mind. Oh, I know you have a full education. You’re quite proficient in science. But I’m talking about other skills. Skills like strategic planning, analyzing risk versus reward, judging people and situations and reacting according. Possibly some other things, depending on how it goes.”

“Ok.” Barry answered, intrigued, while taking a second bag of potato chips. “And who will be teaching me all this?”

“ _I_ will.”

Barry tried to ignore the excited twist his stomach gave at that news. Spending more time one on one with Len shouldn’t sound so appealing to him, maybe, but it did.

Len spent the rest of the afternoon, as well as dinner and a few hours afterward, with Barry. They went over so much information that Barry’s head was spinning a bit. But at least he wasn’t bored.

When Len did leave for the night, he left blueprints, security schedules, and supply lists for a museum strewn all over the table. He’d tasked Barry with planning how to hypothetically break into this museum, choose what to steal, and how to get out without getting caught. All with the rule that Barry’s powers couldn’t be a factor.

It was an interesting puzzle and Barry didn’t mind trying to solve it. But his mind kept drifting back to Len himself. Barry had known Len was intelligent, but the more time he spent with him, the more Barry saw the clear evidence of it. Barry kept finding himself wanting to impress Len. He wanted to prove Len right for thinking Barry was suitable to this…but what even _was_ this?

Was Len training Barry to be a thief? To sell him to a thief? To join Len’s Rogues?

Barry could steal things, maybe. He might enjoy that. He didn’t care about the legality of stealing things. The legal system had screwed him so much; he saw the appeal of screwing it back. But he couldn’t steal _people_. He couldn’t participate in meta slave trafficking. If that was really what Len’s group did, that was a line Barry couldn’t cross.

Barry wanted to ask, but Len didn’t seem ready to answer. So Barry held back. He didn’t want to break this spell. He wanted to keep learning new things. He wanted to keep spending time with Len.

In time, Barry would find out what Len had planned for him. For now, Barry would play along.

\--------------------------

“I couldn’t find any evidence of anyone planning to attack you.” Len told him, after the two days break had passed. “I think it likely was just a bad coincidence those three took advantage of.”

That was it, apparently. Len offered nothing more. He said nothing of the list of people Barry had given him. He offered no assurances it wouldn’t happen again. Barry’s stomach dropped in disappointment, but he steeled himself against it. He wasn’t one of Len’s people, he reminded himself, as much as he might wish he was. Len might treat him better than Argus had, he might have plans for him, or he might just be making Barry the most profitable piece of merchandise he could be.

Len watched him closely for several long moments, as if waiting for something, but Barry didn’t know what to say or do. Finally Len lead him to the training room for the morning.

They went through the door together; going from the hall where power dampeners were imbedded in the walls, to the room where Barry was free to access his powers…and suddenly Barry realized Len hadn’t put a collar on him.

Barry spun around in shock, staring wide-eyed at Len. Len sighed and shook his head.

“You really need to work on hiding your reactions. If I’d forgotten to put your collar on, you just totally gave it away.”

“Wait, what?! You didn’t forget?! What does that mean?! I wasn’t…I wasn’t _trying_ to hide my reaction!” Barry half shouted in frustration.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to be blamed if you forgot to collar me!” 

“Why would I blame _you_ , if _I_ forgot to collar you?” Len countered.

“Why _wouldn’t_ you?! It’s always my fault! _Everything_ is always my fault!” Barry was frustrated and confused and it came out in his words.

“Have I ever blamed you for anything unfairly?” Len asked.

“I…you…No. No, _you_ never have.” Barry admitted, immediately feeling bad for blowing up at Len.

“I’m not Argus, Barry. _We’re_ not Argus. I know that’s not exactly easy to adapt to. Especially because I know what’s happening to you here doesn’t make much sense. I know you have questions you’re not asking. I appreciate that, because you’re right, I’m not ready to answer them.

“But at the same time, as I’ve told you from the beginning, I don’t want you harmed. If you can’t trust anything else here, Barry, believe that. I will listen to and address anything that endangers you.

“I’m not going to blame you for something that isn’t your fault. I’m not going to leave you alone with anyone on that list you gave me. I’m not going to make you wear a collar anymore.”

“What?” Barry’s voice was small and confused, frightened to hope, but hoping none the less.

“You’re safer without one in here while you train. Everywhere else will still have the dampeners, of course. But no one can shock you anymore. You’re no more vulnerable here than anyone else without powers.

“I know you could escape, if you really wanted to. I know you could cause a lot of damage here, hurt a lot of people, if you really wanted to. I’m trusting you’re smart enough to know that’s not in your best interest.”

“Ok….ok,” Barry repeated, stronger the second time. “I’ll try not to disappoint you.”

“Good.” Len smirked, seemingly genuinely pleased, and sending Barry’s heart racing. “So back to my initial point....I didn’t mention the collar decision to see how you’d react if I just didn’t put one on you. You could have pretended to not notice. You could have tried to take advantage of the situation. If you had, I might have changed my mind.”

“But instead of saying that, you goaded me by acting like I _should_ have tried to hide it, so I’d admit why I didn’t.” Barry guessed.   

“Concealing reactions _is_ a useful skill.” Len countered. “But one better to not be used on _me_.”

Barry laughed and Len actually smiled back. It was brief, but it looked genuine. Maybe having hope had been the right choice, after all.

\---------------------------------------

“Can I ask you for something? Just one question?” Barry spoke up hesitantly later that evening.

He was alone in his room with Len. They’d just been finishing up going over Barry’s hypothetical heist plans for the museum. Barry had done fairly well with them, Len had said, for a first timer. Len had seemed happy and Barry had guessed there wasn’t going to be a better time to try asking.

“You can _ask_.” Len responded; hesitation also in his voice. “I may or may not choose to answer.”

“My father…” Barry began, picking up the photo that had sat on the nightstand since he’d gotten there. “Can you…can you find out if he’s still alive? If he’s alright? Argus kept threatening him to get me to stay in line. I’ve been hoping…hoping that since it wasn’t my fault you took me, they’ll leave him alone. But I just…I just want to know, either way.”

Len raised his eyebrows, clearly startled that was what Barry chose to ask, among all the possibilities. Then Len’s expression softened.

“He’s fine. As fine as he can be, anyway, in Iron Heights.” Len answered; his voice surprisingly gentle, continuing to explain, “I have a few contacts in the Heights. They keep me up to date on everything major that goes on there. I would have heard if anything happened to the senior Flash.”

Barry inhaled sharply, suddenly choked up with relief. He hadn’t expected an answer that quickly. Len could be lying, of course. That was always a possibility. But Barry didn’t think he was. What would be the point? Much easier to just say he didn’t know, or couldn’t find out. If he’d been like Argus, he could have even taken that incentive to threaten Barry’s father himself. But he didn’t.

Barry’s trust toward Len was growing, day by day. That Len had chosen to answer so readily only endeared him to Barry more. Even if Len was still unwilling to trust Barry with his plans for Barry himself, this small bit of information still meant the world to Barry. It also mattered the way Len had responded when he’d said it.

Len had looked at Barry as if Barry actually mattered to him as more than just merchandise, even if just for a moment. Even if it was just a second’s crack in that cold façade, Len had actually looked concerned on behalf of Barry’s feelings, not just Barry’s physical well being. That wasn’t how you looked at someone you saw as something you planned to sell. Len had never really treated Barry that way, even from the beginning. He’d talked big about what Barry was worth to him, but he’d always been more kind than he’d needed to.

Barry felt hope swell in his chest and he had the insane momentary urge to hug Len. He shoved the impulse down. But the hope remained, and Barry finally fully let it.


	8. Chapter 8

It was early evening. Barry had had dinner, and Len had left after approving of Barry’s latest hypothetical heist plans and giving him a new assignment. It was a little over a week since Len had started giving Barry these personal lessons. Barry still wasn’t sure of the point of it all. But he knew he enjoyed it.

It was fun to exercise his mind with a challenge. Argus had discouraged Barry from thinking about anything beyond the specific issue the lab was working on on any given day. Len encouraged Barry to solve all manner of puzzles and scenarios.

Barry had found he liked spending time one on one with Len, too. The more they were together, the more the man seemed to get comfortable with Barry and slowly drop his cold persona. Len was sparse with praise, but when he did give it; it was genuine. He challenged Barry to push himself mentally, but he was never cruel when Barry made a mistake. Barry found himself wanting more and more to please Len, to see those rare smiles of satisfaction cross Len’s face when Barry did something particularly clever.

That night, Len had left Barry with a list of twenty fictional people and short biographies of each. Barry was tasked with getting information about the company they worked for without them realizing it, by choosing five to approach in casual conversation. He was to report back to Len which five he thought he could get the information from, why, when, and how.

Subterfuge like this was definitely not Barry’s forte. It’d never come naturally to him. He was glad it was only a hypothetical situation and not something he had to actually do. But he _had_ gotten at least passable at hiding his real feelings and intentions thanks to all the abuse he’d had to take at Argus. Getting to turn that into something useful might be nice, depending on what all this training was actually for in the end.

For the time being, Barry just focused on the problem at hand. It was a good distraction from worrying about the bigger picture. He jotted down notes and wrote out possible lists.

Then the lights went out.

Barry blinked, startled and unsure what to do. There were no windows in his room, or anywhere in the complex he’d been for that matter. He’d suspected the entire structure might be underground. For a few moments, he just sat still in complete darkness. Then dimmer lights flickered on, clearly emergency power.

Barry’s first thought was that it was indeed an emergency. Then a second later that it might be a test. He stayed in his seat, unmoving and listening. But no noises came from the hall. No one opened his door. He wasn’t sure what to do.

Curious, he tested his powers, vibrating his hand in front of him. No limit to his speed, as he’d suspected. The dampeners were apparently off along with the main power.

For a few brief seconds the thought of easily escaping crossed his mind, but he just as quickly dismissed it. Where would he go? What would he do? He had no one and nowhere to go to. Besides that, Barry admitted to himself that he’d grown attached to Len and his Rogues. He was curious what Len had planned and what part he wanted Barry to play. Barry didn’t want to run away with no answers.

Len had given Barry a clock, so he wouldn’t lose track of time and stay up too late. It ran on batteries and Barry watched as fifteen minutes ticked away, then twenty. There were still no sounds from the hall. Barry could vibrate through the door and look out into the hall, just to check. But if this _was_ a test, that seemed like the wrong choice. If something was actually wrong, surely Barry would hear some sign of it, then he could go try and help. But still there was only silence.

Sighing and shrugging, Barry decided to just try and sleep. He lay down in his bed and tried to relax. But he couldn’t stop worrying. Eventually, he dozed off into a restless sleep.

He was awoken by crying. Barry blinked, still laying in bed and sure he’d dreamed the sound. He stayed still for a few seconds, then heard it again. It seemed to be coming from right outside his door. The power was still off, only the dim emergency lights on in the room, Barry noted. The crying continued.

Barry couldn’t just ignore it, so he got up and walked to his door. Still half asleep, he grabbed the knob and pulled it open. Only afterward did he jump slightly, realizing with surprise that his door had been unlocked. The lock must have been powered by the same electricity as the main lights and meta-power dampeners.

It seemed very unlike Len to not have all those hooked up to back-ups, if he kept prisoners there. _Did_ he keep prisoners there, besides Barry? Barry wasn’t sure, to be honest. He’d never seen or met any. All the metas he’d trained with had been part of Len’s Rogues, not slaves to be sold.

The implications of that; the idea that all he’d heard about Len’s Rogues being slave traders might be lies, ran through Barry’s head for not the first time. But he didn’t have long to ponder it, as he looked down the hallway and saw the cause of the noise.

A little girl sat on the floor a short distance down the hall. She had light brown hair, but her face was hidden. Her legs were pulled tight against her body, hugged by her arms, and her head was against her knees. Every few seconds she shook with sobs. Barry didn’t have much experience with children, but he guessed she couldn’t be more than ten years old at the most.

Barry glanced up and down the hall, but saw no one else. The hall was dimly lit the same as his room, with only emergency lights shining every few feet. But he still would have been able to see if anyone else was nearby. Barry listened, but heard nothing else besides the girl. No one seemed to be hurrying down the hallway to get her, or yelling out to find where she’d gone. 

Barry slowly walked toward the girl, not wanting to startle or scare her. He stopped once he was about a foot away from her, and slowly sat down next to her. He was far enough away he hoped she would feel safe. She didn’t seem to notice him still, so he offered a soft, “hello.”

She jumped, and Barry winced. But he resisted the urge to reach out for her. He wouldn’t touch her until she gave a sign it was alright to. It just seemed the right thing to do. She looked up at him with wide teary eyes and wet cheeks. Barry’s heart instantly went out to her.

“I….I…I didn’t _mean_ to!!!” She sobbed, surprising Barry with the volume of her voice no matter how small she was. “It was a _mistake_! I _said_ I was sorry!! But Hartley yelled and was so mean!! He said I wasn’t being careful! But I _was_!! It was just a mistake!! I want my necklace! I want Mama and Zaza and I want my _necklace_!! But Hartley said ‘no no, you don’t need it!’ I _do_!! I want my necklace!”

Barry swallowed hard, feeling overwhelmed. He didn’t know what necklace she was talking about, or who her Mama or Zaza were, or what he was supposed to do here. But he tried to latch on to what he _did_ know.

“I’m sorry Hartley was mean.” Barry tried. “He’s mean to me sometimes, too. But I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t like me. I think he’s my friend. But sometimes he just gets upset and forgets to be nice with his words. I don’t think he’d ever really hurt me on purpose.”

The girl’s crying slowly lessened. She’d obviously heard Barry and was considering it.

“How about you?” Barry tried to ask, continuing. “Do you think Hartley is your friend? Do you think he’d hurt you on purpose?”

Barry didn’t want to believe Hartley capable of hurting a child. But at the same time, there was still so much about the Rogues he didn’t understand.

“No…I…I don’t think he’d hurt me on purpose.” The girl admitted after awhile. “I do think he’s my friend…sort of. He’s Mama’s friend, for sure. But she says he’s not too good with kids. But she said she’d kick his butt if he didn’t try to be nice to me!”

She smiled at the memory of her mother’s words, and Barry smiled too. He was relieved at that confirmation that Hartley was as Barry had hoped.

“Maybe he made a mistake too, then.” Barry offered. “You apologized already, so it’s his turn. We could go look for him, so he could…”

Barry trailed off as the girl clearly started to become more upset again at the prospect of seeing Hartley. It made Barry guess she might have run away from him and gotten lost. Someone must be looking for her. The power outage likely made the search difficult. But Barry hoped someone would be along for her soon.

“I want Mama and Zaza and my necklace!” She repeated with a sob.

“I don’t…I don’t know where your necklace is, sweetheart, I’m sorry.” Barry tried, hurrying to add, “But I bet your mama and Zaza are looking for you right now! They’ll probably be along soon. Why don’t we just stay here and wait for them?”

The girl looked around at the empty hall, and from the expression on her face she seemed to hate the idea. Barry admitted it wasn’t the best suggestion. The hall was chilly, the floor was hard cement and not comfortable to sit on, and there was no sign of anyone joining them anytime soon.

“Or we could go in my room to wait for them.” Barry offered. “I have paper and markers. We could do some drawing.”

“I like drawing!” She perked up instantly at the offer.

Barry got up and offered his hand to her. He wasn’t sure if this was the best idea, for him. He still wasn’t sure of his position with these people. Would they object to him being alone in his room with this girl? He’d leave the door open and ask for help from the first Rogue that passed. But still, it could look bad. But Barry couldn’t just leave the girl alone either. It was a risk he had to take.

As the girl stood up, Barry saw she had a plush doll with her. It’d been hidden; hugged tightly to her body and covered by her legs. But now Barry got a look at it. It was obviously handmade of soft fabric. It had on a little shirt, pants, shoes…and a fluffy hooded parka. It had a little yarn smile, and tiny goggles over its eyes. Someone had made this girl a Captain Cold doll, and she was clutching it tightly for comfort. Clearly the doll… and therefore _Len_ …was important to her.

Barry swallowed hard. He refused to let his mind start spinning wondering who this girl’s parents were. For now, he just had to keep her entertained until someone trustworthy found them.

“I’m Barry.” He belatedly remembered to introduce himself.

“I’m Erin.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Erin.” Barry responded honestly as she took his hand and they moved toward his room. “What do you want to draw first?”

It turned out mostly Erin wanted _Barry_ to draw things, so she could color them. Thankfully, Barry had a lot of paper and markers for his planning for Len. So Barry was happy enough to oblige. After a few tries, he even got pretty good at drawing a cartoony Captain Cold, to her delight.

She made her Cold doll dance and clap when Barry drew something she really liked. It was adorable; both because of Erin herself, and because Barry imagined the real Len dancing like that. Barry couldn’t help smiling widely at the sight every time. Erin was smiling more, having fun, and Barry was starting to enjoy himself too.

Without realizing it, he started using his speed a little to draw faster. He froze, noticing Erin was looking at him with wide eyes.

“Are you a meta?”

Barry winced. He considered lying. If she knew he was a meta, she’d be afraid of him, he thought. They’d been getting along so well and he didn’t want to screw it up. But it didn’t feel right to lie to her.

“I am.”

“Me _too_!” She smiled wider than she had before at anything Barry had done, sending his heart racing. “Is that how you know Hartley?! Do you train with him too?! Do you make mistakes and he says mean things then too?!”

“Uhm…yes, yes to all that.” Barry answered, confused. “But you…you’re so young! Meta powers don’t start until you’re older….I mean, I believe you! I’m just surprised!”

“I’m _eight_!” She said, as it were an old age. “But I’m an early bloomer, Mama says. I got my powers when I was four. That’s why I have to train all the time. I have to get better at using them. But it’s _hard_! I didn’t _mean_ to make the lights go out! It was a _mistake_! I said I was sorry!!”

Barry’s mind was reeling with this information. Early power bloomers in metas were extremely rare, especially as young as four! But it wasn’t his place to question her more about her powers. Talking about it clearly upset her. It did at least explain why the power was off, and maybe why the emergency generator wasn’t working on the locks either. Uncontrolled powers might have affected both. Meta powers could be unpredictable that way, especially in such a young person. Barry tried to be reassuring for Erin’s sake. Keeping her calm seemed the most important thing, for the moment.

“I believe you! I forgive you! I bet Hartley will too, once he calms down. He always forgives me when I make mistakes too.” Barry tried, adding, “And your mama will kick his butt if he doesn’t, right?”

“Yeah, she will!” Erin brightened again and Barry breathed a sigh of relief.

The two of them colored for awhile longer, and Barry started to worry he might run out of paper before anyone turned up. But thankfully before that happened, he heard a familiar voice worriedly calling for Erin out in the hall.

“Mama!” Erin excitedly jumped up from her chair and ran into the hall.

Barry followed, smiling as he watched Erin leap into Felicity’s arms. Felicity was clearly relieved; clutching the little girl closely and holding back tears. Erin was repeating her apologies again, not holding back her own tears.

Barry slowly approached the reunited mother and daughter, trying to appear nonthreatening. He hoped Felicity knew he’d never harm a child. But he didn’t want to underestimate a mother’s protective instincts, either. When Felicity looked up at Barry, all he saw on her face was relief and gratitude. No fear or accusation toward Barry at all. Barry breathed a sigh of relief, too.

“Hey, you don’t want to forget this guy!” Barry smiled at Erin, offering her the Captain Cold doll she’d left in his room.

“Thanks, Barry!” Erin sniffed between happy tears, grabbing her doll.

Felicity looked like she was about to say something, when approaching footsteps sounded from the hall. Felicity frowned and turned toward the sound, still holding Erin close. Clearly she wasn’t expecting anyone to be following her. Barry tensed to match her obvious concern.

“Well, well, well, isn’t this heartwarming?!” A woman Barry had never seen before smirked cruelly as she walked toward them.

The woman was obviously a meta. She held what looked to be two leather whips in her hands, but the whips buzzed and sparked with electricity.

“Leslie!” Felicity gasped; hurriedly take a few steps back. “Just relax, ok? Lisa and Leonard aren’t far behind me. They’ll be here soon. If you just…”

“Bullshit!” The woman snapped, cracking one of the whips against the floor as she spoke, sending sparks flying. “ _No_ one is right behind you! You all split up, to look for your precious little princess! And I see you found her, congratulations! She gets to die in the arms of her mother, small comfort for you both.”

Barry scowled deeply as Erin started sobbing and buried her face against Felicity’s shoulder. Possibilities sped through Barry’s mind. He had to take this woman out, obviously. But how would her electric-based powers react to his own powers? Would the lightning he produced risk making her more powerful, or just be ineffective? Could he grab her and disarm her without getting shocked himself in the process? How should he do it to make sure Erin and Felicity weren’t harmed? Barry had been shocked by a collar enough times he had developed a decent amount of wariness toward electricity used as a weapon, and he had no idea what this woman was capable of.

“Look, I don’t know who you are or what your problem is.” Barry tried talking to get Leslie’s attention on him and away from Erin. “But if you have to try and hurt someone, give me a shot! There’s no reason to go after a little girl!”

“She _is_ my problem!” Leslie snarled. “Things were good here before that little bitch showed up! The Rogues were the best thieves around! We took everything we wanted and never got caught! We just needed a few more big scores, and then we could have all retired as millionaires! But now Cold’s willing to risk _every_ thing for that little bitch! If she dies, things will go back to the way they used to be!

“And lucky me, thanks to her powers fucking up our computer systems tonight I’ve got the perfect excuse! Poor little bitch princess was trying to fix her mistake, opened up a circuit box to try and get the power back on, and oops got electrocuted. Her mom found her, tried to grab her, and got fried to death, too. Too bad, so sad!”

“Len will _never_ fall for that!” Felicity snapped.

“Oh, he’ll have so much to worry about while he’s relocating his entire operation that he won’t have _time_ to suspect anything! Or did I forget to mention that I made sure the power generator mysteriously didn’t manage to secure the cell locks? All the metas he couldn’t manage deals for have likely escaped by now. The Rogues will have a day, maybe only hours, before this place’s location is common knowledge on the street.

“By the time we get everyone settled safely somewhere else, the little bitch and her mother will be long dead. Cold will move on. Back to running things how he _should_!”

Felicity started saying something in response, but Barry didn’t wait to hear what it was. A cold hard rage had settled over him as he listening to this woman talk. She was planning to electrocute a _child_ just because she didn’t agree with how Len ran things! Barry was so appalled and enraged he stopped worrying about how best to disarm this woman safely. He stopped trying to plan the best course of action and just let his instincts, anger, and training take over.

Barry ran toward Leslie as fast as his unhindered speed allowed him to. He easily dodged her whips, as well as the electric current sparking up her arms. He grabbed her head, twisted, and snapped her neck. She fell, seemingly in slow motion, and Barry watched as her electricity snapped out along with her life.

Before her body hit the ground, Barry had sped down the hall, opened a door to find an empty room, and come back to grab her. He sped her lifeless body into the room and closed the door. Erin wouldn’t have to see anything besides a blur.

“It’s ok. She’s gone. She can’t hurt you.” Barry explained as he finally returned to normal speed.

Erin kept crying, clearly too scared to stop, but she did seem to calm down a bit as she looked around to find Leslie gone. Felicity looked at Barry gratefully, not asking any details in front of her daughter.

Barry had killed before, for Argus. He regretted a lot of those times. This time, all he regretted was not doing it more quickly so Erin wouldn’t have had to hear Leslie’s threats.

\-----------------------------

Things moved quickly after that, even for Barry. Felicity told him to take anything he wanted to keep from his room, he grabbed his father’s photo and a few other items, and then he followed Felicity to a section of the base he’d never been before. Dozens of people were gathering there. Barry recognized a lot of them from his training with the Rogues, but not all.

Felicity kept Erin in her arms, even when Lisa Snart noticed them and ran toward them. Lisa hugged both Felicity and Erin, as Erin happily yelled, “Zaza!!” in greeting. Barry guessed Felicity and Lisa were a couple from that, just a split second before they kissed. The tender feelings between the two of them were obvious, as was their love for Erin. Lisa fussed over Erin, visibly relieved to see her unharmed. Barry was glad to see Erin had people that so clearly cared about her.

Barry hadn’t suspected Lisa and Felicity were close at all before that; he’d never seen them interact before. But then, he hadn’t had a clue Felicity had a daughter, either. It hurt, at bit, to realize that. It drove home how much the Rogues had kept Barry in the dark about. He’d considered Felicity a friend, or something very close to one. But she’d obviously not trusted him enough to share this personal information with him.

Barry did his best to put his feelings aside; there wasn’t time to dwell. At least no one lashed out at him for killing Leslie, as Felicity quickly explained what’d happened. A few Rogues didn’t look exactly happy about it, but no one said anything against his actions. They were all too busy trying to organize their move from that base.

As Leslie had claimed, metas had escaped. Metas they clearly trusted even less than Barry. The Rogues were all rushing around with tasks to get ready to leave and never return. There was talk of Mick burning the place behind them.

Barry wished he could get Len, or Felicity, or Hartley alone for a moment so he could ask what he was supposed to do. His speed could help. But they all seemed so busy, and he didn’t want to press the issue. What if his speaking up made them remember they didn’t trust him and got him back in a collar, or a cage, for the move?

Finally, after what felt like hours of standing around awkwardly not knowing what to do, Len approached Barry. He pulled Barry aside into a relatively private hallway.

“This isn’t how I planned for this to happen.” Len scowled deeply, his face stamped with regret. “If Leslie hadn’t interfered, Erin’s powers, even uncontrolled, wouldn’t have caused this much damage. But it can’t be helped now. We had to throw away the plan, and it puts a lot in precarious positions.

“First, I want to thank you, Barry. You saved Erin and Felicity even though you had no idea what Leslie was capable of. You were kind to Erin when you didn’t have to be. That means a lot, both to me and to others of my Rogues. We won’t forget that.”

Barry swallowed hard. Len had never said thank you to him before.

“You were kind to me when you didn’t have to be, too.” Barry offered.

“Debatable,” Len countered. “I’ve always wanted something from you in return. I had hoped to eventually explain to you exactly what I want from you, but we’ve run out of time. You can’t come with us.”

Barry’s heart clenched at those words. Pure shock and pain ripped through him as the meaning sunk in. Len was abandoning him?! Barry tried to remind himself that Len had _kidnapped_ him, that he’d been Len’s prisoner. But that didn’t seem to matter to his heart.

Barry wanted to stay with Len. He wanted to know Len’s plans for him. He wanted to understand Len better. He wanted to have a chance to get to know Erin and find out who had made her a Captain Cold doll. He wanted to know how Lisa and Felicity got together. He wanted to keep working with Hartley and Felicity. He wanted to ask Mick to teach him to cook. He wanted to ask Shawna about her favorite band’s new album due out next week. He wanted to ask Axel about the toys he’d almost completed designs for. What was he supposed to do on his own?!

He’d told himself, over and over, not to get attached to these people! He’d known they couldn’t care about him the way he was beginning to care for them. Barry beat himself up mentally. Despite everything he’d been through in his life, he still couldn’t manage to stop his rebellious heart from developing feelings he was better off without.

“You _can_ meet us later.” Len continued, relief flooding Barry and letting him breathe again at those words. “If you choose to.”

Len was watching Barry closely, studying his expression, no doubt gauging his reaction. Barry didn’t try to hide his feelings. He didn’t want to lose this. He let it show how much he wanted to remain a part of all this, even if he’d still be hurt in the end. He wanted more time to try and understand Len and the Rogues, and find out if there was a place for Barry among them.

“Argus is still looking for you.” Len explained. “If you use your speed outside this base, it’ll register immediately on their sensors and they’ll have your location. Even if you don’t use your speed, if they see you on any of the cameras they have access to, they will come for you. They want you back, badly.

“If they see any of my Rogues with you, they will attack without hesitation. I can’t risk that confrontation, not now, not in public. If they see us without you, they’ll only follow and we’ll have a chance to lose them as we have been since we captured you.

“On your own, there’s a chance you can evade notice. If you want to go it on your own and never see us again, this is your chance. If you want to go back to Argus, nothing is stopping you. Or, if you chose to, you can meet me in a week at a certain location. That will give me enough time to set up a secure route to get you to our new base.

“I had ID made for you. I had hoped to have you dye your hair. No time for that now. You can wear glasses and a hat, at least.”

Len handed Barry the ID. Barry blinked at an image of himself with photo-edited blonde hair and thick glasses. His name was printed as Sebastian Smyth. But the thing that struck him most was that he was listed as a _free meta_ , no handler required. Barry had been with the Rogues long enough that the new laws had gone through, and Len had chosen to let Barry go collar and handler free.

It just proved again to Barry that Len was far more kind than Argus and the people there. If Len had been planning to give Barry this, Len couldn’t have been planning to really sell him, right? There was still so much that Barry didn’t understand. But this showed Barry he hadn’t been wrong to trust Len. This reassured Barry he hadn’t been a fool for starting to bond with the Rogues. This gave Barry renewed hope he might have a future with them yet.

“This is a map of where we are now, and where a bar called _Saints and Sinners_ is. Memorize it.” Len instructed; handing Barry a map with the locations marked. “The map will be burned with the rest of this place when we leave.”

Barry forced himself to focus on the map and do as Len instructed. Sorting through the rest of his feelings would have to wait.

“I’ll be at that bar in a week’s time; next Friday at 11:30pm.” Len continued, “You’ll have until midnight to join me. If you don’t show, you won’t find me, or any of my Rogues, again anytime soon. We won’t look for you. We won’t try and capture you again. The choice is yours.

“If you _do_ join me, Barry, you’ll really be _joining_ me. You won’t have to hold back your questions anymore or wonder about your place with us. You’ll officially be one of my Rogues.”


	9. Chapter 9

Barry moved through the farmers’ market with his head down, thick glasses covering his eyes, and his baseball cap pulled down to shade as much of his face as possible. It was far from a perfect disguise, but it was the best he could do.

The cap was for the _Combines_ hockey team, and Len had given it to Barry. It had been Len’s own hat, as he was a fan of the team, and so Barry felt foolishly attached to it. Along with that and the ID, Len had also given Barry a backpack with a supply of clothes, money, and as many of the snack bars made for his metabolism as they had on hand. But it hadn’t been enough that Barry could avoid needing more food while he was on his own, in hiding, for a full week.

Barry thought the farmers’ market was the safest place to shop that he could find. He’d gotten food from some stores earlier in the week, but he’d known that’d been risky. Stores had security cameras. Argus had access to most, if not all, security cameras around the country. The farmers’ market was in the parking lot of an old movie theater, long abandoned. There were no cameras around that Barry could see.

He still had to be careful. People with cell phones took random photos and videos all the time. Argus had access to those, too. So Barry wore the cap, and glasses, and kept his head down. Barry had dyed his hair blonde the first chance he got. He didn’t like the look, but at least he matched his ID now. He resisted the constant temptation to use his speed. He tried to appear relaxed and blend in.

Barry had kept moving as much as he could since he’d left the Rogues’ base. He spent some time in a warehouse, a night in a vacant apartment, slept briefly in a broken down car someone had abandoned, and rested at various other places. He felt far too afraid of discovery to stay put in one place for very long. He dreaded Argus finding him and forcing him back to work for them again.

It was precarious balance between doing enough to keep himself safe, and resisting imagining Argus agents lurking behind every corner. It was especially dangerous to let himself become too afraid and risk using his powers by accident. Barry wasn’t sure how sensitive Argus’ equipment was, but he didn’t want to take the chance. Even a little unconscious vibration due to anxiety could be enough to set off Argus’ sensors and find Barry’s location.

As Barry tried to stay hidden as the days went by, it became more and more plain to him how much he wanted to be with the Rogues. He didn’t like being on his own, no matter how free he might be. He wanted the support of people he cared about around him. He wasn’t sure if the Rogues were the best choice of people for that. But they were the closest he had.

He didn’t understand their group, really. He didn’t know what their real goals were. But he felt fairly confident it wasn’t truly slave trafficking. And Len had said he would explain it, if Barry joined them. Barry wanted that, more than anything, he realized. He wanted to be a part of something bigger than himself. The Rogues might be just what he needed.

He missed many of them, but especially Len. He didn’t know what Len’s plans were for him; initially, or now that he’d been forced to alter them. But that didn’t change how much Barry missed Len.

With Len, at least Barry had the hope that his plans might actually be for the best for Barry in the end. With Argus, there’d been no doubt they didn’t give a damn about Barry’s well-being. On his own, Barry knew no one was watching his back. He still didn’t entirely trust Len. But Barry trusted him more than anyone else he knew, Barry realized.

So Barry made the decision to meet Len, at the bar at the end of the week, within hours of leaving the base. But he still had a long week on his own to hide and worry in the mean time. The days dragged and Barry was constantly anxious. But thankfully he saw no real signs of Argus. No one seemed to notice him as anything other than a passing stranger.

It was finally Friday and he was due to meet Len late that evening. Barry knew were the bar was. He’d walked past it the day before to be sure. But he hadn’t wanted to go inside early and risk raising suspicions. He didn’t know if Len knew someone that worked there, or if it was merely a convenient meeting place.

Barry was browsing the farmers’ market for something for breakfast and counting down the hours until he could see Len again. He was excited to finally have answers to his questions and better understand the Rogues. But he also just simply wanted to be near Len again.

Nearly ready to buy some freshly made cheese, Barry caught a glimpse of someone familiar out of the corner of his eye. Barry froze, wasting precious seconds standing still in shock. Then he quickly set down the cheese wedge, ducked his head, and hurried in the opposite direction. Not running; he couldn’t let himself run and attract attention, even at normal human speed. But he walked as fast as he thought could seem normal for a person in a hurry.

But it proved to be pointless. Barry made it only a few feet before he felt a hand grab his upper arm and pull him back. Barry’s stomach felt like it’d caved in and he might be sick.

“Barry!” the man hissed, thankfully not loud enough for anyone else to hear.

Up close, Barry saw for certain it was exactly who he’d feared it was; Julian, with a death grip on Barry’s arm. It had been months since Barry had seen him, but he looked the same. This close, Barry knew there was almost no chance Julian wasn’t certain it was Barry, too. But still, Barry drew on everything Len had taught him to respond. He tried to calm his racing heart, forced himself to not use his speed, and acted like he had never seen this man before in his life.

“Who?” Barry asked, frowning in what he hoped looked like annoyance and not fear.

“Where have you been?! Did you escape?! Why haven’t you come back to Argus?! Did those bastards brainwash you already?! Or are they threatening you? Well, no matter now. I’ve got you.” Julian rambled quickly, completely ignoring Barry’s response. “Iris is worried sick about you!! We all are! Come with me and you’ll be safely home tonight!”

“I don’t know who you are, or what you’re talking about!” Barry hissed, careful to not make a scene in public. “But get your hand off me, right now!”

Barry tried to jerk out of Julian’s grip, but Julian held on firmly.

“Relax, Barry! I don’t know what those disgusting Rogues and that Cold bastard did to fuck with your head, but we’ll fix it! Just come with me, and we’ll have you right as rain again in no time! Once you see Iris, your love, it’ll come back to you! You’ll be married and in bed with her by the end of the week! I promise!”

That was more than Barry could take. The thought of being close to Iris again sent a full body shiver of disgust and dread through him.

Still careful to not use his powers, Barry drew on other parts of his training. He grabbed Julian’s wrist and twisted it to escape the man’s grip. In the process he pulled Julian’s arm back at a painful angle. Julian gasped, went to one knee, and Barry heard the bones in Julian’s wrist snap. Barry wished he could snap Julian’s neck instead, but he still couldn’t risk using his powers or making a scene in public.

Julian whimpered in clear pain, still down on one knee, but didn’t cry out for help. Barry wondered at that. Barry didn’t want to drawn attention to them for obvious reasons, but why didn’t Julian use the people nearby to his advantage? He could yell for help, get a crowd to gather, and possibly trap Barry. But he didn’t. It didn’t matter why, Barry decided quickly. There was no time to guess as Julian’s motives. Barry had to put as much distance between him and Julian as he could, without using his speed. So he left the man on the ground clutching at his broken wrist, and hurried away.

\----------------------------------

It was 11:45pm and Barry was watching _Saints and Sinners_ from across the street. He’d planned to be at the bar before the scheduled meeting time of 11:30, but that was before his run in with Julian. Since then, he’d been looking behind him every few seconds and hoping against hope that he hadn’t been followed. He hadn’t seen any sign of Julian since Barry had left him on the ground at the farmers’ market. But could he trust he’d lost him for certain?

Barry had still gotten to the bar ahead of time, but he’d been too worried to go in. What if he was being followed and he led Argus right to Len? He didn’t want to put Len in danger.

Barry had watched as Len arrived and went inside the bar, wanting nothing more than to run in after him and plaster himself to Len’s side. But instead Barry waited and kept watch. Surely, if Argus knew Barry was there, they should have done something by now? Barry had been waiting across the street for over twenty minutes. It’d been hours and hours since Julian had seen him at the farmers’ market. Argus was rarely patient.

Barry wished he could know for sure he hadn’t been followed. But there was nothing he could do besides risk it, and trust Len could take care of himself if anything happened. Leaving without meeting Len was out of the question, for Barry. He wasn’t going to give up what he wanted because of Argus ever again, Barry decided.

And Barry wanted Len. He wanted to be beside Len, in whatever way he could be. He wanted to be one of Len’s Rogues, whatever that meant. Barry could only hope it was as good a fit for him as it felt like it would be, once he found out the details. But he couldn’t leave without knowing first. Barry was sure of that much. He couldn’t let Len disappear without any answers. He couldn’t stand possibly never seeing Len again. He couldn’t live with the thought that Len would believe Barry hadn’t wanted to be with him.

So Barry crossed the street, still glancing around to be sure no one else was nearby as he did. It seemed quiet and empty out in that neighborhood. He went into the bar with ten minutes to spare, breathing more easily the second his eyes fell on Len, still there. Len was playing pool, and Barry resisted the urge to beeline right toward him.

Len looked up and made eye contact with Barry. Len’s face showed only a cool smirk, but Barry thought he might have seen relief in Len’s eyes. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on Barry’s part.

With a lot of effort, Barry tore his gaze away from Len and went to order a beer at the bar. It would do nothing for him with his metabolism, of course. But it would keep up appearances.

He sipped the drink and waited at the bar, trying not to turn to watch Len play pool. He wasn’t sure how Len wanted to play this. Was Barry supposed to approach him and admit they knew each other? He hoped if he waited, Len would take the lead.

Before long, Barry’s patience paid off. Len joined him at the bar, putting his arm around Barry’s shoulders and pulling Barry close. Barry was momentarily overwhelmed by the smell of Len; cool mint with a hint of lavender. Barry couldn’t help but feel reassured with Len pressed against his side, even as Barry’s heart raced at the contact.

“Bastian!” Len purred, using a shortening of Barry’s fake ID name. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to make it.”

“I…I got held up.” Barry responded, not sure of how much to say in public. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Well, you’re here now, and all _mine_ , that’s the important thing.” Len drawled.

Len was doing very distracting things with his fingers against Barry’s arm. Maybe it was just lightly tapping, but with Len’s fingers it was almost hypnotizing. Was it supposed to seem like Len was flirting with Barry? Was he putting on a show for the bartender, or was someone else watching? Barry couldn’t be sure. But he certainly wasn’t going to do anything to make Len stop.

Len ordered food, Barry nodding along to the suggestion of cheeseburgers and fries, and then directed Barry to a booth toward the back of the bar. The entire time, Len kept his arm possessively draped around Barry’s shoulders, and their sides close enough they were constantly touching. Barry tried not to focus on how good it felt to be held like that. Barry felt the loss of the physical contact as soon as Len let go and they sat to face each other in the booth.

Len eyed Barry, studying him as he often did. Barry wondered just how much his expression, even as he tried to play it cool, gave away to Len. He had to tell Len about Julian. But was it safe to do it at the bar, even in a secluded booth, or should he wait until they left?

Barry couldn’t wait, he decided. He couldn’t risk endangering Len’s operation on the chance Argus was following him. But he could try and be safely vague, in case anyone was listening, Barry thought.

“I…ran into someone from…my old job.” Barry started, knowing Len would catch on.

“Oh?” Len asked, his expression revealing nothing.

“Yeah, I…I don’t think…I mean, I _hope_ I won’t see them again. But I can’t…I can’t be _sure._ ”

Len stared straight at Barry, and Barry kept eye contact back. Barry tried to convey silently how sorry he was to endanger Len and the Rogues, how worried he was, and how much he trusted Len. Len absently played with the salt shaker on the table, running it back and forth between his hands, clearly considering what Barry had said.

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Len said finally. “We just have time for a meal before our transportation arrives, then we’ll be off. If you are coming with me, that is. You _are_ taking me up on my offer, yes?”

“Yes, of course! That’s why I’m here!” Barry hurried to answer.

“We’ll talk more once we get to our destination, then.” Len nodded. “Just enjoy the food and try to relax. Things are back on track and moving according to plan.”

Barry sighed in relief and grinned. He tried to listen. The food arrived soon and it was pretty good, for a bar at least. But he couldn’t manage to slow his racing heart. Finally, finally soon he’d have some answers!

\-----------------------------

When they were done eating Len paid the tab with a nice tip, then lead Barry out the back door of the bar. Waiting there was a small van that they quickly piled into. Mick was driving, with Lisa waiting for them in the back. She scanned Barry for bugs, finding nothing to his relief. Barry noted the van itself was equipped with anti-tracking technology. Len picked up his cold gun from the floor of the van and strapped it to his thigh. He clearly hadn’t wanted to draw attention to himself by bringing it into the bar, but he was cautious enough about the trip that he put it on now. They quickly settled into their seats, then they were off.

Barry hastily told Len the details about meeting Julian at the market. Len nodded, listening, but didn’t seem concerned. He assured Barry they wouldn’t be followed. He also assured Barry that all of his Rogues had safely made the move to the new base, when Barry asked. But he told Barry to wait for more questions until they got there and got settled, so Barry lapsed into silence. But it wasn’t uncomfortable. They all seemed alert and ready if anything happened, but not overly tense or worried. Barry found himself relaxing somewhat, following their lead.

He briefly considered asking Lisa how Erin was doing, but wasn’t sure if that would be crossing a line of familiarity too soon. Before long, he hoped, the Rogues would begin to see him as one of them. Then he could ask more personal questions.

They made no attempt to hide their route from Barry as they traveled. He could see out the windows in front over Mick’s shoulder, even though the back was windowless so no one could easily see Barry and the others. They drove for over an hour, but Barry knew they hadn’t taken the straightest path. They drove a good way away from the city, using roads through forested area that looked rarely traveled.

When they reached their destination, Barry saw it was an old hotel; looking abandoned and in disrepair from the outside. It had been quite awhile since he’d seen any houses or stores. The hotel seemed to be far away from everything on purpose; mainly originally to give visitors a sense of getting away from it all, or a chance to hike in the nearby woods.

Five stories tall, the hotel wasn’t huge, but it would still offer plenty of space. There was a gate to an attached underground parking garage, chained up and locked. It looked rusted as if it hadn’t been open in years. But a moment later, Axel and Mark appeared and quickly unlocked it, pulling the chains away and opening the gate. Mick drove the van inside, as Axel and Mark relocked the gate, returning it to appear untouched.

“As far as our safe houses go, this is one of the more comfortable ones,” Len commented. “It’s enough off the beaten track no one notices if lights are on at night. And if they do, they assume its harmless squatters, not a complex criminal organization.”

Barry nodded, taking note of the dozens of vehicles in the parking garage as Mick pulled into a space. The Rogues weren’t lacking in transportation options now, apparently.

“You can relax here, Barry.” Len continued. “After what happened at our last base, I’ve reorganized somewhat. Not all my Rogues are here, and there are no meta captives here. I’ve only brought the people I really trust here. The others have split off into a few other safe houses, and will join us on jobs as needed. But they won’t come here; they don’t know this place exists. The only people in this hotel are people I know I can count on to be loyal to me. I’m counting _you_ among that number, Barry.

“You’ll have choices here. You don’t need to listen to me without question; you can ask whatever you want. You’ll be free to disagree with me. But if you _betray_ me….I’d like to think we’re beyond the point I need to make threats. But understand; if you betray my trust at this point, you won’t just find your life is more unpleasant. If you betray me now, I will see you _dead_.”

Barry swallowed hard as Len’s words sunk in. Len fingered the cold gun strapped to his thigh as he issued the threat. Len seemed to really want to trust Barry, but still felt the need to be careful. In a way, it made Barry feel better. It was like they were on more equal ground. They both wanted to trust the other, but weren’t quite there yet. Still, Barry was flattered Len trusted him this far. He could have taken Barry to one of the other safe houses, but he’d chosen to bring Barry to this one.

“Don’t take it too personally.” Lisa rolled her eyes at her brother’s speech. “He says some variation of that to all our newbies in the inner circle.

“After you settle in, maybe tomorrow, Erin’s been asking about you.” Lisa continued, “She’s pretty sad all the drawings you did that she colored got burned at our old base. I told her you’d be happy to do more once you get some free time.”

Maybe Barry _could_ have asked Lisa about Erin, after all, he thought. Though she did say it like a demand rather than a request, Barry was happy to agree and told her so. Lisa nodded, satisfied.

“I _did_ save one of the drawings.” Barry admitted sheepishly. “I grabbed it before we left, and I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away later.”

Barry fished the somewhat tattered paper out of his backpack. He unfolded it and showed it to Lisa, revealing the smiling cartoon version of Captain Cold that he’d drawn and Erin had colored. Lisa snorted and grinned widely, clearly delighted. Len actually looked surprised and a little embarrassed, before his cool mask descended on his expression again.

“Not the best resemblance.” Len commented with a smirk. “But I _do_ enjoy seeing evidence of my growing number of fans.”

Barry felt his face heat up; shocked he could still blush so easily. But he had to admit to himself that Len had that power over him. 

“You should put that up on the wall in your room, Barry,” Lisa suggested. “Erin will be thrilled to see it.”

“I…uh…maybe I will.” Barry agreed, still blushing.

Apparently satisfied, Lisa nodded and made her way out of the van and into the hotel. Len continued to knowingly smirk at him as Barry returned the drawing to his backpack.

Mick had been ignoring their exchange about the drawing, but now turned to look at Barry.

“You got any food requests?” Mick asked; surprisingly Barry utterly. “I know no way you got enough to eat at the bar.”

Mick had never asked Barry about his food choices before. Barry just ate whatever he was given. All of Mick’s cooking was delicious; Barry saw no reason to be picky.

“Uhm…whatever you have is fine. You don’t have to make anything special for me. Something warm, with lots of protein, will be better than I’ve had for most of this past week. Thanks, Mick.”

Mick grunted, nodding and heading toward where Barry assumed the kitchen was. That left Barry alone with Len. An arrangement Barry hadn’t minded in a long time.

“I’ll show you your room. I recommend a shower. We have nice running hot and cold water here and plenty of soap.” Len suggested, leading the way.

“Are you saying I stink?” Barry laughed, knowing very well he hadn’t managed to wash much in a week.

“You said it, not me,” Len countered.

Following Len to his new room, Barry let the relief he felt fully settle into his body. It looked like a standard hotel room, with a bed, desk, table and chairs, old TV he doubted worked, and attached bathroom. But the window currently letting in starlight made it instantly more appealing than the room he’d stayed in at the Rogues’ old base. There were no power dampers here, but there was technology throughout the building to hide it from Argus’ scans for Barry’s power signature. So Len told him he could use his speed freely within the hotel.

Len left Barry to shower, promising to be back soon to talk to him more. Barry really hoped the worst was over and this would be the beginning of new life for himself; as one of Len’s Rogues.


	10. Chapter 10

Barry showered, put on a fresh set of clothes that Len left for him, and felt much better. The blonde dye in his hair was already beginning to wash out. He hadn’t been able to bleach his hair before trying to dye it, so he’d known it wouldn’t last long. He was glad he no longer needed the disguise.

Soon Mick dropped off food in Barry’s room. Barry ate alone, wishing Len would join him, but knowing the burger he’d had at the bar was enough that he didn’t need more yet, unlike Barry. Barry used his speed to eat, seeing no reason not to. It was nice to use his powers without fear or restriction. It felt like a long time since he’d had that luxury.

A little after Barry finished eating, Len returned and sat down across the table from Barry.

“There are certain things I know I need to tell you,” Len started. “But if you have any pressing questions first, feel free.”

“Are you really a slave trafficker?” Barry asked, unable to hold back his need to get real confirmation about that.

“Not exactly,” Len responded, causing Barry to frown in confusion. “I know you were hoping for a straightforward _no_ , but it’s not that simple. I _do_ kidnap metas, as you well know. What happens afterward is more complicated and it varies person to person.

“I’m no hero, Barry. I’m not a meta liberator. If you were still holding onto some hope of that, I’m sorry to disappoint you. But that’s just not who I am. I’m not Oliver Queen, helping the neediest metas.

“We’re aware of each other, Oliver and I, but we’ve never spoken or met. It’s better for us both to not admit we know what the other is doing. I go after the damaged metas, the dangerous ones, the ones he won’t touch with a ten foot pole. And I _use_ them. Every meta I capture I do so with a specific plan, and back-up plans, in mind for them.

“Sometimes it does happen metas gain more freedom thanks to me. But that’s not my primary goal. Every meta I capture, I also get some gain from. I try to respect them as much as I can. I don’t approve of slavery. I don’t like using collars. I don’t see them as somehow lesser than regular humans. But I’m not a charity. I’m in this for my own reasons.

“Every meta I’ve captured I try to work out a deal with. It takes a highly variable time before I offer them these deals. Time for me to get to know them and for them to get to know me, or another trusted Rogue. Often times the arrangement is mutually beneficial for both my Rogues and the meta.

“Sometimes that’s not possible. Sometimes I _do_ sell them, though I try to only use that as a last resort. I try to make sure none of them end up in a situation they can’t handle. I set things in motion to allow them to escape, either before or after they’re sold. I try to never put them in a worse situation than they were before I interfered in their lives, unless they turned out to be a truly terrible person and gave me no other choice.

“But I’m not perfect. I can’t promise I’ve never made mistakes or that no one that didn’t deserve it ever got hurt. But I _can_ promise I’m not out to purposely profit from slave trading. The Rogues are thieves, but we know the difference between people and things.

“Occassionally the metas I end up selling have no idea what my plans are. I can’t share even part of my plans with people that’ve proven themselves to be untrustworthy. We have to keep our cover for our own safety, as well as the success of my long term plans.

“But often the metas I sell have agreed to it. In these cases, the plan for them to escape the people they’re sold to is something we’ve discussed with them and they’re a part of. Usually in this instance, we’ve reached an agreement that they get something from their ‘owner’ for me; whether it’s an item or information. So the timing of their escapes can vary, sometimes only days, but often months and even years.

“Some metas join my Rogues directly. Some metas go elsewhere. But the ones that are sold with no knowledge of how to later escape are rare. Most metas I’ve checked out thoroughly before we capture them, so I know the likelihood of us reaching an agreement are high.

“The majority of all metas I’ve captured end up working for me in one way or another. If they don’t stay with us, they leave and work for me elsewhere. I have moles within the cops, within Iron Heights and other prisons, in hospitals, in politics, in science labs, in important businesses…and up until recently, in Argus.”

Barry inhaled sharply at that. His mind was racing taking in all the information Len was offering. Barry admitted to himself he had been holding onto some hope that Len was a freedom fighter, like Oliver. But regardless of Oliver’s pure intentions, he’d turned Barry away. Len was the one that had helped Barry, even if he’d done it through unconventional means, and even if he’d always planned to use Barry in some way. Barry couldn’t find it in himself to fault Len for that. Not with how well Len had always treated Barry, and still not knowing Len’s overall plan; why he was doing all of this.

But that Len had had someone inside _Argus_ …that really threw Barry. Was it someone Barry knew? He couldn’t imagine it was. He’d seen no hints of anything. But Argus was a huge organization. Barry hadn’t met even half of the people that worked there.

“Did they…did they get caught?” Barry asked with trepidation.

He knew how horribly Argus would have punished a spy, if they found one.

“No. But they were getting suspicious,” Len answered. “I decided it was best to pull them out, give them a believable reason to leave, before it got more dangerous. So we fabricated a job offer they couldn’t resist, and they quit Argus on well enough terms. But now we have no current flow of information on what Argus is doing.”

Barry nodded, still trying to wrap his mind around it all.

“They’re here now,” Len continued, “the person we had in Argus. I think you should meet them before we go on. You might…”

Len trailed off with a deep sigh. Barry realized to his shock that Len looked conflicted, almost worried. Worried about Barry’s reaction? _Was_ it someone that Barry knew, then?! _Who_?!

“There was talk about not telling you about this person,” Len spoke again. “You don’t really _need_ to know. I seriously considered sparing you this information. It might be easier for all of us if you never found out. But I decided to risk erring on the side of full disclosure. I want this to work, Barry. I want you to be able to trust me. You…

“You’re _important_ , Barry. Important to my plan….important to…I wouldn’t normally feel any obligation to share this much with most people. I tell them just enough so they’re satisfied and can hold up their end of the deal. Very, _very_ few people know anywhere near the full scope of my plans and who all is involved.

“But _you_ …I’ve gotten to know you, more than most. When I thought you might decide to not join me at the bar, I…I don’t want to give you reason to run later because I hid this from you. You’re…I think you _deserve_ to know. What you decide to do afterward is up to you.”

Barry just stared in shock. This was the most unsure and hesitant he’d ever heard Len. He wanted to reassure Len, but he couldn’t do that until he was sure himself. He needed to better understand what was going on. Finding out the identity of the Argus spy was the first step, apparently. Barry had to take it before he could begin to decide where to go from there.

“Alright,” Barry conceded. “Let’s just get it over with then, before I drive myself crazy wondering who it is.”

Len nodded, visibly swallowing before his cold mask slipped back on as they left the room. Barry followed Len to another room to meet this person, and hoped that this would all still work out.

Barry didn’t let himself consider further who it might be, so he was utterly shocked to walk into another room in the hotel and see _Julian Albert_ there. Barry just froze and stared, unable to process the sight. His mind just blanked, unable to process this; seeing Julian there with the Rogues, the very idea _Julian_ might have _always_ been working for Len.

“I _did_ try and give you a hint, mate.” Julian spoke up, with a slight wince. “Right before your wedding I talked to you. I told you your entire perspective might be changed by the next day. I knew you’d be with the Rogues by then, not sharing a bed with that bitch you hated and didn’t want to marry.”

It was true, Barry realized. He remembered that conversation, though he’d had no clue what Julian really meant at the time. That didn’t make it any better. He still felt numb and in shock. _Julian,_ of all people! Julian was a _Rogue_! Julian was one of _Len’s_ Rogues! Julian had known Len longer than Barry had….Julian was…

Julian was sitting on a small couch, very close to Hartley. Hartley was fussing with a cast on Julian’s hand. The way they were looking at each other made their relationship obvious. But Hartley soon cast aside any doubt.

“Did you _have_ to break my boyfriend’s wrist?” Hartley snapped.

That was it. Those words broke Barry from his daze. Those words opened the floodgates and let Barry’s rage pour in.

“He’s lucky I didn’t break his _neck_!” Barry snarled. “Do you have any _idea_ what he put me through at Argus?! How often he shocked me with that damn collar?! He treated me worse than Thawne did, when he was masquerading as Wells!!”

Hartley had the decency to look properly chastised. But Barry still felt betrayed. He’d thought Hartley was his friend! But the entire time, Hartley had known how Julian had hurt Barry. Hartley, a meta himself, was taking Julian’s side now!

“I am sorry, mate.” Julian spoke while Barry glared daggers at him. “Truly I am! Barry, I _apologize_! My wrist being broken is _nothing_ , Hart knows that. He’s just being a protective boyfriend. But a few broken bones are the least I deserve for everything I put you through. I _know_ that.

“I know you might not be able to believe me…and even if you do, it doesn’t really make it better…but everything I did was to keep my cover. I had to make Argus believe I _despised_ metas. I had to be _especially_ cruel, to keep them from suspecting I was anything other than what I claimed to be. Infiltrating Argus is something the Rogues have been trying to do for _years_! I had to do everything I could to make them think I fit in!”

“You put me through _hell_!” Barry growled.

“I know I did,” Julian admitted. “I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you. But I understand if that’ll never be enough. And I understand if you can never forgive me. I understand if you hate me. But just…don’t give up on the Rogues just because I was a bastard to you. Give Len a chance to explain everything. Hate me all you want, but still listen to _him_! Please!”

Barry turned to Len, taking in his expression. Len’s lips were tightly drawn together, his eyes intensely watching Barry, his entire body on edge. Barry’s reaction was what Len had been worried about, Barry reminded himself. Len wanted this to work out.

But did Len really care about _Barry_? Or did Len just care that Barry could run over to Julian, snap his neck, snap Hartley’s neck too for good measure, and be long gone before Len could even draw his cold gun? Hartley’s powers were no match for Barry’s speed. They’d trained together; Barry knew how to move before Hartley even thought to use his powers. Barry could be miles away before they’d even realized he’d moved; leaving two more dead bodies in his wake.

But _Len_ …Barry didn’t want to leave Len, he didn’t want to disappoint Len, even then. He hadn’t considered even for _a second_ killing Len. That realization of how deep his feelings for Len went reminded Barry of other things.

Len could have collared Barry. He could have set up power dampeners in the room. He could have just not told Barry there’d been a spy at all. Len _trusted_ him. Len wanted Barry to trust him in return. Barry _couldn’t_ betray him. And not because he was afraid of any threat Len had made before. But because he _cared_ about Len.

But he couldn’t just suddenly be alright with this, either. Barry’s body still burned with rage. Not just at Julian, but at everything Barry had had to suffer through for so long.

Barry kept his eyes on Len, refusing to look at Julian or Hartley.

“I need…I need some time.” Barry spoke with hesitation.

“Of course,” Len answered, with understanding in his eyes.

Barry sped off before he could see any more. He ran back to his new room within seconds, and slammed the door shut. He fell onto the bed, burying his face in the pillow. His rage was turning to sorrow, faster than Barry could handle. He cried into the pillow, hoping no one heard, or if they did, just left him be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More explanations are coming next chapter!
> 
> Julian’s role is something I’ve planned since first starting to plot this fic, and I’m excited to finally make it to the reveal! I wanted to play with the idea that the people Barry normally relies on on the show (Cisco, Caitlin, Oliver) wouldn’t or couldn’t help him get out of his wedding, but someone he hated and didn’t even consider asking (Julian) ended up helping him.


	11. Chapter 11

Barry ended up falling asleep. He was woken up the next morning by sun on his face from the open window. The warm rays felt good, and his emotions felt a lot more stable than the night before. He was still hurt and conflicted. But he no longer felt like running away or crying…or killing anyone. He got a quick shower and had just put on fresh clothes when there was a knock on his door.

To his surprise and slight disappointment, it was Felicity bringing him breakfast rather than Len.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t cook!” Felicity made an attempt at a joke of how bad a cook she was. “Mick made breakfast, as usual.”

Barry nodded, unable to force a smile. He wasn’t really angry anymore, but the hurt he felt went deep and left him drained. He missed Len; he wished he’d been the one to bring him breakfast. But at the same time, he was painfully aware that Len was the one that had sent Julian to Argus. Len wasn’t directly responsible for all of Julian’s actions. It’d been Julian’s own choice how he treated Barry at Argus. But Len had still put Julian in that position of power over Barry.

Len had been the one to decide to tell Barry about Julian, too. Logically, Barry knew it all made sense. Both Len and Julian’s actions were understandable, even if Barry still didn’t know their end game. But no matter how much sense it made, it still _hurt_. Barry still felt betrayed. But he still wanted Len next to him, too. He wanted Len there to finish explaining everything.

“Len wanted to be here.” Felicity commented, as if she could see everything from Barry’s expression. “But there was an issue at another of our safe houses, nothing too serious, but enough that Len had to pay them a visit early this morning.

“Mick was going to drop off your food and probably say nothing. You know he’s not big on talking. But I hear what happened and thought you might want to talk to someone. If you don’t, if you need more time, I can leave.

“But Barry, I…I consider you a friend, a _close_ friend. I just want you to know that. It hurts me to see you hurting so much. I don’t know if I can help. As far as our long term plans, Len still should be the one to fill you in. But if you want…I thought I could tell you some about myself, and how I came to be a Rogue, how I know Len. I thought…I thought it might help you understand us better. But only if you feel up to it.”

It warmed Barry’s heart to hear Felicity call him a friend. He wasn’t sure if he should believe her, but he did. She was there, offering to try and support him as best she could. She didn’t have to be. So he agreed to listen. He was curious about her past, too. He had been for awhile. So Barry invited her in and she talked as they ate.

“I’ve been a hacker as long as I could type,” Felicity began. “Growing up, my father taught me everything he knew about computers. I had a natural knack for it, he said. And I enjoyed it. Together we pulled hundreds of jobs, stole thousands without ever entering a bank, shifted funds from greedy multimillionaires to worthy causes, and plenty of other less than legal things I won’t get into. We never got caught when we worked together.

“But when it was time for me to go to college, we both agreed he’d step back and let me find my own way. Unfortunately, my own way led me to Cooper Seldon.

“He was a fellow college student and a hacktivist, too. I fell for him fast and hard, before I’d taken the time to really get to know him. He took stupid risks, and I followed him. It was just a matter of time before we got caught and convicted. I thought I loved him, and thought he loved me back. I thought we could withstand anything, even prison sentences. Neither of us was remorseful for what we’d done and so we agreed to not admit any guilt or accept any deals.

“We both ended up in separate prisons, of course. We’d serve our time and then be together again, I thought. But that wasn’t what happened.

“I was told, barely a week into my sentence, that Cooper had hung himself in his cell. I found out later that was a lie, but _much_ later. At the time, I was _devastated_. And stuck in prison, I couldn’t even attend his _funeral_.

“I might have fallen into depression, if it wasn’t for my cellmate; Lisa Snart. Oh, don’t get any ideas! I wasn’t about to enter into another romantic relationship so soon after Cooper. But she became a good friend to me. She was so strong, knew how to stay safe in prison, and I leaned on her the entire time we were there.

“That ended up only being a few months. Her brother Len, and their friend Mick, broke her out as they’d been planning to. They invited me along, provided I help with some security system hacking during the escape, and I accepted.

“If I hadn’t thought Cooper killed himself, I might have refused to go with them. I might have stayed in prison like I’d thought he’d agreed to, too. But without him, I had no reason to stay. I no longer cared about being a fugitive.

“We parted ways once we were out of the prison. But Lisa, Len, and Mick…especially Lisa, left an impression on me. They gave me good advice on staying hidden and one step ahead of the law.

“I tried to settle into a new life. I talked to my father online occasionally, but we both agreed it was safer if we didn’t meet. The feds were watching him closely, waiting to see if I’d contact him. I tried to start a new life for myself.

“It wasn’t long before I realized I was pregnant. I knew I wasn’t exactly in the best position to give a child a normal life. But I couldn’t stand the thought of not having the baby, or not keeping the baby once it was born. So I did the best I could as a single mother, living under a false identity and hiding from the feds. Erin made it all worth it.

“I didn’t even tell my father out of fear our communication might be hacked. I didn’t want anyone looking for me to know about Erin’s existence. We managed together in relatively safe secrecy for four years.

“When Erin started developing powers when she was just four, I got scared. I hadn’t even known Cooper was a meta! There was no way I could have guessed Erin would inherent the meta gene from him. It didn’t make me love her any less, but it made our lives much more dangerous. I tried to keep her hidden, but….I don’t know how much you figured out about her powers, but they disrupt technology. Everything from TVs, to computers, to phones, to cars, can stop working if her powers get aimed at it. At that age, there was no way for her to control it. I knew I couldn’t manage to keep powers like hers a secret for long.

“I tried to counter her powers with technology, but there was no way I was putting a _collar_ on my baby! Dampeners set up around our apartment helped some. But I couldn’t lug those everywhere we went, or stay confided to our apartment. I didn’t have any friends I trusted enough to help. It’d been so long since I talked to my father, I couldn’t manage to get a hold of him anymore. He was in hiding, too. So I tried to make something on my own.

“When I was buying components, I met Ray Palmer. He insisted on befriending me, even though I was hesitant at first. I soon thought he was a godsend. He ran a tech company and had access to so much cutting edge tech. He seemed so sweet and completely incapable of hurting anyone. He quickly figured out Erin’s powers and said he wanted to develop tools to help her.

“Together we developed a necklace to help her control her powers. She still wears a version of it sometimes. It’s much kinder than a collar. There’s no shock capability. She can always take it off. It’s not quite as effective at dampening her powers as a collar would be. But I still absolutely refuse to ever put a collar on her.

“I was so grateful to Ray that I ignored any warning signs he might not be trustworthy. He roped me into taking a job at his company, and before I even realized it we were dating.

“Ray had good intentions, I think. But good intentions can only excuse so much. He didn’t listen to me. At first I dismissed it as natural obliviousness, just a harmless part of his personality, but now I’m not so sure it was.

“He said he respected me, but he manipulated me behind my back. He gaslit me into questioning my own knowledge and decisions. He was _convinced_ he knew what was best for me and Erin, regardless of how I felt. I see that now. But at the time, he seemed so sweet and genuine that I brushed it all off. He managed to hide so much from me because of that.

“It was no chance we’d met. Ray had been watching me come in and out of tech stores in that area for weeks. He _knew_ who I was. His company worked with _Argus_. Argus was working with the feds to track me down. They’d told him to keep watch for me in stores that sold his merchandise. They’d instructed him to befriend me if he found me; to get me to trust him.

“At first, they asked him to help them _‘rehabilitate’_ me back to the right side of the law. They knew he’d be interested in my tech knowledge and eager to help. They’d probably hoped to indirectly get me to work for them, by designing things for Ray’s company that he sold to them. But he reported back to them that I had a child, and about Erin’s powers. Their interest in us grew _infinitely_ with that revelation.”

Barry inhaled sharply at that. It was easy to imagine what Argus’ _interest_ in Erin was.

Felicity paused and picked at the food remaining on her plate.

“I should have run as soon as I realized Ray had been hiding that from me. I should have taken Erin and gotten as far away as I could. I _knew_ Argus’ reputation. I _knew_ how they treated metas. I told Ray, but he wouldn’t listen.

“He kept saying they just wanted to _help_. He kept saying Argus just wanted to keep everyone _safe_ , metas included. He said Argus was the best bet for helping Erin learn to control her powers. The necklace was just a temporary solution. Erin would only be safe if she got proper training, he said.

“I didn’t agree, but I kept forgiving him. Ray was socially awkward, was his excuse. He hadn’t meant to hide anything from me, he said. He only wanted to help, he said. Argus could help, he kept saying. They understood metas better than anyone, he said. They only wanted to help too, he said. I think he even really believed that.

“Ray seemed so sweet, he seemed so genuine, and it was so hard to blame him for anything. So I caved. I stayed. I said I’d give Argus a chance. It was a _mistake_.

“Cooper was still alive. Ray _knew_. He’d known before the first time he approached me. Cooper had faked his own death, with the help of Argus. Cooper had made a deal with Argus via the feds, behind my back. They’d helped him fake his own death. He’d been working with them since then. All the time I’d thought he was dead, blamed myself…he’d made that deal with no regard for me. That became obvious.  

“Ray took me to Argus; I met Cooper again and saw what I’d been unwilling to see before. Cooper didn’t care about me. He didn’t care about Erin, his own daughter. All he cared about was _himself_. We were all just a means to that end for him. He’d tossed me aside to work for Argus, was willing to let me rot in prison and believe him dead, and he only wanted me back now that Argus did.

“Argus wanted _my child_. I figured that out quickly enough after being on one of their bases for a few days. Ray might have been able to hide behind his obliviousness and good intentions. But first chance I got, I hacked into Argus’ computer network on that base. I found solid proof of exactly how they treated metas.

“Thanks to Ray, they knew exactly what Erin’s powers are. They knew exactly how useful _a weapon_ she could be. They knew exactly how easily a young child could be molded into whatever they wanted, loyal only to Argus. So when I refused to let them train her, they had Cooper _sue_ me for her custody.

“I was a fugitive, ever since I’d escaped from prison. So I was an unfit mother, they said, especially for a powerful meta. Cooper was Erin’s biological father. He had all of Argus behind him to help. That was what they said, and Ray…. _damn_ him, Ray _agreed_ with them!

“Ray really believed it, I think. He really fell for Argus’ bullshit. He wasn’t being purposely cruel. But that didn’t make it any better.

“Ray kept saying how much better off Erin would be with Cooper and Argus. He told me how I could just serve a little time in prison, and then agree to work with Argus too, and then be with Erin again. He kept trying to convince me my fears were unjustified, even when I showed him the evidence I had gotten from hacking Argus. He said that I was being overly emotional, that they knew what was best for Erin. He kept saying _Argus_ knew what was best for Erin more than her own _mother_!”

Felicity was still angry about that, Barry could tell. She had every right to be! Barry was angry, too. He knew exactly how horrible a place Argus would be for a child.

 “They were going to take my child, and I didn’t know how to stop them,” Felicity continued. “I still couldn’t manage to contact my father, so I reached out to the only other person I thought might be able to help me; Lisa.

“I hadn’t seen or talked to her in years, since the prison break. She owed me _nothing_. But she didn’t hesitate to agree to help. She…I learned later that she and Len had both been abused by their father. Neither of them would stand by and let a child be hurt if they could do anything to help it. And help they did.

“They got me away from Ray, away from Argus and Cooper, and took in both me and Erin when we had nowhere else to go. They knew how much danger it would put them in; put all the Rogues in, and they still helped us.

“The Rogues were purely thieves back then. They were content to pull heists, steal money, or jewels, or paintings. They never considered stealing metas. I guess, in a way, Erin was the first meta they stole.

“I worked off the debt, of course, hacking for them and helping in whatever ways I could. But I never felt _afraid_ with them. I never felt like they’d hurt or abandon us if my hacking didn’t work well enough, or anything like that. I never felt taken advantage of. They always listened to me. They always respected my wishes in regards to Erin.

“And I watched as they slowly began to care more and more about Erin. I watched as the Rogues slowly became obviously fonder of her. Lisa, Mick, and Len, especially. Axel made her that Captain Cold doll when she asked. But even some of the ones that were clearly uncomfortable with children, like Hartley, warmed up to Erin eventually. She’s just that kind of kid.

“At first, the Rogues were focused solely on heists, as usual. But slowly they became more and more aware of meta rights issues. They helped Erin train to control her powers, but they _never_ asked Erin to use her powers _for_ them. They never forced her to do anything she, or I, wasn’t comfortable with. They weren’t perfect, of course. Some of them do push hard sometimes or have short tempers. There have been hurt feelings and tears, but that’s normal for any child. And it was obvious they still cared about her, regardless.

“Slowly, Lisa and I got involved romantically. I think that was the last step. They saw how good together Lisa and I are, and how much we love Erin. Len started treating Erin and I like family. The Rogues followed his lead.

“And Len started planning for more than heists. Of course, not everyone was happy about that. You saw the evidence of that with Leslie. But for the most part, the core Rogues follow Len and agree with his aims.

“Like I said, Len should tell you the details about his plans. But I just…I just want you to understand Len, at least a little. At least enough to hear him out when he gets back.

“There’s a reason Erin carries around that Captain Cold doll all the time. Len is her _hero_. And he’s mine, too. He’d never agree with that term. But it’s the truth in our eyes. We know what he did for us; what he’s _still_ doing for us. Lisa would have never been able to get us away from Argus without Len and the rest of the Rogues help.

“Len can be harsh, absolutely. But he’s also loyal, and loving, and I _completely_ trust him.”

Barry swallowed hard, suddenly choked up. He had hoped that about Len for awhile. But to hear someone else confirm it like that meant a lot. Felicity’s story offered a lot of insight into Len’s motivations, as she’d known it would.

But even if she’d said nothing, Barry knew he’d still have given Len a chance to explain further. This just made him realize it sooner. Barry had gotten this far with Len and the Rogues; he wasn’t giving up on them yet. The memory of what Julian had done to him might always hurt. But Barry wasn’t going to let it destroy his chance at a better future.

Barry still believed that future was with Len.

\-------------------------------

Barry stayed alone in his room the rest of the day. Felicity had reminded him he was no longer a prisoner; that he was free to explore the hotel as much as he wanted. But Barry wasn’t ready to face Julian and Hartley yet. He needed time alone to process everything. And also, as it turned out, to nap. All the stress of the past week had caught up with him, and he’d only gotten a few hours of sleep after the revelations the night before. He slept straight through lunch and into the evening.

It wasn’t long after he woke up that he heard a knock on his door. He opened it and to his relief saw Len standing there, with supper. Len glanced at Barry and then looked away, as if afraid of what he might see if he looked too closely at Barry’s expression.

“Did everything go ok at the other safe house?” Barry asked.

“Yeah, of course.” Len blinked in obvious surprise at being asked. “Just some idiots needing a personal appearance from the boss for them to get their shit sorted. No big deal.”

“That’s good,” Barry responded in relief.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course, Len!” Barry answered; shocked Len would need to ask. “I always like having dinner with you.”

“Wasn’t sure you’d want to see me.”

“I _do_ want to see you. I do want to _talk_ to you. I always…I always enjoy your company, Len.” Barry admitted, “I’m not over what happened. I don’t know if I’ll ever be comfortable with Julian. But this is still where I want to be. And that’s mostly because of _you_. Whatever your intentions were…are…my time with you and the other Rogues means a lot to me. I’m not giving that up, no matter how much what Julian put me through hurts.”

“I am sorry for that,” Len responded, “for how much you got hurt. I wish there had been another way. But I don’t regret sending Julian into Argus. I can’t fault him for doing what he had to do to maintain his cover. But I’m sorry that had to entail making you suffer.

“If Julian hadn’t been there, you wouldn’t be here now,” Len continued. “I would have never guessed the Flash hated Argus, from what I knew of him. It was only on Julian’s recommendation that we kidnapped you.

“He saw how miserable you were there. He saw how desperately you were trying to get away before the wedding, without success. He told me how he thought you might be open to working with us; that you could be a good fit as a Rogue.

“It was because of Julian telling me about you, about your personality and behavior, that I trusted you as much as I did from the beginning. Not every meta we capture can be allowed as much freedom as we gave you at the start. That was only possible thanks to Julian believing in you.”

Barry blinked in surprise, taking all that in. It hadn’t occurred to him, but it made sense. He felt a bit guilty for wanting to kill Julian. But he still couldn’t completely forgive him, either.

“And yesterday? Running into Julian at the market? Was that a test?” Barry asked; his voice hard.

“Yes.” Len winced slightly as he said it. “A _final_ test, I promise. It was the last thing we needed to see to be comfortable letting you stay _here_ , in _this_ safe house. The last confirmation that you’re not hiding any loyalty to Argus.”

“And everything else? The sudden move? The danger of me traveling with you? The need to be on my own? How long were you watching me before sending Julian?”

“That was all legit. If we’d had more time, maybe that final test wouldn’t have been needed. We’d always planned to move eventually. Staying in any one place for too long isn’t safe. But I’d hoped to talk to my closest Rogues and decide where you should stay before that. But what happened was real and it forced me to improvise. It’s true Argus had been looking for you and could see your power signature if you used your speed. It’s true we didn’t have transport with the proper safeguards ready yet.

“We only watched you the last two days, and decided to send Julian in to test you. If things had gone according to the original plan, Julian would still be with Argus and a test like that wouldn’t have even been possible. But with him having to leave, and us having to move…well, the other alternative was putting you in a safe house with less trustworthy Rogues, and I did not want to take that option. I didn’t want to risk anyone attacking you again. But we couldn’t let you in here without being absolutely sure, either.”

Barry nodded, tight lipped. He still didn’t like it. But he understood where Len was coming from. Barry retaining some loyalty to Argus had to have been a concern.

Barry’s stomach growled and he realized they were still standing in the doorway. He blushed and moved back into the room, taking a plate of food with him. Len smirked, following with the cart and the rest of the food.

Barry and Len sat together at the table and ate, taking a break from talking. Len eyed him every so often, as was normal. But for the first time, Barry thought he might have seen some open fondness in that gaze. Len was glad Barry was staying, and he was letting Barry see that. 

“I heard Felicity talked to you,” Len began, after they’d finishing eating.

“She did. She told me about how she joined the Rogues, and about Erin. But she didn’t tell me what your plans are.”

Len nodded, looking contemplative. Then he locked eyes with Barry, and his gaze seemed to radiate intense sincerity.

“I’m going to bottom line the plan for you. Argus is still after Erin. They’re nearly as intent on finding her as they are on finding _you_. Argus wants to make that little girl into a weapon. So I am going to _destroy_ Argus. Will you help me, Barry?”

Barry hadn’t expected that, though maybe he should have. Felicity had said that Len’s priorities shifted because of Erin. Erin would never be truly safe while Argus existed.

When Barry was with Argus, the very idea that anyone could destroy the organization would have seemed laughable. But now that he knew Len, Barry could believe it might be possible.

His answer was one of the easiest choices he’d ever made.

“Yes. Nothing would make me happier.”

Barry felt a wide grin form on his own face. Len grinned back at him, and Barry felt his heart race with renewed purpose and hope.


	12. Chapter 12

“What I’m going to ask you to do isn’t going to be easy,” Len cautioned.

“What in my life _has_ been easy?” Barry laughed bitterly.

Len looked stricken, just for a split second. It was just an ever so slight tightening of his lips and furrowing of his brows, but Barry saw it. Len felt guilty about asking Barry to do this. Len _cared_ about Barry, at least a little. That meant so much to Barry, even if Len quickly hid it by smoothing out his expression. Barry had seen it and he knew it was true.

Len was letting Barry see more of his real feelings, little by little. Barry had passed Len’s last test, and Len trusted him. He might not be able to entirely let his guard down around Barry yet, but it was still a huge step. And a huge reassurance Barry was making the right choice.

“It’ll be worth it if it really works to bring Argus down,” Barry stated, resolute. “You want me to go back to them, don’t you? You want me to replace Julian as your undercover man in Argus?”

Len didn’t even try to hide his shock in response to that. For a few long seconds his surprise was clearly on his face. Then he replaced it with a smirk.

“I underestimated you,” Len admitted, with respect in his voice. “But I shouldn’t have. I know how smart you are. I should’ve known you could put the pieces together, with what you know now.”

Impressing Len was a great feeling, but Barry pushed it aside. He had questions he needed answers to.

“Was that always the plan?” Barry asked. “Did you always intend to send me back to Argus?”

“That was the idea, yes; once I was certain you’d be loyal to me there,” Len confirmed. “But I’d hoped Julian would still be there too, so the two of you could support each other and help each other stay hidden. That’s not possible now, of course.

“It makes it more dangerous for you on your own, I admit. But I believe you can do it. I wouldn’t ask you, otherwise. And that’s not because of any sentimental feelings, either. I make plans for them to succeed. If they go off the rails, I throw them away. I wouldn’t be going through with this if I didn’t think it could work.”

Barry forced himself to not focus on Len’s assertion that he wasn’t following any sentimental feelings for Barry. He hadn’t said he didn’t _have_ them, just that they weren’t the motivation behind his faith in Barry. That was reassuring actually, as far as this mission went.

It scared Barry. Of course it did. Going back to Argus would be a real nightmare for him. But he believed in this cause. Not just for Erin, though Barry was fond of her, but for _all_ the oppressed metas that suffered because of Argus. Argus might not make the anti-meta laws, but they were the ones that enforced them mercilessly. And of course there was the aspect of personal revenge against the people that had tormented him for so long. Barry didn’t delude himself that that didn’t play a role for him, too.

Barry believed in this plan, without even knowing the details yet. Barry believed in _Len_ and his ability to make a plan that could work. Barry would do what he could to play his part, even though he knew it would hurt like hell to be back with Argus.

If it wasn’t for Len, Barry would still _be_ with Argus. He never would have escaped. He would have been married to Iris and hating his life. This way, he’d be doing something he really believed in. Barry could fight again; he _wanted_ to fight again, if it was for a worthy cause like this.

Maybe they could even bring down Argus before Waller could send a message for someone to hurt Barry’s father. But even if it put Henry in danger, Barry was willing to do this anyway. Before, Barry hasn’t been willing to risk it because Henry was all he had left. Now, Barry had Len and the Rogues. If it meant helping them bring down Argus and gain freedom for more metas, Barry thought his father would agree with the risk, too.

Barry could survive Argus, he thought, if he was there for Len. If he knew _Len_ was counting on him, and believed in what they were doing.

“I see the stars in your eyes,” Len commented. “Remember I’m no hero, Barry. No matter what Felicity and Erin think. I promised you full disclosure, remember?

“I’m doing this because of Erin, yes. But I’m not a charity worker. I’d like to see Argus gone and metas have more freedoms. But I want something for _myself_ , too.

“I want power. I want control. Once Argus is gone, I plan to fill that void with my own Rogues taking more and more control of this city. _More_ than this city, in fact.

“I have long term plans that involve politics. Nothing is going to change if the laws don’t. I have no desire to run for office myself. But I have people in mind that could, if in the right places, be amicable to my suggestions.

“Still want to help me?”

Barry considered it. He hadn’t been expecting this. But he found it surprisingly easy to accept the idea.

“Someone has to lead,” Barry shrugged. “It might as well be you, from the shadows. I know you’d be good at it. Not merciful maybe, but fair. More fair than the assholes in office currently, for sure.

“So yes, I still want to help you.”

Len grinned widely, clearly pleased. Barry grinned back. Once maybe, he would have minded the idea of the head of a criminal organization wielding that much power. But that was a long time ago. Now, he couldn’t think of anyone better for the job.

“How soon do you want me to go back to Argus?”

“Not soon.” Len shook his head. “There’s still more I want to teach you first. And Argus would be suspicious if you turn up too soon. They found our old burned out base. I had people watching the rubble. They won’t find anything useful there, but they’ll be able to guess something happened. If you turn up right afterward, it’ll just make them distrust you.”

“Oh?” Barry frowned in confusion. “Wouldn’t that be the perfect opportunity to say I escaped? Not that I’m in any hurry to go back!”

“No, Barry, I haven’t been clear yet,” Len smirked slightly. “I’m not going to let you escape. I’m going to sell you in a slave auction. An auction that Argus will hear about; despite the appearance of efforts to hide it from them. An Argus agent is sure to appear, thinking they’re in disguise, and bid on you. I’ll arrange it so they win.”

Barry couldn’t help it, the prospect of being sold as a slave back to Argus filled him with fear. This was different than pretending he’d escaped and going back to Argus voluntarily. This meant a collar, maybe a cage, maybe drugs. It meant he’d be powerless under Argus’ control again. It meant…it meant Barry was suddenly terrified.

Barry started involuntarily vibrating with anxiety. It’d been his worst nightmare that something like that would be his fate in the end, since Len first kidnapped him. Barry couldn’t shake the dread that overwhelmed him at the idea.

Len was suddenly next to Barry and squeezing his shoulders tightly. Barry looked up at him, Len’s face showed clear concern, but Barry couldn’t manage to stop vibrating. He couldn’t dispel the fear that filled him at the prospect. Len moved to grip Barry’s hands with his own.

“I’m sorry, Barry,” Len spoke softly. “Truly I am. I put that badly.

“I’d _never_ send you in there powerless. I’d _never_ send you off without being sure you clearly understood the plan. I’d _never_ send you there without the tools, knowledge, and ability to take care of yourself there.

“I’m _not_ sacrificing you to Argus, Barry. That’s why we need more time first. I still have a lot to teach you. When you do go back to Argus, you _will_ be ready for it. I will make _absolutely_ certain of that first. I would _never_ throw you into something I haven’t prepared you for.

“This will _not_ happen until you _agree_ you’re ready for it. I promise you. It would entirely defeat the purpose if you can’t handle it.”

“What if…what if I can _never_ handle it?” Barry whispered, fear sewn throughout his voice. “I _want_ to do it! I _do_! I thought I could. But now, I…”

“Then we’ll throw away that plan and think of another,” Len answered, sounding absolutely resolute and sincere. “You’re more important than that plan, Barry. I think it’s our best bet at success. I do want to try to work you up to it. But if you’re not able to, then you’re still very valuable to us. And _not_ as a slave for sale!

“You’re one of _my Rogues_ now, Barry! And that won’t change, no matter where you go or what you do, unless you want it to. If a fake slave sale is too much for you, then we’ll find another way for you to help us.

“You have _a say_ in this now, Barry, as I promised you. That won’t change, no matter what your choice is.

“I’m a leader, but I’m not a dictator. At least not to the Rogues I really trust. I’m not going to force you to do anything, or send you away because you can’t handle something. I _promise_.”

Barry took in deep full breaths, trying to calm himself. He looked at the sincerity and concern in Len’s eyes. He looked at their still intertwined fingers and squeezed their hands together harder. It took a little longer, but eventually he managed to stop vibrating and start to calm down.

“I’m sorry,” Barry whispered.

“Don’t be,” Len assured him. “I know firsthand the long term affects abuse can have on a person. I should have explained better. But I was too focused on sounding slick and clever.”

Barry laughed at that, delighted Len was willing to admit to it. The release laughing provided helped ease his anxiety a great deal.

“That requires focus?” Barry teased. “And here I thought you were just naturally charming!”

“Oh, I’m that, too,” Len drawled with a little smirk. “But even _I_ try too hard sometimes.”

Barry’s heart rate had returned to normal, and he even managed to maintain a small smile. His resolve was slowly building back up.

Len wasn’t throwing him away, or giving him an ultimatum. Barry wasn’t sure if he could handle being sold in a slave auction, even if he knew it was fake. But Len wasn’t demanding he do it. Barry could take his time, listen to Len’s training, and see how he felt. Len wasn’t rushing him. Barry was grateful for that.

Len was watching Barry closely, noting as his calm returned. Len let go of Barry’s hands and pulled back, now that Barry clearly seemed fine. Barry wished he could have held on, just a little longer. But he still appreciated that Len had known the physical contact would help Barry’s panic attack, and hadn’t minded giving it to him.

“Do you have any questions? Anything else you want to know right now?” Len asked. “Or would you like to call it a night and take some time to think everything over?”

No questions came to Barry’s mind. He was sure there were things he should be asking, but he was drawing a blank. It was a lot to absorb. Maybe he should call it a night. But he hated the prospect of Len leaving his room.

“You don’t have to stay cooped up in here, remember,” Len mentioned. “Even if you don’t have any questions right now, you don’t have to be alone. The lobby downstairs is our main meeting room. Lots of us hang out there in the evening. You could join us.”

“That sounds nice, but I don’t know if I’m ready for that just yet,” Barry admitted. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“I’ll make sure Julian and Hartley leave you alone for now, if that’s what you want. They’ll be there, but they won’t have any need to say anything to you.”

“Thanks, but still no. I just need some time to sort through everything in my head.”

At least, that was the closest to what he wanted that Barry could bring himself to ask. He wanted more alone time one on one with Len. Not talking, but just the two of them being near each other without anyone else. But he had no idea how to say that.

“Ok. If you change your mind, you’re always welcome to come down,” Len offered. “There’s paper and pens in the drawers there, along with your clothes, and some books. Is there anything else you need?

Barry looked around the room, considering.

“A picture frame and stuff to hang Erin’s drawing? Maybe two frames, so I can put up the photo of my father, too?”

 “Of course.”

Len smiled warmly at the request, making Barry glad he asked.

\------------------------------

Time passed and slowly Barry got more and more comfortable with the Rogues.

He might never really _like_ Julian, but he no longer tensed up being in the same room with him. They could have a civil conversation, if needed, and Barry only _rarely_ felt the urge to snap Julian’s neck. Barry was in no danger of giving into that impulse, he thought, even when he did feel it. He might never be close friends with Hartley, either. But they were friendly enough. And Barry could admit Hartley and Julian seemed like they were good for each other.

Barry’s friendship with Felicity, on the other hand, only grew. She taught him the fundamentals of hacking, focusing on the systems Argus used. He also got to know Lisa better and spent time with both of them, along with Erin. Erin was fun to be around, and she happily did more drawings with Barry. She always beamed proudly seeing the one Barry had framed on his wall.

Barry got to spend more time with the other Rogues, too. He learned how to cook with Mick. He listened to music with Shawna. He helped Axel brainstorm new toy ideas. He watched wildlife documentaries on TV with Digger. He borrowed books from Mark.

Barry was still happiest when he was with Len, of course. Len continued to teach Barry what he would need to know to infiltrate Argus. But they no longer only spent time together for lessons.

Len kept a watchful eye on how Barry interacted with Hartley and Julian. Len sampled Barry’s cooking, filling Barry with pride when he complimented it. Len suggested music to add to the playlist Shawna gave Barry. Len added his own ideas to Barry’s about Axel’s toy line. Len joined Barry and Digger watching TV. Len commented on the books Barry read.

And several times, Barry caught Len eying him fondly when he played with Erin. Barry admittedly looked at Len just as fondly when Len showed how clearly he cared for the little girl, too.

More and more, Barry got used to just hanging out with the Rogues, and especially Len. Barry felt more and more a real part of their group. He felt like he belonged. He knew it was still working up to him leaving them and going back to Argus. But he believed more and more that afterward, if he made it back, he would still have a place with the Rogues; a place he wanted to be.

Barry finally felt like he had a group of people to care about, and that cared about him in return. That gave him more strength than Argus’ bullying and demands could ever have. He slowly grew more confident in himself, and slowly began to believe more and more what they had planned could really work. The Rogues could really bring down Argus, with Barry’s help.


	13. Chapter 13

Barry set his book down as a knock sounded on his door. Len entered Barry’s room at the usual time for their afternoon lessons. Barry smiled to see Len, though it’d barely been an hour since they’d been together for lunch in the lobby with some of the other Rogues. Len smiled back, warming Barry’s heart.

Then Barry saw what Len had in his hands. The smile dropped off of Barry’s face, his body tensed, and his heart rate sped up. Len was holding a meta collar; the heavy, cruel kind that Argus used. The sight filled Barry with dread; he couldn’t help it. The sight of that collar brought back all the pain and humiliation he’d suffered at Argus.

Barry’s gaze jumped back to Len’s face to find Len studying him; gauging Barry’s reaction. Barry took several deep breathes, keeping his eyes on Len’s face and reminding himself he was safe, that he trusted Len, that Len wasn’t going to hurt Barry or force him to do anything. Then Barry let his eyes return to look at the collar.

Len was loosely holding the disgusting metal thing with his long fingers. Barry focused on those fingers rather than the collar. That calmed him more than anything. Barry did like Len’s hands. Len was not moving closer, not making any gesture to put the collar on Barry. Barry just focused on breathing and calming down more, taking it slow.

Finally feeling closer to normal, Barry returned his focus to Len’s face. When he spoke, he was proud his voice sounded steady.

“What’s that for?” Barry asked.

Len smiled, clearly pleased with Barry’s control of his reaction. Len walked to the table and set down the collar with a loud thunk.

 “I’m going to teach you to pick the lock on the collar,” Len answered. “Then I’m going to teach you how to tamper with it to disable both the power dampening and shocks, without anyone being able to tell the difference unless they closely examine it.”

Barry felt the last bit of tension leave his body as Len spoke. He’d known Len wasn’t going to slap that collar on him and hurt him. But hearing it confirmed really helped. And learning how to pick the lock and tamper with the collar would be _huge_ for Barry. It would go a long way toward his own self confidence if he couldn’t be rendered helpless by a collar again.

“Good.” Barry grinned. “Let’s get started.”

Len nodded, taking out a set of lock picks to start with a demonstration. Barry had his own lock pick set already. Len had given it to him weeks ago, starting with teaching him out to pick all the locks around the hotel. It took awhile, but Barry had gotten the hang of it. Then they’d moved on to doing it again _without_ lock picks; using only a paper clip, or pen point, or whatever else might be found anywhere.

“We’ll start practicing with the collar on the table,” Len explained. “But for this to be worth anything, eventually you will have to be able to successfully pick the lock while the collar’s around your neck.”

Len looked at Barry questioningly, asking without words if Barry would be able to handle that. Barry nodded, determined. He wanted to do this. It would take time for him to be able to have a collar on again without panicking, he knew that. But to learn this, it would be worth it.

\-----------------------------------

They’d taken a break for dinner, then gotten right back to it. Finally, a few hours later, Len decided they’d had enough lock picking for the day. Barry hadn’t made much progress, but it was a long process. The lock on the collar was a lot more complex than ones he’d picked before. He tried not to get frustrated and trusted Len would get him there. It just took time.

Barry flapped his hands around a bit, clenching and flexing his fingers. They were sore and cramped from holding and moving the lock picks for so long.

“Here. Let me.”

Barry blinked, not having a clue what Len meant. But then Len took Barry’s hands into his and started massaging them. Len pushed his long, talented fingers into Barry’s palm and Barry couldn’t help inhaling sharply in pleasure. Such a little touch felt so _amazing_! Len was smirking at him, but he wasn’t stopping. Barry closed his eyes and relaxed, sat back, and let Len massage away all the kinks and tension in his hands.

They’d been getting closer, day by day and week by week. Len had been spending more and more time with Barry. Len had even talked about his past, a little, here and there.

Len had talked briefly about how he and Lisa had been abused, until Len had finally shot and killed their father. About how he’d met Mick at the juvenile detention center he’d gotten sent to for that. How they’d both escaped together some time later and gotten Lisa away from her foster family. How they’d started the Rogues together, slowly bringing in more people and going after more challenging heists.

Len didn’t go into many details, but it was still enough for Barry to feel closer to him, to understand him better. Barry knew it meant a lot that Len was trusting him that much. Not all the Rogues knew about Len’s past.

Len had been touching Barry, just casually, but often enough that Barry knew it wasn’t an accident. Len rarely ever touched any of the other Rogues at all.

Barry opened his eyes as Len let go of his hands. Len was looking at him, his gaze intense. Len didn’t look at any of the other Rogues the way he looked at Barry, either.

Len had spent a lot of time teaching Barry how to read people. Barry had gotten rather good at it. Barry still didn’t know if he was misreading this or not. He wasn’t entirely confident, no matter how much progress he’d made to repair his self esteem since being with the Rogues. But he felt something, something he hadn’t felt in years. He could only hope Len felt it too. And he could only find out by giving it a shot.

Quickly, before Barry could change his mind, he surged forward and kissed Len. Len’s lips were surprisingly soft and Barry fell instantly addicted to how they felt against his. Len responded, brushing his lips against Barry’s, but he soon pulled back.

Barry met Len’s eyes again. In them he thought he saw his own desire mirrored, but also hesitation.

"Remember Barry, I'm not a good man,” Len said with caution laced through his voice. “I'm not going to try and figure out if you have Stockholm syndrome or not. If you offer me this, I _will_ take it."

"Then _take_ me, Len."

Barry didn’t believe his feelings were a result of Stockholm syndrome. He hadn’t been Len’s captive in months. Even in the beginning, Len had been more a forceful rescuer than a kidnapper. But really, Barry didn’t _care_ what the cause of his feelings was.

Len made him happy. Len made him feel safe, and respected, and confident. Len gave him back all the things Argus, Iris, and so many others had taken from him for years and years. Barry wanted to be with Len, in every way he could, and as closely as he could, for as long as he could.

Barry tried to let that desire and that confidence shine through in his expression as Len stared at him. Len seemed to find what he needed, grinned wickedly, and then he moved toward Barry. Their lips met again, but much more aggressively. Len’s hand was on the back of Barry’s neck pulling them closer together. Their tongues tangled together in mouths that both seemed eager and impatient with their kisses.

Then Len was pushing Barry backward. Before he’d realized it, Barry’s legs hit his bed and Len was pushing him down onto it. Len was soon on top of him, looking down hungrily at him, and Barry felt the first fluttering of nerves in his belly.

“Having second thoughts?” Len asked, ever perceptive. “Want to stop? Slow down?”

“No, no! I just…I’ve never…” Barry blushed; looking away in embarrassment. “I’ve never been with a human before, only other metas.”

Len blinked in clear surprise for a moment, then grinned.

“Oh, well, our relevant parts are all mostly the same,” Len drawled, clearly delighted.

“ _Mostly_?”

“You _do_ have a nice vibrating feature I’m lacking,” Len smirked.

Barry laughed, his nerves soothed. With a glint in his eyes, he vibrated against Len on cue. To Barry’s sincere satisfaction, Len gasped and growled, then started grinding against him and kissing him again. Barry stopped vibrating, not wanting it all to be over too fast.

They were still going fast, of course; very fast, Barry knew. But they weren’t in a position where normal dating made sense. They both clearly wanted each other, so why deny it? Why waste time or hold back now? Neither of them could know what the future held. But they knew the plans they were working toward were dangerous. Why not enjoy the time they had together to the fullest while they could? Barry was all for living in that moment and enjoying himself, and Len seemed completely in agreement.

Some of Barry’s delight that Len wanted this with him must have shown in his expression. He wasn’t exactly trying to hide it. The fond look Len gave him back took Barry’s breath away. Then Len started talking while they continued to kiss and grope at each other, and Barry felt almost dizzy from all the feelings it brought out in him.

“I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you in person,” Len admitted, “walking down that wedding aisle, looking so miserable and needy…just _begging_ for someone to steal you away from it all.

“Once I had you passed out and tied up in our van, I could barely keep my hands off of you.”

Barry gasped and started lightly panting, overwhelmed at the idea that Len had lusted after him for so long. Len smirked down at him, knowing exactly the power of his words on Barry.

“But I’m glad I waited,” Len continued. “Getting to know you, I only grew to want you more and more. And I watched, while you started to want me. But I could never know if you’d give into that desire; if you’d want anything to actually _happen_ between us. I’m so glad you do.”

Barry thought he should say something in response, but his brain seemed incapable of forming coherent words at that moment. He may have moaned slightly, as Len’s hands wandered under his shirt.

“You know when I decided I really wanted you?” Len asked, “When I decided it was more than lust I chose to never act on, to something I wanted to seriously pursue if given the opportunity?”

Barry managed to shake his head; hanging on Len’s every word.

“When you broke Julian’s wrist at the idea of returning to Argus,” Len grinned, hungrily.

Barry blinked up at Len, surprised and slightly confused, but still turned on by Len’s expression alone.

“It was the final proof of your loyalty to me,” Len explained. “And a lovely demonstration of both your violent side, and your ability to restrain yourself as needed. When you joined me at the bar, I _did_ rather blatantly flirt with you, you may remember.”

“Oh, I did…I _did_ notice…I just wasn’t sure if that was part of our cover or not,” Barry admitted.

“Not at all,” Len responded, licking his lips. “That was _entirely_ for _you_ , Barry.”

Barry swallowed hard at that, again wishing he could find the words to explain his own feelings to Len. But from the look in Len’s eyes, he already knew.

Len had Barry’s clothes pulled off before Barry had really realized he’d even started. Not that he minded. He just used a bit of his speed to make sure Len was similarly naked a second later. Len’s eyes hardened in surprise for a moment, and Barry worried he’d gone too far, but then Len was crushing their lips together again and pressing his body down against Barry’s. Barry wished he’d taken longer to admire Len’s naked form, but the press of unhindered skin against skin was too delicious to regret anything for very long.

Len’s hands were grabbing Barry’s sides, squeezing possessively. Len’s hands were brushing feather light touches across Barry’s chest, then stopping to roughly yank and twist his nipples; the stark contrast between the touches making it all the more arousing. Len’s lips were against Barry’s neck, biting and licking, leaving marks that Barry knew would quickly fade thanks to his healing, but he wished he could keep them for a day or two. Len’s tongue was moving to lick along Barry’s belly, tickling at the same time it aroused Barry. Len’s hands were moving between Barry’s legs, running up and down his inner thighs.

It amazed Barry that a man without any speed powers of his own could seem to touch Barry in so many ways, so quickly from one to the next that Barry could barely keep track. Barry’s own hands ran up and down Len’s back, grabbing Len’s neck and squeezing a little, trailing along his spine, then grabbing his ass and squeezing more forcefully.

Barry was lightly vibrating with excitement and arousal, unable and unwilling to force himself to stop. They were both hard, Barry feeling both his own erection rubbing against Len’s thigh, and Len’s impressive length pressed against Barry’s belly.

“So…” Len drawled, “Shall you flash over to my room and grab the lube in my top drawer? No one would even see how naked you are, if you run fast enough.”

Barry groaned; the prospect of leaving Len and the warm bed seeming completely impossible, even if he could be there and back before Len blinked twice. Barry’s erection throbbed between his legs. Running with his cock like that was not something Barry wanted to experience at the moment.

“Or we can use the lotion on your nightstand, if you prefer,” Len suggested; his teasing tone showing he knew damn well that was what Barry would prefer.

Len didn’t bother to wait for an answer, taking the lotion and covering his fingers with a generous amount. For a moment, Barry’s mind went back to the first time Len had put that lotion on his hands, many months ago, after he’d taken Barry’s collar off and massaged the lotion into Barry’s aching neck. Barry was so grateful for that, then. But Barry would have never imaged then that those same fingers would be using that lotion to slowly open up Barry’s hole, and that Barry would be eagerly gasping and squirming for Len to put those fingers further inside him.

It’d been a long time since Barry had had sex, back in college, so he was very tight. Len was taking his time, not rushing him. And even though Barry appreciated it, it was driving him crazy. Not enough to stop Len and do it himself with speed, of course. Barry couldn’t get enough of Len’s hands, even from that first time massaging his neck. Now, he wasn’t about to deny himself any of the pleasure of feeling each of Len’s fingers that slowly sunk into his sensitive opening.

Barry could have come just from the feeling of Len’s fingers inside him, he thought. With his increased regain time, he could come again once Len’s cock was inside him, too. But Barry held back. Later, maybe they’d see how many orgasms Len could wring from him in one night. For now, Barry wanted to come together with Len for their first time together. Maybe it was stupidly sentimental, but Barry decided to keep following his feelings. They’d gotten him this far.

Not long after, as Barry felt Len begin to slide his cock inside him, Barry was glad he’d waited. Feeling this without the haze of having already orgasmed once, with the anticipation fully built up, was amazing!

Len locked eyes with Barry once he was fully seated inside him. Looking into those ice blue eyes, Barry was so glad Len was taking him on his back, so they could look at each other’s faces. Lust, impatience, eagerness, and _affection_ reflected back at Barry in Len’s eyes. Barry knew Len was reading the same feelings in Barry’s own expression. There was no need for words.

Len hooked his arms under Barry’s knees, drawing Barry’s legs up onto Len’s shoulders to get a better angle, and then he began fucking Barry in earnest. Barry’s vibrations increased in time with Len’s fast thrusts. Len gasped and moaned, Barry taking immense satisfaction in each sound he made, and making similar sounds in return.

There was no way they could last long under those conditions; either of them. But Barry savored every second they were connected so intimately. He used every ounce of his willpower to not come until he felt Len’s hand on his cock, tugging his hot length with those lovely fingers in time with his thrusts into Barry’s hole.

Len had known he was close himself, doubtlessly. Maybe he’d wanted them to come together too, Barry considered. It warmed Barry’s heart for the next few seconds before the intense white heat of orgasm hit him, and he started squirting into Len’s hand. A moment later he felt Len fill his hole with more delicious wet heat.

Barry watched Len orgasm as his own pleasure took over his body in waves. Barry tried to memorize Len’s face as it was fully open to him, free of masks, and lost in the experience they’d shared. Barry wanted to keep that image with him always, of their first time together, of the way Len looked at him.

Barry would need it, he thought, to get through what was to come. Alone, at Argus, Barry would remember this moment and it would give him strength. But for now, Barry pushed aside worries about the future. All that mattered right then was that Len and Barry were together, and making each other happy.

Eventually, they separated and lay back in bed. Len let out tired sigh as he settled down, dragging Barry with him in his arms. Barry tensed briefly. He wanted to cuddle, of course he did. But moving from sex to sharing a bed was a big step. Would Len regret taking it with Barry in the morning? The other Rogues were sure to quickly figure out what’d happened if he did. Would Len care?

“I see your brain whirling,” Len commented wryly. “I don’t care who knows. No one here is going to judge us. But if _you_ care, you’re going to have to carry me to my own bed. Part of the side effects of being with a human without endless stamina, Barry. There is _no way_ I’m moving from this bed on my own right now.”

Barry chuckled at that, kissing Len in response.

“I’ll take care of you, then,” Barry promised.

Only after he’d said it did he realize how it might sound, as he watched Len’s expression turn sad and sour for a brief second before he covered it up. Len heard it as Barry agreeing to take Len to his own room, and end their time together. As if Barry would ever throw Len away! But it was reassuring to know Barry wasn’t the only one that still had insecurities, even if Len hid them better.

“I _mean_ I’ll clean us up, grab some snacks, and be right back to sleep with you here!” Barry hurried to explain. “After this, I’m going to be even _more_ plastered to your side as often as you’ll let me!”

“I knew that!” Len lied, smoothly, adding, “And if our days together end with more nights like this, you’re very welcome to follow me around like a puppy all you want.”

“Count on it!” Barry promised.

Barry returned to kissing Len, as Len possessively grabbed the back of his neck and ran his fingers through Barry’s hair. Their come was long dried on their bodies by the time Barry got around to getting a washcloth, but neither of them minded.


	14. Chapter 14

Barry’s neck hurt. The collar hadn’t even been on him for a full hour and it’d already begun to chafe. But he resolutely ignored it. Len would massage his neck with lotion as soon as this was over, however it went. But Barry wanted to succeed!

This was his sixth attempt to pick the lock on the collar while it was on his own neck. There was a time limit, of course. Argus wasn’t going to just leave him unsupervised for long, after he rejoined them; they’ve never trust him that much. So far, Barry had gotten close, but ultimately failed each time.

In his room at the hotel safe house, alone with only Len watching him, was infinitely less pressure than Barry would face undercover at Argus when he had to do this for real. If he couldn’t even successfully pick the lock while the collar was on his neck here, there was no chance he could do it when it really mattered.

Len was watching him closely, tracking Barry’s movements with the lock picks with his eyes. His expression was carefully blank, not showing any hints if he thought Barry was making the right moves or not. Len had proven each time Barry had failed at this that he wouldn’t judge him harshly, react impatiently, or hold the failure against him. But still, every time it happened Barry beat himself up mentally.

He wanted to be able to do this! He wanted to make Len proud, yes. But more than that, Barry wanted this skill for himself; to have this power over his own fate. If no collar could ever hold him for long again, Barry would have so much more control over his own life!

Len had already successfully trained Barry to unlock doors, slip out of handcuffs, and free himself from other restraints. These damn collars were the last step to Barry having the skills to escape from most confinements he was likely to face. Barry wasn’t about to give up until he’d mastered this, too.

The first few times he’d done this, his nerves had made his hands start sweating and the pick nearly impossible to hold without slipping. He’d slowly calmed down, getting more used to the experience each time.

“Time’s up,” Len announced, his voice neutral.

Barry swore and nearly threw the picks away in frustration.

“You’ve almost got it and didn’t make any mistakes this time, besides running out of time,” Len informed him. “See if you can finish now. We can work on the timing more later.”

Barry nodded; taking a deep breath and cringing as the movement made the collar rub more uncomfortably against his neck. But he wasn’t going to give up. He was making progress. He was determined to do this.

\----------------------------------

It hadn’t been easy. It’d taken well over a week of practicing daily for hours. But Barry had finally mastered picking the lock of the collar while it was on his neck. First with the actual lock pick, then with various other small items he’d be likely to find at Argus, then faster and faster.

The latest pick he was using was fashioned out of a soda pop can. Barry smiled in satisfaction as he heard the telltale clicks and felt the lock open. He took off the collar, glancing at Len as he did so.

“Fifteen seconds,” Len confirmed the time it’d taken Barry to pick the lock.

Barry’s next task was to disable the power dampening and shock features of the collar. That was easier, as he’d mastered that before ever starting practice with the collar on. Barry performed the necessary rewiring as quickly as he could without using his speed. Once done, he put the collar back around his neck, snapping it into place but not relocking it.

To anyone looking, it would appear to be a normal working collar. He’d have to fake being shocked and powerless when he needed to, but he’d already practiced that with Len, too.

“Thirty seconds total.” Len nodded in satisfaction. “Good.”

“Should I go again?” Barry asked.

“No, that’s enough for today,” Len answered, adding, “I think you’ve earned yourself a little reward, after I tend to your neck.”

Len’s smirk was absolutely filthy, leaving no doubt as to his meaning. Barry would likely be half hard before Len was done applying lotion to his neck.

They hadn’t talked about labels, calling it _‘dating’_ didn’t seem quite right, but Len and Barry had had sex frequently since the first time. Barry wasn’t sure if he’d call Len his boyfriend, but he was his _something_. The Rogues called Barry ‘Len’s _boy_ ’ and Barry found he didn’t mind. The Rogues teased them both, especially when it was obvious how they spent their nights together, but it was always good naturedly.

Both Len and Barry looked at each other with a mixture of fondness and possessiveness, Barry knew. The idea of sharing or sleeping with anyone else was certainly off the table while they were together. But they’d made no promises of long term commitment, or declarations of love. Maybe, if…. _after_ he made it out of Argus and rejoined the Rogues, then they’d talk about it. For now, Barry just enjoyed their time together and tried not to worry about the future too much.

“Tomorrow,” Len declared, as he finished applying lotion to Barry’s neck, “I’m going to fuck you and fill you up with my come, then a plug to keep you full of everything I gave you. Then you’re going to put the collar on and pick the lock again, while I tell you in detail how I’m going to fuck you again when you’re done.”

“ _What_?!” Barry whispered, sure he hadn’t heard right, but his cock throbbed in interest regardless.

“You need to practice being able to do it while distracted,” Len explained. “If you’re not comfortable with that idea, we can think of something nonsexual. But I thought it could be fun this way.”

Len’s eyes were twinkling with mischief and lust, and Barry found himself powerless to resist under that gaze. Not that he wanted to. It sounded like agony, but _sweet_ agony with a doubtlessly delicious reward afterward. Oh yes, Barry could find that fun, too.

Len would always be better at training Barry than anyone else, and Barry would enjoy it to the fullest.

\--------------------------

Training, no matter how much they both enjoyed it, couldn’t last forever. Barry spent over six months at that hotel with Len and his Rogues. It was the happiest and most secure, both mentally and physically, Barry had felt since he’d been a child. But, like childhood, it had to end eventually.

They were working toward something _better_ , for Erin and _all_ children. Even if Len refused to admit just how much good they could accomplish by bringing Argus down, Barry saw it clearly. Len felt more confident pretending his reasons were selfish, and Barry respected that. Admitting they were doing something that could drastically change the course of the entire country for the better, if it all came together as planned, was a frightening prospect. Just taking it one step at a time was best.

Bringing down Argus was that first step, and the part of the plan Barry focused on. It was his choice. Len had offered, hesitantly, to explain to Barry further how he planned to maneuver influential pieces in politics after Argus fell, to make sure it never rose again. But it was easier for Barry to concentrate on his part if he didn’t know the full picture. Safer too, if Argus figured him out and interrogated him.

Len knew that and it made him hesitate. But despite it, Len had been willing to tell Barry everything. That meant a great deal to Barry. Even in the inner circle of the Rogues, only Mick and Lisa were usually privy to the full depth of Len’s plans, sometimes not even them. But Len had been willing to share it all with Barry.

Barry had come to mean that much to him. Even if they never used the word ‘ _love’_ between them, Barry saw clearly how meaningful their relationship had become for both of them. They might not have intended it that first night they slept together, but they’d become important to each other. So Barry had chosen to trust Len’s judgment and told him he didn’t need to know.

Barry was ready, they both knew that. But again Len hesitated. Proving again just how much Barry meant to him. Barry let him wait, for awhile. But in the end, Barry himself declared it was time. Time to return to Argus and kill it from within.

\--------------------------

The slave auction was hell. Barry was collared; his arms and legs bound, and put on display like a piece of merchandise for bidding. He was faking being drugged, which actually helped a lot. He acted dazed and confused, unfocused and unaware of his surroundings. It meant he didn’t have to pay attention to what was happening to him. He didn’t let it truly sink in. He could just keep remembering the last conversation he’d had with Len before the auction.

“Whatever happens, whether the plan is successful or not, no matter how long it takes…I _will_ come for you,” Len had promised; his hand on Barry’s neck and their foreheads pressed together. “I won’t let them keep you. You’re _mine_!”

“The same to you,” Barry had promised in return. “I’ll come for you. I’ll find you. Whatever it is you’ve got planned, if it doesn’t work, I’ll figure it out and I’ll be there for you. I’ll _make_ you mine.”

Len had smiled with wide eyes, shocked and pleased, at Barry’s words. Every day he’d spent with Len, Barry’s confidence had grown. Barry had found joy in living again, thanks to Len. Losing Len was no longer an option to Barry. The stubborn core of Barry’s willpower had been reborn thanks to Len, and Barry was never giving it up again.

That was going to get him through this. Barry was doing this for himself, for Erin, for all the oppressed metas. But Leonard Snart was his inspiration, his motivation, his future. And Barry was not going to fail him.

\-------------------------------------

Barry hadn’t recognized the Argus agent that bought him, but he hadn’t expected to. To his relief, he was bought without incident. The agent didn’t reveal he worked for Argus until afterward. There was no attack on Len and the other Rogues.

He did recognize the Argus base he was taken to. And Waller’s voice was unmistakable in its self righteously cruel tone.

“Welcome home, Mr. Allen.”

Barry didn’t have to fake the shiver of dread that shot through his body in response to that.

They inspected Barry’s collar without taking it off. It was fully functional and passed all their tests. Barry would wait until he felt confident they wouldn’t check it again before he tampered with it.

What followed was over a month of tests, questions and physicals, to determine the extent of Barry’s _‘brainwashing’_. That was part of the con. Barry wouldn’t have been fit to sell if he’d been in his right mind. He was far too dangerous without a collar constantly dampening his powers. And without his powers he was worthless as a meta. So Len had assured buyers he’d broken Barry; made him ripe to be controlled by whomever won him in the auction.

Barry’s job was to convince Argus he was no threat, the same as Len had promised. It wasn’t easy, but thanks to his training he got through it. Besides Waller, during the first month Barry didn’t see anyone he recognized. But he was poked, prodded, and questioned by countless doctors and psychologists.

The shock feature on his collar was used when they got impatient with him. Barry took the pain and thought about killing them all and reuniting with Len. But he waited, as the plan called for.

Barry’s hunger was a gnawing pit in his stomach. For real food; which he wasn’t given, forced to survive on disgusting nutrient bars alone. For revenge; bloody and satisfying, against everyone that took pleasure in his pain and saw metas as less than human. For the Rogues; to be with the only people that had proven themselves true friends. And for Len, of course. For Len, most of all.

Barry waited and survived and bid his time. Unlike the last time he’d been tormented by Argus, Barry had hope of it all being worth it in the end. So he took it, hid his true self, and waited. But with every day his desire for all he was missing grew.

In the end, Argus was convinced of what Barry had intended them to be; Barry had been broken by his time with the Rogues, but he was ‘ _recovering’_ like Argus wanted him to. He was relieved to be back with Argus, he felt a new sense of loyalty to them. He was eager to see Iris and his other friends in Argus. All lies, of course. But Barry had become an expert liar.

They promised to reunite him with Iris soon. She was off on a mission, they said. She’d be back soon and would be thrilled to see him. _Lies_. Barry could read that clearly now. He wasn’t sure why they wanted to keep him away from Iris, but it didn’t matter. He was grateful he didn’t have to see her.

He asked about Caitlin, Julian, and Cisco and got similar lies. He was less grateful about that. Asking about Julian was part of his ruse, but he was genuinely concerned about Cisco and Caitlin. They hadn’t been good friends to him in the end, but Barry forgave them. They’d both been in horrible situations they saw no way out of, manipulated by years of pain and prejudice, the same as Barry. He couldn’t hate them for not being willing to stick their necks out for him. He hoped they were both ok.

He asked about his father and was given assurances Henry was doing fine in Iron Heights. Barry knew that was true thanks to Len. But he’d had to ask to keep up appearances to Argus. They hadn’t needed to threaten Henry’s life to keep Barry in line since he got back. He planned to not give them any reason to, until it was too late for their threats to mean anything.

Bit by bit, Argus gave him more freedom; more opportunity to do what he was really there for; to give Len access to Argus. But he didn’t take the chance the first time it was there, or the second, or the third. Barry didn’t risk it until he was certain he wouldn’t be caught.

After over a week with his increased freedom, Barry unlocked and rendered powerless his collar. He put it back on, his skin aching as he did so, and longing for Len’s fingers on his neck. But things were going according to plan.

He didn’t risk using this speed; it was too likely Argus was scanning the base for any meta power spikes. But thanks to Len’s training, he unlocked all the doors in his way and successfully snuck around the base. He kept it as brief as possible, not taking unnecessary risks. Soon he found what he was looking for; an unattended computer terminal.

He keyed in what Felicity needed to gain remote access to Argus’ computer network, while resisting the temptation to look up anything himself. This hadn’t been necessary when Julian was there, since he had enough freedom to report directly back to Len. But Barry wouldn’t be allowed that anytime soon, if ever.

So Felicity had developed a new code that they hoped would work. With this, Barry should only need to check it was still running via a computer once every week or two, depending on what opportunities he had. Barry wished he could take the time to find the files for Cisco and Caitlin and see what had really happened to them, but he couldn’t risk it. All he allowed himself to do each time he snuck access to a computer was make sure the program was still running and that Len hadn’t left him any messages.

No message was a good thing. It meant everything was going according to plan. Len would only attempt to contact him if something went wrong.

Nearly full two months after he’d been sold in the auction, Argus finally gave him a room without a lock and freedom to move around most of the base. His collar never came off. He wasn’t allowed outside. He wasn’t allowed on missions yet. But it was progress. Barry was careful to do nothing to arouse their suspicions.

His days started to include some training, during which Barry played up being worse at it all than he was. He acted hesitant and afraid. He made his actions clumsy and uncoordinated. His time with the Rogues had made him timid, the Argus agents said. It was what Barry wanted them to believe. There was still no sign of Cisco, Caitlin, or Iris.

But there were plenty of Argus agents to abuse Barry. He listened to their laughs, their snide insults, and took the humiliation. He dreamed of a future when they were all dead by his hands.

When Barry was shocked now, the collar only emitted a weak spark thanks to his tampering. It was no worse than a little zap of static electricity, so Barry could feel when it was activated.  He faked the rest. But every time the button was pressed Barry’s anger and resentment toward Argus and nearly everyone that worked there grew.

Barry would have his revenge, he promised himself. And then he would have Len again, too. Remembering that could get him through whatever he needed to, he thought.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barry's violent side makes a strong showing here. Just in case anyone needs the extra warning.

It was four months after he’d rejoined Argus when Barry finally saw Iris again. He’d begun to believe, _hope_ , it wouldn’t happen. Maintaining his composure and charade in front of her would be harder than anyone else in Argus. She knew him better than any of the others did. He also hated and resented her more than any of the others.

Barry thought he ought to hate Waller the most. She was the head of Argus and the one most responsible for how horribly metas were treated there. But for her it was just a job; she treated them all the same, saw them all as tools to be used.

For Iris it was _personal_. She’s known Barry since they were children. She’d cared about him once. Barry had watched as that care had turned to mistrust, to resentment, to scorn, to outright disgust. She should have been the one Barry could turn to for support. Instead, she’d been the one to make sure Barry was powerless and easily manipulated. He’d tried to reason with her, and she’d dismissed him again and again. She’s started to _enjoy_ hurting him. So Barry hated her most of all.

Barry was alone in his room at Argus, looking out the small locked window and resisting the urge to take off his collar and massage his aching neck, when the door opened and Iris burst in.

“Barry!! Oh my god, it’s true, you’re back!!”

Iris ran toward Barry, fake tears in her eyes, fake relief on her face. She stopped inches away from him. Her arms were open as if about to go for a hug, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to bridge the final gap.

Barry schooled his expression, forcing himself to look hesitant, but relieved and happy to see her. His stomach turned at the lie, but he swallowed it down. He opened his arms for her, and she gave him a brief loose hug. It was obvious she would rather not be touching him and drew back at the first opportunity.

“Oh, you poor dear!” She cooed in a sickening voice. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t get back sooner! I can’t imagine what you’ve been through with those disgusting Rogues! But I’m here now to help!

“Now that we’re together again, we can pick up where we left off! We can have a quick wedding, just a little legal affair rather than risk a big ceremony again. Everything is going to be ok now, Barry! I’m so happy to have you back!”

Barry grit his teeth and forced a smile to form on his face. He’d know before their aborted wedding that most of Iris’ words to him were lies. But now he could read that even more plainly and the confirmation just made dealing with her more painful.

“I’m happy to see you too, Iris,” He ground out. “I’ve missed you so much. Thinking of you was what got me through it all.”

Iris smiled, and it _almost_ looked real. Of course stroking her ego would bring her genuine happiness, even as it sickened Barry.

“Of course you did,” Iris grinned. “Well, I’m here now. Is there anything you need?”

“I…I…”

 Barry’s hesitation was real. He wasn’t sure if he should come right out and ask. But he needed distraction from all the unpleasant feelings this woman brought up in him, and he genuinely wanted to know. Maybe it would distract Iris from making wedding do-over plans, too.

“How are Caitlin, Cisco, and Julian? Do you know? No one will give me a straight answer. I know I’m not cleared for much information yet, but…but they’re my friends and I miss them.”

Iris’ expression instantly darkened. She tightened her lips, scoffed, and looked away.

“Julian quit _ages_ ago!” She answered first. “He got offered some cushy job back in merry old England. Said it was too good to refuse. The coward couldn’t pack his bags and leave fast enough. Ungrateful ass!”

Barry was ready for that lie. He let surprise and confusion show on his face.

“Caitlin’s working for her family’s science research company now.” Iris continued,  “She quit too, after…after Cisco died.”

Cisco was _dead_?! Barry didn’t have to fake the horror and shock he felt at that news. Iris said it matter-of-factly, like it didn’t matter. But she was telling the truth, Barry could tell.

“What?! _How_?!” He asked in a pained whisper.

Iris asked rolled her eyes and sighed, as if annoyed at the question. But her surface irritation was to mask her inner discomfort at having to relay this news. Barry could see that clearly now. Argus had probably sent her to tell Barry this, knowing how badly Barry might take it, and expecting his feelings for Iris to protect her.

“Cisco finally developed powers,” Iris explained. “They were fucking terrifying, Barry! He could open portals to _other dimensions_! Alternative Earths, with people like us, but not like us, like with different history and shit! I’m not good at explaining it. It’s egghead stuff.

“But it was crazy dangerous! We couldn’t just let him _use_ it! He could have gone _wherever_ he wanted, _whenever_ he wanted! He could have taken or brought _anyone_ with him! He could have opened a doorway to an Earth ruled by Nazi and let them come here, or something!”

Barry swallowed hard, dreading what he suspected was coming.

“He got powerful enough that a collar could barely control him,” Iris continued. “So we had to figure out another way to limit his powers. Our scientists developed a special pulse that would force Cisco’s portals closed. We used it to make a force field we have deployed around the whole planet now via satellites, to make sure no one else from any other dimensions ever comes here. And if anyone else develops these kinds of powers here, they won’t be able to use them. But at first we just used it to keep ourselves safe from Cisco.

“We just meant to let Cisco go through one of his portals, end up in whatever other Earth, and not be able to come back to this one. But someone had an itchy trigger finger. We didn’t _mean_ for Cisco to die! It was an _accident_! Someone just pressed the button to activate the pulse a _tiny_ bit early! Cisco was just stepping into the portal and it…closed…slicing him in half. It was _nasty_. Blood and guts everywhere. But he died instantly, didn’t suffer, and it was an _accident_!”

Barry could barely think; he was so horrified. Under the horror, Barry felt his anger building. Cisco didn’t deserve this!

“I know he was your friend, Barry. I’m sorry he’s dead, but…”

“ _Who_?!” Barry snarled, unable to keep the rage he felt out of his voice. “Who killed him?! Who pressed the button early?!”

“It doesn’t matter, Barry!” Iris pleaded. “It’s…it’s better this way! Cisco was too dangerous! It sucks it happened that way, but we’re all safer without him!”

Barry saw it, then. He saw it in Iris’ eyes. She’d have no problem telling him if it was anyone else.

_She_ had done it. _Iris_ had pushed the button and killed Cisco. Maybe she genuinely thought it was an accident. But it was an accident that had happened because of her fear. Her fear of Cisco. Her fear of all metas. She’d rushed to push that button because she was afraid to give Cisco enough time to safely escape. And so she’d killed him.

Cisco wasn’t a good friend to Barry. But he might have been, if things had been a little different. If Argus hadn’t held them both in its iron grip so tightly, if they both hadn’t suffered bigotry and hate almost their entire lives, if there wasn’t so much fear ingrained in them, if the world had just been a bit different... Barry could easily imagine Cisco being a great friend. In one of those worlds Cisco could have portaled to, they might have been best friends. Barry liked to think that somewhere out there, he and Cisco were happily living as best buds.

Somewhere out there, maybe there existed an Iris that was still a good person, Barry thought. An Iris that hadn’t gotten so twisted up by fear and hate that she’d become unrecognizable from his childhood friend. That gave Barry small comfort. That thought kept Barry in check, kept Barry from lashing out. Somewhere out there on another Earth that woman existed.

But not here. Not _this_ woman. Not _this_ Iris.

“Don’t _worry_ , Barry!” Iris insisted, obviously made uncomfortable by Barry’s long silence. “We don’t _need_ Cisco, or Julian, or Caitlin! We’ve got each other, Barry! _We’re the Flash_!”

That was it. That was all Barry could take. Those words cut into him and let free the flood of his rage. Iris didn’t care about Cisco. She didn’t care she’d killed him. Iris didn’t care about Barry, or what he’d been through. Iris just cared about herself and the power being in control of Barry gave her.

Barry drew on his speed and snapped Iris’ neck before she could blink.

He watched her body fall, dead, in slow motion. He didn’t consider catching her, just watched her fall to the floor. She lay there immobile. Her unseeing eyes were open and staring at nothing. Iris was dead by Barry’s own hands.

For a few seconds Barry felt nothing but numb. Then he felt relief. Sweet, sweet relief filled him, followed by satisfaction. He waited for guilt and regret to hit him. They never did.

Barry slowed back down to normal speed, knowing he needed to conserve his energy. He found it surprisingly easy to look away from Iris’ dead body. He still felt no guilt. He sat down to wait and see who would next come through his door. It only took a few minutes for him to find out.

Barry’s door opened quietly, in direct contrast to the alarms now blaring from out in the hall. Barry’s room was sound proof to the outside. He’d hoped the alarms were going off by then, but he hadn’t been sure. He smiled in relief, and then in absolute joy at the sight of who walked through his door.

Leonard returned the smile, decked out in his full Captain Cold gear, cold gun in hand and raised toward the room. Len scanned the room quickly, looking for threats and finding none. Len lowered the gun and sauntered toward Barry in all his cat-like grace, stepping over Iris’ body with barely sparing it a glance.

Len kissed Barry, aggressive, possessive, and hotly. Barry opened up for Len, swallowing as much of him as he could get through his mouth, and spared no tongue or teeth. Barry licked at the inside of Len’s mouth. He bit at Len’s lips. He clutched at Len, grabbing the back of his parka and never wanting to let go. He felt Len’s hands on his neck, taking off the collar, dropping it, and lightly massaging the welts underneath. He had no lotion on them, but Len’s fingers still felt like heaven.

Far too soon Len pulled back. Barry ached to resume the embrace, but he knew they had work to do.

“Couldn’t wait for me to start the party?” Len drawled, looking down at Iris’ dead body.

Barry shrugged, unashamed. He still felt no guilt or remorse. He found he didn’t care much about Iris or her death at all anymore. All he felt was joy at being with Len.

“I knew you’d be here soon.”

That was a slight exaggeration. Barry had _hoped_ Len would be there soon.

A few hours before, Barry had entered the virus Felicity had taught him into Argus’ computer system, as their plans had called for. When it’d run its course, Argus’ defense systems would turn on Argus. Wall mounted guns would start firing, explosions would go off.

All power dampeners, and most collars, would be disabled throughout the base. Metas could escape en masse. Having access to Argus’ files, the Rogues would have determined which metas could be expected to turn against Argus and escape, and which would remain loyal. The Rogues would let the ones that deserved to escape flee. For the Argus loyalists; their collars were turned to full dampening mode, unable to turn off. They’d be much less a threat to the Rogues that way.

During the confusion, the Rogues would enter the base. Using their control of the defense system, they could move safely through the base, only having to deal with Argus agents loyal enough to stick around in the chaos.

At least, that was the plan. From the look on Len’s face, everything was going well.

Len took out a ring, Barry smiling wider at the sight. The ring was black and electric blue, with his new Flash insignia on it. Barry held out his hand, and Len slipped it on his finger.

Barry pressed the back of the ring with his thumb, and then clenched his fist. From inside the ring shot out his new Flash suit, compressed inside the ring until needed. Barry shed his clothes and slipped into the suit at super speed.

The suit looked a lot like his old Flash suit, but there was no red or gold this time. It was mostly black, with electric blue highlights. In the middle of his chest was his new insignia; a blue lightning bolt on top of a white snowflake. Barry was the _Rogues_ ’ Flash now, and proud of it. He’d designed this suit with them himself. He was excited to get to finally wear it outside of their hideout.

Barry and Len exchanged a few more kisses, then grinning widely at each other they moved together out of the room. They left Iris’ body were it lay on the floor, not bothering to spare it another glance. They only had eyes for each other, until other pressing matters drew their attention.

Argus agents came at them in droves, but they never stood a chance. Len and Barry had trained for months how to fight in tandem, and Barry’s powers were unhindered and only made more effective by his suit.

Barry snapped the agents’ necks, the easiest and fastest way to kill the bastards. Then he got more creative. He slammed them into walls at such speeds that their spines broke on impact. He shot lightning at them, delighting in the poetic justice of them dying from electricity like they’d used to torture Barry for so long.

But Barry found his favorite, most delightful, way to dispatch them was with Len’s help. Len froze Argus agents in long lines with his cold gun; rows and rows of solid soldiers. And Barry ran through them, smashing them all into little pieces.

Barry and Len shared glances with each other every so often as they continued to move through the base and dispatch the agents that came at them. Despite the slaughter they caused around them, and in fact _because_ of it, they smiled widely every time their eyes met.

\---------------------------------

All was going well. The Rogues takeover of the base was progressing just as they’d planned. Rogues were going through the base section by section, taking anything useful and destroying the rest. There were less and less agents appearing to kill.

Barry knew there were other Rogues stationed outside, making sure no loyal agents escaped. They’d gotten all of Argus’ files. They knew who would be a problem if they let them live, and who would be happy to leave Argus behind. So they didn’t kill _everyone_. Some they let escape. But they didn’t show any more mercy than Argus had to countless metas, either.

Eventually, Len and Barry met up with Felicity and Lisa. Felicity was hacking away while Lisa watched her back. She was transferring all the control, all over the country, that Argus had to the Rogues.

“I’m guessing you heard about Cisco?” Lisa mentioned, with a sympathetic frown.

Barry nodded. He’d gotten revenge for Cisco, along with all the other metas, with every Argus agent he killed. It still didn’t bring Cisco back or make what happened to him and countless others any less horrible. But at least it was over. Argus couldn’t do it to anyone else.

“We decided to leave the satellites in place that are creating the anti-portaling shield around the planet,” Lisa explained. “They’ll be under our control, so we can always turn them off later if we want to.”

“There might be benefits to exploring contact with other Earths, someday,” Len confirmed. “But for now, the risks outweigh the potential for rewards. It’s just as likely we’d find more hostility as help, and we’ve got enough of our own problems to deal with here.”

Barry nodded in agreement. His scientist side loved the idea of exploring other possible Earths. But they were right. They more than had their hands full with their own Earth for now. And with Len by his side, Barry didn’t need anything else.

“Are we about done then?” Barry asked.

He knew once they were safely away, they’d set the self destruct sequence for the base, as well as all other Argus bases. All of Argus would be a steaming pile of rubble by the end of the day. What dangerous agents remained, having been out on missions or able to escape, they could pick off one by one later.

Barry was thrilled this was all going so well, but he admitted he was looking forward to it being over. He was looking forward to finally having some one on one time with Len again. Also eating real food, and sleeping somewhere he could really relax.

“I think…” Lisa began, but Felicity cut her off.

“There are some…agents…left that I want to take care of myself. I turned off their access and made sure the computer locked them in their lab until I was ready.” Felicity admitted.

Len, Lisa, and Barry all shared a quick look. They all knew what she meant. They weren’t about to try to stop her and deny her personal revenge. So they followed as she led the way.

Once there, Felicity keyed in the new code she’d programmed to unlock the lab door, then entered with her gun drawn. Both Lisa and Len had offered to lend her their powerful weapons, but Felicity said a normal gun was good enough for her.

Barry followed behind Felicity into the room, and wasn’t surprised to see both Ray Palmer and Cooper Seldon inside. Cooper’s collar was clearly restraining his powers, and he cowered down in his chair. But Ray shot up from his seat at the sight of Felicity.

“Felicity! I can’t _believe_ you’re a part of this!” Ray yelled, “These people are _evil_! They’re taking advantage of you! Can’t you see that?!”

“All I see, Ray, is Argus finally getting what it deserves,” Felicity answered.

“Argus aren’t the bad guys here, Felicity!!” Ray insisted. “All they’ve ever done is try and make the world a safer place for _everyone_!

“You should have let Argus care for your daughter, then you would have seen! Metas are _happy_ here!

“But don’t worry, we’ll rebuild and then I’ll come for you,” Ray kept talking, as if oblivious to the danger he was in. “I already have prototypes of nanites that can enter the brain and fix your daughter’s…”

Felicity shot Ray cleanly in the head before he could finish talking. Ray fell to the ground, leaving brain splatter on the computer monitor behind him.

Cooper had said nothing during this exchange, clearly trying to remain unnoticed. Felicity turned her gun toward him.

“Nothing to say for yourself?” Felicity asked.

“You’re a fucking bitch, and so is your daughter!” Cooper spat.

As last words go, they were pretty pathetic. But Felicity shot him neatly through the middle of the head before he had a chance to think of anything else to say.

Felicity lowered the gun, her hands shaking slightly. Barry wasn’t sure if she’d ever killed before. But from her facial expression, she didn’t regret it, even if it left her shaken. Lisa moved toward her and put her arm around her shoulders.

Now finished, the four Rogues made their way out of the Argus base. They all held their heads high and proud as they walked past the bodies left in their wake. They all felt satisfied their job was well done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go, with a surprise or two still in store! Hope this is still being enjoyed! Your support means more than I can say!


	16. Chapter 16

Outside the Argus base and a safe distance away, the four Rogues stopped to watch the fireworks. More Rogues were nearby, Barry knew. The base exploding was indeed a spectacular sight and gratifying. But Barry was much more interested in kissing Len.

The two locked lips, with the sounds of explosions in the background, for several lovely minutes until Len pulled away.

“As much as I’m looking forward to seeing you out of this suit,” Len cautioned, tapping his ear piece, “Mick has informed me our new friend is on his way here and very eager to see you.”

Barry pouted, causing Len to chuckle.

Apparently, Mick and some of the Rogues had approached the person Len planned to use as his political piece while the other Rogues attacked Argus. It just made sense to do both at once and cause the most confusion and upheaval, so Barry wasn’t surprised. But he also wasn’t all that interested at the moment.

“I could flash us back to the hotel before he gets here, or wherever you want,” Barry tried. “Do I _have_ to meet this person _now_?”

“You’ll want to, once you see who it is,” Len promised. “Trust me.”

Barry sighed and shrugged. He’d always trust Len. But he couldn’t imagine who couldn’t wait until after he and Len had gotten some very overdue alone time. He didn’t have to wait long to find out.

There was a slight cackle of electricity in the air, and then Barry’s _father_ was standing next to them! Barry’s mouth dropped open in pure shock.

It was unmistakably Henry Allen. He looked a lot like the most recent photo Barry had of him. But the years seemed to weigh less on him; he seemed healthier, less run down and beaten. He wore no collar. He _was_ wearing a version of his old Flash suit. Unlike Barry’s one-piece suit, his father’s Flash suit was more distinctly a top and pants. It used to be red and blue, but like Barry’s, the red had been dropped for more black.

“Da…Dad?!’ Barry sputtered, still in shock.

“It’s me, slugger. The Rogues got me out and pointed me in your direction,” Henry explained with a wide grin. “I’m so glad to see you’re ok!

“They were kind enough to give me a new and improved suit, too.” Henry continued, rambling a little, clearly emotional, “They even accounted for my tastes and gave me a shiny new hat like my old one.

“ _Your_ suit fits you well, too. I’m proud to see you in it. You do the Flash name proud, son. But take off that cowl so I can see you better, huh?”

Barry did, with tears in his eyes and slightly vibrating he was so overcome with emotion. Henry looked at him with tears clear in his own eyes. Then his father was hugging him and Barry let himself fully give into crying.

He didn’t recognize the feel of his father’s arms around him; he’d grown up so much since the last time they’d been together. But the smell…the smell of his father was unmistakable and so familiar it sent Barry crying harder. He felt Len’s hand on his back, firmly rubbing in comfort.

Leaning against his father, with Len’s hand on his back, Barry felt safer and more supported than he’d been since his mother died. He felt happier too. His tears were tears of joy and relief.

Barry was so overcome with emotions; he didn’t notice the explosions still going off at the Argus base behind them. He certainly didn’t hear a person approaching them. But both Lisa and Felicity did, and Barry jumped as they shouted in warning.

Barry turned to find Amanda Waller approaching them, disheveled but determined, and pointing a huge anti-meta gun in their direction. Barry drew on his speed to disarm her as quickly as he could, but his father was faster.

Henry had his hat off and flying at super speed toward the Argus director before Barry had put one foot in front of the other. The hard steel hat connected with Waller’s hand holding the gun… and cut it off at the wrist! While it flew, tiny sharp razors had unfurled all along the rim of the hat. Clearly the Rogues had added some design improvements! As the hat had connected with Waller’s wrist, it lopped off her hand and left a bloody stump behind. Waller strangled back a scream; too experienced and stubborn to let show how much pain she was in.

“Hello, Amanda.”  Henry’s voice was completely devoid of the warmth he used when talking to Barry. “Mr. Rory has been telling me what you’ve been doing to my son.”

Waller opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, Henry had vibrated his hand inside her chest. He moved his hand back out, revealing her still beating heart in his palm. He crushed it as she watched, then dropped it to the ground in disgust. Waller’s body followed it; quite dead. It had been quick, but long enough for Waller to know the horror of what was happening to her. No less than she deserved, in Barry’s opinion.

Henry turned back toward them, and Barry saw hesitation in his eyes. He was worried Barry might be afraid of him now. So Barry spoke the words waiting on the tip of his tongue.

“Wow, Dad! You’ve got to teach me how to do that!”

Len snorted in amusement. Henry blinked in surprise, and then grinned in relief.

“Of course, kiddo. There’s a lot I want to teach you. I’m so glad we’re getting that chance, finally!

“And I know I have _you_ to thank for that, Mr. Snart,” Henry added, sticking his hand out for Len to shake. “I’m happy my son has you. And I’m happy you’ve gotten to see firsthand what exactly happens to anyone that hurts him, once I get a hold of them.”

“Delighted, on all counts, and understood,” Len answered with a smile as he shook Henry’s hand. “And feel free to call me Len.”

Barry felt himself smiling, too. He was still absorbing the fact that his father was freed, thanks to Len. He was again amazed at the scope of Len’s plans, and he was eternally grateful. Len had given him a new family, with the Rogues. Now he had given Barry the rest of his family back, too.

\-------------------------------------

After the destruction of Argus, Barry watched in awe as Len’s plans continued to unfold.

Felicity released all of Argus’ files to the public, include videos of exactly what had gone on at their bases and on missions. Their treatment of metas was no longer a secret. There were meta rights protests all over the country in response, and a call for more just laws and policies.

Those files also included what Argus had sworn to Barry that they didn’t have; a video of Thawne confessing to murdering Barry’s mom and proving his father’s innocence. Henry was cleared of all charges. But instead of the government dragging its feet about it, Henry was already free and out of their control. 

The Rogues had made Henry’s escape look like a prison break orchestrated by the inmates. Several prisoners turned up dead in the process. That those prisoners had been the ones Argus had under its thumb, and threatened Henry’s life with, was not noted by anyone outside the Rogues.

Any blame pointed Henry’s way for taking advantage of his opportunity to escape was quickly dismissed when the evidence proving his innocence came out. Old reports and videos showing Henry’s heroics as the Flash before his false conviction also appeared in popular places online, thanks to Felicity. The public’s opinion of Henry grew, and the government knew it would be met with significant criticism if they pushed the issue of punishing Henry for escaping.

The Rogues met with Oliver Queen and his organization. Plans were agreed upon that Henry and Oliver would share a nomination in the upcoming Presidential election. The public had respected Oliver for while, as a meta rights activist, but still safely a human.

They were also now smitten with Henry; their returned hero, proven innocent all along. People started coming forward on the news with stories of how Henry had saved them years ago, as the Flash, before he was falsely convicted. Together Oliver and Henry would be a popular political ticket. Just like Len had hoped.

It wasn’t certain which of them would run for President, leaving the other as their running mate for Vice President, yet. They were waiting to see how the public views of humans and metas fluctuated before the nomination date. But either way, Henry and Oliver would push forward new meta rights laws and work toward real equality for all. And the Rogues would help and advise them from the shadows.

Meanwhile, Barry spent as much time with his father as they were both comfortable with. They loved each other; that was obvious. And Barry couldn’t be happier Henry was free and clear. But they were also relatively strangers. They hadn’t even spoken to each other in so many years. So they couldn’t suddenly pick up like nothing had happened.

It was something they had to work on, and they did; training together and getting to know each other again. They both cherished their time together. But they both agreed to not overdo it. They were both building new lives for themselves, and needed time apart to do that. So Henry’s foray into politics was good in more ways than one.

Barry moved into an apartment with Len. It was in a building that many of the Rogues had relocated to, but it wasn’t _all_ Rogues. The hotel was kept as a safe house, as were several other locations. But most of them settled into more normal homes while they laid low and Len’s political machinations took time to take effect.

Lisa and Felicity lived one floor up. Barry and Len babysat Erin often. Erin’s drawing Barry had had framed was now on their living room wall, next to the photo of Barry’s father.

Henry got a place not far from them, but not within the same building. Maintaining some distance between Henry and the Rogues was part of the plan, for the sake of public perception.

With their own apartment, Barry and Len got to have more privacy than ever before. They had sex often, and with great pleasure. But they also fully enjoyed what slice of simple domestic life they could get, while they could get it.

Barry wasn’t sure how long the calm would last, but while it did he enjoyed it to the fullest. Getting to spend time alone with Len, without the threat of pressing danger, was a joy that Barry had feared he might never get to experience.

\---------------------------------------

Barry squirmed in his seat on the couch, trying to focus on the movie on TV in front of him. It was the latest Blade Runner, and it seemed like a good film. From what Barry could tell from the limited parts he’d managed to concentrate enough on to understand, anyway.

Len was sitting next to Barry on the couch, his arms draped across the back and his feet up on the coffee table. Unlike Barry, he was completely relaxed and seemed to have no problem paying attention to the movie.

But Barry had seen the way Len had glanced at him when he squirmed, and the ever so slight way Len’s lips had twitched towards a smirk. Anyone less accustomed to reading Len wouldn’t have noticed. But Barry knew Len well. He knew Len was enjoying this, and distracted from the movie in his own way. Though nothing compared to Barry.

Barry was stuffed with Len’s come and plugged to keep it inside. Len was just pleasantly buzzed from fucking Barry earlier and enjoying knowing his seed was stuck in Barry’s hole.

Barry knew Len liked thinking about Barry’s predicament. Len liked knowing Barry was squirming because he felt full; he felt Len’s come inside him, kept warm by his own body. And Barry liked experiencing it.

After they’d used this distraction to help Barry train, they’d found they both enjoyed it a great deal. So they’d done it several times since settling into their own apartment. It was much more fun without the Argus job looming over them both. They’d had sex a lot, in many ways, in many locations throughout their apartment, to properly christen it. But Len filling and plugging Barry remained a particularly enjoyable favorite of theirs. It emphasized Len’s claim on Barry, and Barry happily taking and holding onto that claim.

Len had squirted his load inside Barry, then put the plug in quickly afterward. It wasn’t a particularly large plug, but it did the job. Barry clenched around it, gripping it inside himself, and better felt Len’s come filling him up too. Len had then helped Barry pull on tight jeans, smacking Barry’s ass a little in satisfaction at the sight. Barry had come a few minutes before Len, but with his regain time he was hardening again before the movie even started.

They’d chosen the movie, made popcorn, and were nearly halfway through watching it by then.

Now, Barry felt the plug move with every shift of his body. Len noticed every little squirm, every sharp inhale, every move Barry made. Neither of them was fully focused on the movie. But they didn’t have to be. They could enjoy what parts of the film they did absorb, and rewatch it later if they wanted to. The point was to have fun together and enjoy _each other_ ; draw out their shared pleasure through anticipation. So neither tried to rush to more until the film’s credits were rolling on the screen.

By that point, Barry’s cock was fully hard and throbbing against his tight jeans. Len noticed, of course. He’d had his hand on Barry’s thigh for some time, running his fingers teasingly along the fabric of Barry’s jeans. Now he moved his hand to Barry’s crotch, shamelessly feeling up the obvious bulge. 

“Someone feels strongly about replicant rights,” Len teased, referring to the movie.

“Someone feels strongly about being full of your come,” Barry hissed back.

Len smirked, licked his lips, then smoothly moved off the couch to sitting on his knees in front of Barry. Barry’s cock throbbed at the sight. Len took an aggravatingly long time unzipping him, shoving off those fingers he knew Barry found irresistible. But once Barry’s cock was out, Len didn’t waste time taking it into his mouth.

Len was an expert cock sucker, Barry knew from personal experience. Every time he got to feel Len’s lips around him, it felt like a special privilege. Barry leaned back against the couch and enjoyed it. Looking down at Len, Barry loved how his eyes were open; staring up at Barry with obvious lust. Len liked this too, the control it gave him over Barry, as well as the pleasure he could bring Barry.

Barry didn’t last long, gasping and moaning as he came down Len’s throat, his toes curling in the carpet. Len swallowed and licked his lips, making a show of it that Barry appreciated. He stood up and Barry made a move to get his hands on Len’s pants and return the favor.

“Not your mouth tonight,” Len responded with a shake of his head. “You’ve been such a good boy, keeping your hole all wet and warmed up for me. I’d be remiss if I didn’t fuck it again tonight.”

Barry groaned, his stomach flipping and his cock twitching at the words, no matter that he’d just come. He’d still be fully ready to come again by the time Len was inside him.

Len offered Barry his hands and Barry took hold of them, Len pulling him to his feet. Len guided Barry toward the bedroom, eying his ass as they walked, knowing Barry felt the plug with his every step. Barry reached out and kissed Len, tasting salt from both the popcorn and himself on his tongue.

It was early. Maybe they’d both come more than once more that night. Barry wasn’t sure. But he _was_ sure that they’d both thoroughly enjoy it, and fall asleep in each other’s arms afterward.

\--------------------------

Barry watched Len, gauging his mood. They’d both spent the majority of the day apart; Len working on some new equipment with Hartley and Julian, and Barry training with Henry. But they were home together at the apartment afterward, and making dinner together. They’d spend the night together, as they usually did. Len seemed relaxed and happy. It was as good a time as any to bring this up, Barry thought.

“Dad told me something interesting today,” Barry began.

He’d decided to broach the subject while they cooked together. Having their own apartment, they’d come to enjoy the process of shared cooking duties. Len was rolling ground beef and spices into meat balls, while spaghetti noodles boiled on the stove, and Barry mixed pasta sauce. Barry refused to get distracted by Len’s clever hands, or the way he licked his lips when Barry offered him the spoon to sample the sauce.

“He told me,” Barry continued, “that if speedsters run fast enough, we can time travel. Thawne tried to, but he couldn’t run fast enough. But Dad said I probably could, if I tried. He said he’s never done it, because it’s really dangerous. There’s no way to know what even the littlest action done to alter the past could affect, and change in unpredictable and sometimes horrible ways.

“But he still considered doing it right after Mick broke him out of jail. He thought about going back in time and saving my mom, maybe making the world a better place through the series of events that would change.

“But then he saw me, with you, and how happy I am. I’ve been through so much, but I’m happy now. So he decided not to risk changing anything.”

Len nodded, listening and thoughtful.

“The butterfly effect in regards to the possibility of time travel; I have heard of it,” Len confirmed. “I have to agree with your father, it’s not worth taking the risk….under most circumstances.

“I don’t doubt your father would have run straight back in time if you’d been killed. I will cheer him on and help him plan it, if that ever happens.”

Barry smiled at that. Len knew what Barry was thinking, even without Barry saying it.

“If _you_ ’re ever tempted to time travel to change anything, check with me first and we’ll decide together,” Len offered. “If I’m killed or otherwise incapacitated…well, that’ll be up to you. But I certainly won’t be upset with you for saving my life, no matter the method or side effects.”

Barry grinned widely at those words as Len grinned back. It wasn’t quite _‘I love you and want us to stay together forever’_ , but it meant the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to thank everyone that supported this fic! I very nearly didn’t write it at all because I worried it was too dark and violent. Then I was going to write a much shortened version, focused just on Barry at his wedding being kidnapped, then picking up when he returned to Argus, and not detailing his time with Len in the middle. I’m very happy I ending up writing it this way instead. I'm proud of how it turned out. And everyone that left me a kudos, or a positive comment here, or on tumblr, or on discord, helped it happen. So thank you again!


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